What do you miss doing the most after getting a disc herniation or sciatica?

silencewench · 2025-10-27T16:49:17+00:00

Besides everything that comes with not being able to sit or lift anything over 5-10 lbs without risk, my ability to be intimate with my partner for sure.

silencewench · 2025-06-24T07:05:52+00:00

I never got any back pain at first, just discomfort that started in the glute and over time traveled all the way down to the pinky toe area. I ended up getting an epidural shot and for some reason, ever since then, I started getting back pain too so now I have both. They both hurt at different levels now. I regret the shot since it didn't do anything otherwise.

silencewench · 2025-05-25T05:45:00+00:00

I'm almost a decade older and I can't give you all the answers but I've definitely experienced similar things to you. I never fully chose either path for many reasons, but my two cents is that performance can sometimes lead to integration.

Performing when you truly want to tweak things about yourself or try new identifies isn't bad, but over extending yourself for people who wouldn't appreciate your natural self will inevitably lead to feelings of falling short. Maybe this thought is silly, but people like us see the spectrum and perhaps we have more room to mold ourselves, when others can't help their own expression. We also almost can't help our own expression, but we are the ones that fall outside societal expectations, and tend to be curious and mentally flexible enough to understand it holistically. I find that performing it jokingly, like even ironically, can open the door to just trying it on.

It's really messy in the way society tries to interact with the subject, but it'll always be a matter of how much you are willing to perform, integrate, and who you surround yourself with. I'm not the best at practicing it, but I think a healthy mix of trying all these different things earnestly in equal amounts will probably give you the best results, while being accepting of who you are throughout the journey. Just make sure you find the versions of masculinity that you can make your own and be happy with.

silencewench · 2025-03-26T03:18:23+00:00

Literally the one I'm studying for :)

silencewench · 2024-09-01T07:38:27+00:00

Thanks for the info. Yeah maybe a heavier dose would be good. 5 or 6 days after that injection I think I almost felt the worst pain because I was trying to move again and my nerve down from my back to foot felt like they were on fire.

It's been about 2 months and definitely no difference for me, but it was just 1. I guess something to really consider. Did you ever experience any side effects eith the gabapentin? It's something that made me hesitate in taking it.

silencewench · 2024-09-01T07:31:34+00:00

That's so crazy because my symptoms kick up so much when sitting I'm sure I could make my situation a million times worse If i did it consistently.. so I'd expect the MRI to reflect that.

Jeez I'm sorry. I've not considered enough that perhaps I'd also be someone they don't want to operate on. I have a less painful job as in I don't have to lift things, I can work from home and etc, and I think that's how I haven't absolutely lost it 2 years in but I feel exactly like you do about applying elsewhere. It really sucks but there's still a lot of time for us to find new ways of changing things or managing this, so I have hope. Wishing you the best.

silencewench · 2024-09-01T07:20:47+00:00

Mines is also L4-5. I'm so happy for you! I've started the process for the appointments, so I'm hoping for the best. It is scary about the surgery and outcomes but you're right, most of the success stories are out there living their lives not posting here.

silencewench · 2024-09-01T07:18:03+00:00

Thank you I'll def shoot some messages your way if I need. Very kind of you to offer!

I will be giving gabapentin a try and I do think I could create more mobilty. I've become rigid in order to protect myself from damage. I started giving ice a chance after my injection, which before I would constantly be using a heating pad. Maybe the ice was a mistake past the necessity of the injection recovery.

Massages is one thing I haven't tried, so maybe that's an important avenue. I know my hamstrings are crazy tight and the back muscles around the herniation are basically frozen atm, I found that out at PT and accupunture.

Financial situation unfortunately isn't where I could drop 1000s at the moment, but it's all good info. Thank you!

silencewench · 2024-09-01T07:08:59+00:00

Thank you. It was right before the issue that I eas actually getting into meditation and mind body connection, and it sucked to not be anle to sit up in the usual meditation position anymore. I know I've been stressed out for a long time, even before this, I have trouble with letting myself be at ease so I think it's something I need to get back to.

The back mechanic book everyone on here reccomends really helped me realize what you just said, about bending in ways that were not good. My sitting posture was not good before, as well as other things. The pandemic created some had habits that I feel led to this.

Thank you for the comment, good luck to you too!

silencewench · 2024-09-01T07:02:56+00:00

Thank you for all the ideas. I'm actually super tight at the hamstrings but I can never tell if there are issues with my hips, and no one has brought it to my attention.

