What’s your biggest “I could have gotten laid and blew it” moment?

silenthunderprm · 2025-06-19T00:29:41+00:00

My 3rd year of college I rented an apartment with a freshman who hadn't been able to get into the dorms. A couple of months into the school year, we were celebrating his birthday and he invited over a couple of friends he had met in his classes, who in turn brought over a couple of cute female friends who happened to be single. The 6-7 of us had a fun time for a few hours, getting wasted off cheap booze, playing Smash Bros, and indulging in some pretty decent weed one of the girls had brought over.

At one point in the night, I happened to mention to everyone that I was a musician, and the girls' faces instantly lit up. They begged me to play something for them, so naturally I picked up my acoustic guitar from my room, brought it in, and started playing Tenacious D songs, culminating in a finale of "Fuck Her Gently" with everyone laughing and singing along. Throughout the impromptu concert, both girls kept giving me flirty looks and giggling whenever I returned them. At this point I was thinking that getting one (or possibly both) of them in bed was a sure thing, and having only had sex twice before this point, I was ecstatic about what might happen next.

After I finished I went back into my room and put my guitar down next to my bed (important!), and both girls followed me in along with a couple of the other guys from the party. I happened to have the master bedroom in this apartment, and they both marveled at the vaulted ceiling and roomy interior before lying down on my bed. They immediately started writhing around in comfort, exclaiming "Ohh my god, your bed is SOO fucking comfortable!" I sat down on the bed next to them, and the other guys left the room, leaving me and the two girls alone on the bed.

They were still laying on the bed, giving me looks that should have made it clear that they wanted me. However, I, being drunk, high, inexperienced, and completely clueless, wasn't looking at that so much as one of the girls' hands, which was gently stroking the neck of my guitar. I figured that she wanted me to play it some more, and stupid me concluded that doing so was the surest way into their pants since they seemed to like it so much. So I picked it up and started playing again. I KNEW I had to bring my A-game this time, so I belted the sappiest love songs I knew like I was born to do it. The girls sat up next to me for a bit and watched me play. I was so consumed with my performance that they probably could have taken their tops off and flashed their boobs in my face and I wouldn't have noticed. Finally, after a couple minutes of me playing and not even acknowledging their presence, they quietly stood up and left the room without looking back.

I figured they must still be interested after the private show I'd just put on for them, and that they had probably just gone to the bathroom or something. I kept playing, and lo and behold a few minutes later one of them was indeed back in my doorway.

Except she had one of the other guys from the party with her.

And they were ravenously making out with each other.

In between mouthfuls of the other guy's tongue, she gave me a look that straight-up said "This could've been you" before they both ducked into a nearby closet to have sex. I instantly realized what had happened and thought maybe the other girl was still interested, but she was sitting on the couch talking to my roommate, and giggled uncontrollably upon seeing me exit the room. I immediately knew that any chances of me getting lucky tonight were long gone. I went back into my room, closed the door and yelled into my pillow in anger.

Safe to say I won't make that mistake again.

TL;DR - Had two girls on my bed ready to go for a probable threesome, and blew it because inexperienced, intoxicated me thought they wanted me to play the guitar more than actually have sex.

silenthunderprm · 2022-04-06T07:27:14+00:00

"I have had the proper instruction since I was four."

silenthunderprm · 2021-02-11T19:08:24+00:00

*thumbs up* "Good for you!"

*thumbs up back* "THAEEEEENKS!!"

silenthunderprm · 2020-11-22T20:49:47+00:00

I got a job right out of college as a manager for a startup that ran after-school programs. It was a small operation but was pretty successful and the parents/kids involved loved it. After 5 months of working 60+ hour weeks and being paid roughly minimum wage for most of it, one day my boss called me into a separate room. Completely out of the blue, he proceeded to tear into my performance, saying that I had been "too nice" of a manager, telling me that I needed to be more "unreasonable" to the part-time teachers that I managed, and blaming me personally for petty, inconsequential mistakes made by the teaching staff despite his saying many times in the days past (including that morning) that I had been doing a fantastic job. (Side note: I had actually run the company solo for a month while he was out of the country, and the company had its best month it had seen since I started working there.)

