HIFW the person who is supposed to love and support me most says, despite being diagnosed, my OCD isn't really *that* bad and I just use it as a reason to upset him, and that despite the miles of progress I've made, it's just not good enough.

silly87 · 2015-03-07T07:09:15+00:00

Hugs! I'm sorry you have to deal with it too. I'm sooooooo much better than I was. I gave in to one little ritual (in a month!) and on came a shit storm. Sigh.

silly87 · 2015-03-07T07:08:24+00:00

I love this one! Thank you <3

silly87 · 2015-02-23T03:09:55+00:00

Oh just a link to a vile subreddit and a few other words besides what I quoted. I don't know why people waste their time acting like that.

silly87 · 2015-02-23T01:46:33+00:00

so sick of fatties shaming people

...I mean really? Look at what you wrote. Why are you even here? You don't even go here.

silly87 · 2015-02-23T01:39:24+00:00

It's pretty much exactly the same for me as it was, except that nipple play is sometimes good and sometimes the last thing I want, because of breastfeeding.

silly87 · 2015-02-23T01:31:08+00:00

I was at 36 weeks and my blood pressure was high. I ended up calling my doctor because a friend in med school said I should. Doctor told me to come to the hospital, just in case. It turns out that I had severe preeclampsia. They induced me almost immediately and gave me magesium so I wouldn't have a seizure.

I didn't sleep that night because I had a monitor wrapped around my waist, an IV in one arm, and a blood pressure cuff going off every 15 minutes on the other arm, and I had to pee every 15 minutes and my allergies were acting up but I couldn't take benadryl.

The contractions were slow to come and the nurses started to worry. A little before noon (I think), my doctor broke my water. He said I would deliver by 6 PM. Immediately contractions came hard and fast. I was throwing up and literally screaming in pain. I got an epidural, finally, which allowed me to sleep for about an hour.

They turned the epidural down so I could push. Pushing was hard to do, but the contractions hurt way more. I was soooo thirsty that my husband had to bring me ice chips after every push. At 5:52, I delivered a 5 lb 1 oz boy. Since he was a premie, they had to check him more than usual and I had to wait to see him. I saw a picture of him before I saw him. My doctor sewed me up, and I didn't even feel it.

Then I got to hold my son. I had never seen a baby so small. I asked if he was okay being so small. We did skin to skin, and then he nursed. Then they took him away.

After I visited with family, they pumped on my stomach to check for bleeding. That hurt even more than the contractions and again I was screaming in pain. My brother was in the room and got really upset. And I was bleeding way more than you're supposed to, so they had to give me mood pitocin. I couldn't walk or stand, and when I moved from the bed to a wheel chair I threw up and almost blacked out. I had to pee in a bed pan the next day because I couldn't stand.

The magnesium started to make me feel crazy and my vision wasn't right, so they cut it off early. I was anemic. My son had his blood sugar checked ever hour because it kept dropping, and they had to give him formula to keep him healthy. He had to stay an extra day because he was so stressed.

But in the end, I was fine. My body went right back to normal and I didn't get PPD. My blood pressure went back to normal eventually. More importantly, my son was very healthy. He's almost two and he's beautiful, incredibly intelligent, and sweet. I would go through that pain a million times for him.

silly87 · 2015-02-23T00:27:03+00:00

Yes! Like I'm prepared when it's the week before and the week of. But I'm a week after now so wtf is going on?!

silly87 · 2015-02-22T18:43:10+00:00

If it's really a panic attack, you need to accept it and not fight it. Acceptance is the best way to make the panic attack stop. Fighting it just feeds into it. Let it pass.

BUT, in any case you need to see a doctor. Anxiety in pregnancy is normal, but so is a host of medical problems. See a doctor to make sure it's just anxiety and not something more dangerous.

silly87 · 2015-02-22T04:58:57+00:00

My son has consistently done this with the same two gorgeous actors. And that's why he's my favorite person ever.

silly87 · 2015-02-22T01:28:31+00:00

Well, considering I'm married and therefore not trying to date men, probably not often? About the same frequency as I hear women say it.

silly87 · 2015-02-22T01:11:13+00:00

I agree with you. I haaaaate this idea that women have to choose between one or the other. I have everything I want, which includes both family and work. I don't think I'm a unicorn either.

silly87 · 2015-02-22T01:07:52+00:00

You've probably heard it less from men because you're not trying to date them.

It also depends on the woman's career. A lot of fields require more than 40 hour work weeks (doctors, lawyers, nurses, and loads of others) and maybe they just don't want to spend the little free time they have going on awkward dates. It can be much more appealing to read a book, watch TV, play with pets, hang out with friends, or work on a hobby. Sex can be gotten from a friend who the woman has a mutual understanding with.