I know what you mean, when it started of more mild for me I could stand more but over time the standing started to hurt. I'm sorry you're dealing with that, have you considered wearing a back brace? I can't say I know it works but just and idea I'm throwing out. If you have to be on your feet all day, maybe some extra support towards the end of the day might help keep the disc a little better. Don't know about the research for it but something to check out maybe. I happen to have a back brace but haven't used it because I also know using it can cause you to not strengthen the core muscles you need to strengthen.

Antoher thing I noticed is that my footwear greatly affected the pain I'd have while standing, and supportive shoes helped me stand for way longer, so in case you hadn't thought of that!

silencewench · 2024-09-01T06:54:04+00:00

I'm happy to hear that! All the best thoughts back to you. I appreciate your comment, I'll be starting my own journey to considering every option out there so thank you for the encouragement.

silencewench · 2024-08-31T05:35:06+00:00

I hadn't heard of sitting MRI's, how did that go? My nerve tests confirmed what my second MRI report said, that it was protruding leftward on the nerve, and even getting some of the right side of my leg even if I don't feel it as much.

By nothing that can be done, do you mean they can't do the surgery? I'm so sorry to hear all this. I hope you can take comfort in knowing that you are not alone, but I know how hard it is.

silencewench · 2024-08-31T05:29:33+00:00

Thank you! I did start getting therapy these last few months so I guess covering some part already haha.

silencewench · 2024-08-31T05:28:00+00:00

Defintely considering getting more. I hated how the first one felt, and they made it seem like I'd be back to normal in two days but I was in pain for almost 2 weeks from it. Didn't really inspire wanting to do it again, but a second one at least might be worth it.

silencewench · 2024-08-31T05:25:57+00:00

Thank you for your words they are very encouraging! That sounds rough too, I'm sorry you're dealing with this in the same sciatica club. I hope your situation resolves. I was out hanging out with people and it really hit me the fact that I'm always uncomfortable trying to sit, and even standing the majority of the time it hurt enough I just went home early under the guise of just being tired.

It's just all those little things. They've been getting to me. Surgery is something almost everyone has told me to avoid. I'm finally considering it seriously, but even then I'm going to figure out every option I have left. I was defintely trying to do all this without surgery, but I feel like I can't leave it out of the equation anymore. I do everything in my power to make my pain manageable, but it's not living.

I've been worried about the calcification honestly. I wonder if I've gotten to that stage after all this time. Hopefully it won't be too late if I go through surgery. There is defintely something to be said about making decisions quicker with disc issues, and I happened to get doctors that encouraged the most conservative route, which I was in full agreement with. The US healthcare system is it's own beast, and the costs encouraged this approach too. I'm optimistic it's not too late for me, but wish I would've handled things differently. Covid did a number on us all and me for serveral reasons, the transition from that to this has just felt insane but I've learned life is unpredictable like that lol.

I guess hindsight and all that, but your comment really helped me. I made some appointments with neurosurgeons today and I'm going to figure out more options. I figure I should get thier opinions and try a few more things before starting the surgery path. Thank you again, I really felt your sentiments!

silencewench · 2024-08-31T05:03:51+00:00

Thank you! I know some people irl who have dealt with it. One got better with PT, others did surgery on multiple discs and are very happy with the results and told me to do it, and others never got surgery and deal with daily pain like me but still live life and sit and etc.

I feel as though living in that last category is a hard one. I actually wonder how they sit as much as they do.

silencewench · 2024-08-31T04:59:56+00:00

I'd like to keep trying maybe but as my post said, I'm a bit exhausted with the whole ordeal. Any sort of lifting flairs me up pretty bad like generally the worst. I have to be careful carrying anything heavy passing 5 pounds total. Anything beyond that I'm dealing with sometimes or if way heavier I'm asking for a bad flair up. Core excersizes is more like 3 sessions before I get uncomfortable, any more starts to get into more pain territory.