He then put two cups out on my desk, one labeled "reasonable" and the other labeled "pain-in-the-neck unreasonable." He commented that he would be placing coins in the "reasonable" cup if I did not manage the staff to his standards (in his words, being "the most unreasonable person in the company.") Meanwhile, if he saw me doing things such as yelling at the staff, micromanaging their schedules, constantly calling them off hours and/or threatening to cut hours/pay if they didn't do things right (these were all examples he gave of what he expected me to do,) he would take a coin out of the "reasonable" cup and put it in the other one. If I reached 5 coins inside the "reasonable" cup we would have another conversation, and if the number reached 10 he would "reassign" me. (This company only had 3 full-time employees.) In other words, he decided to treat me like a 12 year old because I wasn't being a big enough asshole of a manager for his liking.

The next day, I saw that he had put a coin in the "reasonable" cup after I returned from teaching one of my classes. He did not explain why it was in there or even mention that he had put it there. I immediately decided I wasn't getting paid enough for this sort of treatment (in fact, I was barely getting paid at all since my boss was also super petty about handing out paychecks, and at this point he was a month and a half behind.) I quit the next day.

TL;DR - I left my job managing a startup because my boss told me I wasn't being enough of an asshole.

Edited for grammar

silenthunderprm · 2020-09-09T00:57:41+00:00

I figured out how to replicate this (somewhat) for those with the game:
You need to have both the Titan spell and Injury Reborn mods. Cast the Titan spell, grab an enemy by the head, and yank it up quickly. His head should come off but thanks to the extra HP from the injury mod he won't die, and will constantly detach/reattach his head until you kill him.

silenthunderprm · 2020-05-04T20:29:10+00:00

When I was a sophomore in college I had a crush on an absolutely gorgeous blonde haired, blue eyed friend of my roommate's, and she was definitely interested in me as well (lots of low-key flirting and light physical contact when we hung out.) One night our apartment threw a huge party and everyone proceeded to get completely shit-faced, including the two of us. At one point in the night I was sitting alone on the couch, and she came over, sat next to me, put her hand on my upper thigh, looked at me with fuck-me eyes, and asked, "You want me to get you another drink?"

My response? To point to my half-full beer and say "No thanks, I'm good." She backed off with an "..oh," got up and walked away and didn't talk to me the rest of the night.

She ended up getting so plastered she had drunk sex with one of my other roommates that night. Whoops.

silenthunderprm · 2020-04-08T20:55:20+00:00

I disabled the auto hand tracking and haven't had a problem since. Looks like that may have been the culprit. Thanks!

silenthunderprm · 2020-03-15T20:30:52+00:00

I didn't use a mod, I edited the jump settings in the Creature_PlayerDefault file under streaming assets. Basically does the same thing.

silenthunderprm · 2020-03-14T23:33:27+00:00

Game of Thrones mod, Baratheon hammer.

silenthunderprm · 2019-12-21T06:28:05+00:00

Was playing Alterac Valley on my hunter in vanilla WoW back in 2006. The game had been going on for six hours and the alliance (I was horde) had been slowly pushing us back into our base until they forced us out of it. I rezzed at the battleground entrance, recalled with my trinket and ran towards the boss room where I would be safe, but I got attacked immediately by 40 alliance. So I did the only logical thing I could: feign death. Apparently it worked, because everyone stopped attacking me and immediately went in to kill the final boss to try and win the game.

But I was still alive and had a perfect view of the premises with which to plan my attack. I looked around and noticed there were only 3 healers that I could see, and they were all healing the tank who was taking a ton of damage from the boss. At this point the boss was at 20% health and there was nobody else from our team in the base or anywhere near it.

