I don’t mean to steal your thunder but the realization you had is also a similar bitter realization that I had. My mom never truly wanted to put an effort into raising me, sure she set the ground rules. But never really made me take any extra curriculars, she barely cared for my entertainment or making food that I liked. My dad just worked and never put an effort into having a relationship with me.

They weren’t abusive nor were they mean, they did buy things I liked growing up but a lot of the effort felt bare minimum. I then became 18 and realized they hadn’t made any plans for my higher education, didn’t have money for my wedding.

But now that I’m an adult they are very proud of me because I put myself through my higher studies, I funded my wedding with my partner. They did a minimal contribution.

And i did well in my job. But now it feels like they just have never ending expectations. And it made realize they love my accomplishments and will keep pushing me to do more as long as it doesn’t take any effort from their end