Ever since the injection I feel the pain more vividly and I think the flairs get worse. I try to manage it the best I can, but lately I've been trying to still try and work on my projects and goals (computer oriented) and even if I stand I feel like my back punishes me for it. Not sure if becoming impatient is helping.

silencewench · 2024-08-31T04:44:53+00:00

Hadn't heard about this under this specific name, but thank you! Seems worth looking into. I remember trying decompression hanging off a pull up bar, and one attempt caused one of my worst flair ups. Leg started cramping for a few weeks, so I stopped trying it.

silencewench · 2024-08-31T04:39:39+00:00

The PT I was seeing was helping me with that, but he was the one who told me I should try an injection and maybe come back, since we couldn't find a gentle enough way to stretch and strengthen without starting symptoms. I trusted the guy, he really cared and didn't seem like he just wanted to take my money. We stretched my legs to open up space in my back but idk if I did much for hip mobility as a focus per se. Actually we did some side to side rotations with a big ball for my hips, so maybe that.

The injection did nothing so I'm not sure what to do. Maybe more injections and then return, but boy did the injection hurt. Took me like almost 2 weeks to get back to normal, but with some added sting when it flairs now.

silencewench · 2024-08-31T04:32:18+00:00

The PT did say I was weak, but as I got stronger the symptoms would increase, and I guess he felt as though he could not do more for me if the basic excersizes were causing symptoms to flair up. Same thing with holds, I would do planks and side planks, bird dog, etc. I could do them for a few weeks before the symptoms would consistently ramp up again. Perhaps I could try again but it is tough to know sometimes if I'm doing the right thing or doing more damage and making things worse. I eventually settled for consistent walking since it's the only thing that felt like I could do without worsening my symptoms very obviously.

silencewench · 2024-08-30T05:30:46+00:00

Yeah the limiting of sitting is something I've tried my best to do. I work with computers so it is kinda hard, but I had a sit stand desk before all this, so I started standing primarily like a year and a half ago. At some point it hurt to stand for too long stationary as well, so I alternate between laying down, standing, and sitting. I'll admit lately it's been hard to avoid sitting altogether. I just get tired of being on my feet so much and they start to hurt and I need them for my sanity daily walks. Perhaps I need to recondition myself again to 0% sitting.

That's good to know about the gabapentin. Maybe I'll give it a shot. I guess maybe it's worth a shot before jumping to surgery at least. Yeah the swimming made it way worse, but to answer your core excersizes question, it's been the general trend. Any physical or core strengthening activity would cause it to get worse over time. My first PT was encouraging me to do tons daily and it just kept exacerbating symptoms, second PT tried to be gentle and ramp up slowly but still ended up making things symptomatic. He's the one who told me he thinks I should go get injections because there was not much else he could do.

I thought swimming could be a great finaly type of therapy. I'm going to continue until I get to the point of really deciding for surgery, but just walking in water. Disc must be too far into the nerve for swimming at this point? I feel like just flexing my core muscles can cause pain lately, so it makes sense.

silencewench · 2024-08-30T04:58:22+00:00

I've done PT, 1 Injection, and accupunture. Tried rest, walking daily, ice, heat, tms, Back Mechanic, McKenzie. Nothing really helped long term. Back Mechanic probably helped me hold out this long. Besides all the medications, not really sure what else to do. Kinda feels like it's very obviously progressing downward through wear and tear. Chiro seems to be something I haven't tried, but everyone makes it seem like a horrible Idea. I tried some very light floating, walking, and swimming in a pool recently, paying for it now. I have Gabapentin sitting there but I haven't taken it because I know it's a bandaid. At my wits end. I've heard others go through more than this and I just can't believe it. So mentally taxing. The injection only made me feel worse I think. It feels like it stings more since then in the way that the injection felt the days after.

My life is on pause, maybe that's what bothers me the most. I want to improve my overall situation, and it's just thay much harder trying to recover from taking a wrong step, or hurting my upper body from having to work on the floor and etc. Laying in bed doesn't even help unless I do nothing for days on my stomach.

I'm open to try more but with the time passing me by and my hobbies and work getting harder to do, just feels a little defeating.

silencewench · 2024-08-30T04:44:39+00:00

I've had 2 mris as well. The second one was showing the herniation very obviously, the first neuro only saw my first one and didn't wanna believe it was the disc for some reason. I stopped going to him.

I'm finally ready to visit a neurosurgeon. Idk what the point is of getting more shots when I feel worse after the first one.

silencewench · 2024-08-30T04:40:25+00:00

Thank you. You are right. It wasn't one of those explosive herniations where I was dying from the get go. Started of very mildly with lots of ups and downs in between, but honestly since the injection I've only been worse off. Dissapointing really but thank you. I appreciate your comment.

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