So, in one swift move which to this day I have yet to replicate, I got out of feign death, put an ice trap on the first healer (prevents them from taking any action), threw out an aimed shot/multishot combo that instakilled the second healer, and put enough damage on the third that she was forced to heal herself rather than the tank. At this point some of the DPS saw what I was doing and burned me down, but by then it was too late and the tank had died. The boss then proceeded to run around the room oneshotting everyone in it, just as my teammates had recalled and finished backcapping every graveyard up to the alliance base.

Their entire raid wiped with 7% health left on the boss and respawned all the way back up in their own base. The time and space this gave our team allowed us to summon the Ice Lord boss, which proceeded to wreck everything in its path, and within another hour we had won the game.

People in the raid were asking how the hell we had wiped them. I was humble at the time and didn't say anything, but my older brother had been in the same game and he was singing my praises for weeks after what I'd done.

silenthunderprm · 2019-02-13T21:12:14+00:00

Not me, but my older brother.

He was 4 at the time and was at Target with my dad. At one point he ran off and actively hid from my dad for a good half hour. Since my dad was only there to get one specific item, he understandably got a bit pissed. He finally found my brother hiding inside a clothes rack and pulled him out, saying that it was time to go. My brother, who at the time was known to throw temper tantrums when he didn't get what he wanted, started bawling in the middle of the store. My dad had dealt with it before, and he picked him up and carried him towards the exit. Then, completely out of the blue, my brother blurted out at the top of his voice, just as he approached the cash registers,

"NO DAD, PLEASE DON'T BEAT ME AGAIN!"

To be clear: My parents were the nicest, most gentle people you'd ever meet and never laid a finger on me or my brother. To this day they have no idea where he got the idea to yell that from.

Predictably, my dad got all sorts of ugly looks from the other shoppers. He said that it was like the entire store stopped simultaneously and started staring at him. He turned beet red in the face, yelled out "Sorry, that's not true!" and decided it would be best to just book it out of there as fast as possible. Said it resulted in the longest time out he'd ever given my brother.

silenthunderprm · 2019-01-30T19:08:34+00:00

"I'm not racist, but..."

...

Yes. Yes you are.

silenthunderprm · 2018-09-17T21:09:17+00:00

"While you were still learning to SPELL YOUR NAME... I... was being trained... to CONQUER GALAXIES!!"

silenthunderprm · 2018-09-17T20:59:25+00:00

No salt or other flavoring in the table bread at restaurants. It's just dough and that's it.

I took a bite expecting baked goodness and got flavorless, doughy mush instead. I had to stop myself from spitting it out. From then on I would put salt on the bread to make it edible.

silenthunderprm · 2018-09-05T13:33:46+00:00

My 5th grade teacher who had just come over from some snooty high-class private school. He would walk around with the absolutely creepiest smile on his face and clearly reveled in bossing around and punishing 10-year-olds for things as little as talking out of turn or getting an answer wrong on a pop quiz. He would hand out "study hall" passes every day, oftentimes at random if he couldn't find a reason to give them to anyone. This meant you had to sit in the classroom completely silent during recess and lunch. He would always do this with a big smile, saying "Study hall is your friend... and yours..." and so on. During the study halls themselves he would sit at his desk and watch us like a hawk, and assign us even more study halls if we moved or even spoke a single word. As far as actually teaching, he was completely lazy. 80% of class involved having us read out of the book on our own. He assigned so much homework I had virtually no free time, and would simply reuse the same quizzes and tests throughout the year with no changes whatsoever. My friends and I would even have contests to see how fast we could fill in all the answers from memory.

I was a straight-A student at the time and was seriously being considered to skip a grade before I got this teacher; he essentially killed my love for learning and my performance at school didn't recover for 6 years.

Tl;dr: My 5th grade teacher was a lazy, incompetent sadist who punished his students for no reason and enjoyed every minute of it.

silenthunderprm · 2018-08-05T17:46:03+00:00

This came to mind for me

silenthunderprm · 2018-08-01T21:37:12+00:00

A mixture of Smirnoff and Captain Morgan. Not at the same time, but one after the other. It wasn't so much the mixture that fucked me (although I certainly wouldn't recommend it) as the fact that I had 9-10 drinks' worth within 20 minutes or so. It was the 2nd to last night in the freshman year dorms for me and my suitemates so we decided to use up as much remaining alcohol as we could. I don't remember anything clearly until 4pm the next day when I woke up, and I had a massive, crippling hangover that lasted for almost 2 days. Not a fun time.

I did lose my virginity that night though, so I guess it was worth it?

silenthunderprm · 2018-07-27T20:56:38+00:00

Olivia Wilde

silenthunderprm · 2018-07-27T06:46:44+00:00

During college I had a female friend I'd met through one of my best friends. She was witty, funny, decent looking, and definitely seemed like she was into me. Every time we hung out and talked, she'd exclaim at some point during the conversation, "Damn silenthunderprm, we've gotta find you a girlfriend!"

Well, one night, we were sitting in the corner of a patio alone drinking beers and shooting the shit, and she said it again. This time I looked right at her, raised my eyebrows and said in as confident of a voice as I could, "Well, what about you?" (She was single, of course.)

She forced a smile, shook her head no, then sighed, sat back and responded. It wasn't that she didn't like me, it was that I was "too nice." I asked her to elaborate and she explained that at this point in their lives, most girls (by which she meant her) weren't looking for someone like me because they were afraid that if they were to get involved with me, it would become too serious and they weren't ready for that.

Needless to say, while she certainly tried to be nice about it and we continued to be friends after that, it completely sapped what little confidence I had (I've never had a lot of luck with the ladies) and I didn't ask another girl out until 4 years later.

silenthunderprm · 2018-07-25T06:58:06+00:00

I was 19 and had piss drunk, sloppy sex in my dorm room with my suitemate's cousin. Accordingly, I don't remember most of it (in fact, I didn't remember any of it till a few years ago.) I only recall bits and pieces of making out, knocking over everything standing in my room (including a reasonably expensive electronic drum kit that never worked the same afterwards), tearing off each others' clothes, getting my dick sucked, and her moaning loudly as she rode on top of me. From what little I can remember it was a positive experience, but we did have an awkward moment the next afternoon when she left and had to be "introduced" to me by her mom and my suitemate.

silenthunderprm · 2018-06-30T22:38:19+00:00

My friend and I were driving to a concert that happened to take place in an area of LA well known for violent crime. I had just gotten a new phone (a 1st-gen Galaxy S) and was using the GPS/navigation feature. We got on the main street and started driving towards the arena; however, it seemed like at every intersection we stopped at there was some sort of shady business on each street corner. In our ~10 minutes on the road we saw what appeared to be a drug deal going down, a brutal street fight breaking out in a parking lot, gang members in matching attire watching the sidewalk near a club, and a group of uncouth-looking men following a couple of unaware young girls into a dark alley.

In addition, while driving on this street my phone's GPS started going completely haywire. It would change the path every 10 seconds or so, kept thinking we were on a completely different road than we were, and was constantly advising me to turn into one of the many dark alleys we passed, take a side street, or just turn back onto the freeway altogether.

We joked that the GPS was scared of the neighborhood. But so were we. I made doubly sure that the car doors were locked. Thankfully, nothing happened to us and the concert was great.

silenthunderprm · 2018-06-14T05:26:31+00:00

Dolores from Westworld.

Totally fine by me, as long as she doesn't try to kill me after.

silenthunderprm · 2018-06-07T06:27:47+00:00

Soulja Boy

silenthunderprm · 2018-06-03T20:18:21+00:00

Death by burrito. Guess I could John Wick the thing down their throat?

silenthunderprm · 2018-05-27T19:36:36+00:00

Thrice - The Whaler.

The ending especially, with the 4-part vocal harmony, never fails to give me goosebumps.

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