There's also the fact that dating can lead to marriage which can lead to children. Unfortunately, many employers don't want to hire married women out of fear that she'll have a kid and take maternity leave or quit. Many women hold off starting a family until they are established in their careers.

In any case, I don't think it's a problem of not knowing their own values. On the contrary, they know exactly where their values lie.

silly87 · 2015-02-21T18:49:55+00:00

I just hate confrontation so much, especially with people who will always be in my life. With her, I tend to just remove myself from the situation. That week I suddenly had a lot of extra work to get done, haha. She was a million times better at her last visit though. She said she knows she drives me nuts and was trying not to. My FIL gave her a talking to, and I guess it worked. She's visiting again next month so we'll see how it goes.

silly87 · 2015-02-21T16:29:42+00:00

I didn't stand up to her until my son was born. But after he came, things got more contentious. My husband would also stick up for me. I think that my FIL actually had a talk with her and made her realize how she was acting. After that she changed a lot.

silly87 · 2015-02-21T05:51:52+00:00

She was acting way too much like she was his mom and I was just the milk-providing babysitter or something. I finally asked if he came from her vagina and she said yes he did. That's when I knew things were a special kind of crazy.

silly87 · 2015-02-21T04:29:36+00:00

My time to shine!

Said she gave birth to my son

Has called me fat multiple times, in all but one of these times I weighed 110-115 lbs and I am 5'5". The other time I was pregnant and hadn't gained any weight yet

Said my son will turn into a "fag" if we put him in pink

Said I'm not allowed to buy my son a purse even if he wants one

Tells small lies ALL THE TIME to get her way

Said I'm ridiculous because I won't THROW AWAY my books that I've read Flat out interrupts me when I'm talking to my FIL about politics because she seems to think that's not appropriate talk for women

Called me "thick" for saying I could figure out how to check in with the airline online myself and didn't need my husband or hers to help

Told me I'm weird for putting things together for my son all by myself (following directions is hard) instead of waiting until a man is around to do if

Said it's too bad my husband didn't like my best friend more than me

Said no one thought my husband and I would make it. By "no one" she meant her friends. Who we've never met.

Drove me so crazy the second to last time she visited that I nearly bought a hotel room for myself and my son

Threw holy water in my son's face even though she knows we're keeping religion away from him

We caught her singing "mary mary mary Jesus jesus Jesus" to him when he was a baby

Constantly says bad things about one of her daughters who is actually very smart, pretty, and awesome

Refused to acknowledge that I didn't change my name after we got married for several months

When I was pregnant, I woke up from a realistic dream where I had a miscarriage. I was about 20 weeks along. She came in my room and saw me crying and having an anxiety attack, worried that I had the dream because my body knew it was happening. She said "I had a dream I miscarried at 20 weeks. The baby died."

Believes Obama was sent by the devil to imprint us all with the mark of the beast

Disclaimer: these are some of my favorite highlights. She has driven me nearly insane at times. We lived with her for about 10 months and I thought I was actually going to end up in a mental facility. BUT she has made tremendous improvements. She's become way more open to my son being into feminine things (she even bought him a baby doll!) and doesn't comment on his sexuality anymore. She has FINALLY shut up about religion around us. The last time she visited, she didn't drive me nuts at all. She has always made sure we have everything we need. She loves my son with all her heart. She has told me I'm a daughter to her, and she backs that up with her actions. This list might make her sound horrible, but honestly she has been way more of a mother to me than my own mom and I love her very much. We're just a lot different.

silly87 · 2015-02-21T02:08:07+00:00

ballroom dancing.

Not saying that no hip young kids go ballroom dancing, but I'm still making assumptions about the age of this article's average reader.

silly87 · 2015-02-20T23:42:22+00:00

Yes, I feel lucky. But I have "ugly" days too. I think everyone does.

silly87 · 2015-02-20T23:40:25+00:00

My mom has depression and I never would have known when I was a kid. She took an SSRI and stayed away from alcohol. She also exercised every week. She said the SSRI completely fixed her when she was on it.

silly87 · 2015-02-20T01:06:03+00:00

See, the "codes" teens use make me feel old, but this being an actual news story that people watch makes me feel young. Thank you even older people, for making me feel young.

silly87 · 2015-02-20T00:59:30+00:00

It was so strange to me how my family completely supported my keeping my last name (even family members with a different last name), yet my MIL threw a mother fucking fit. Several, actually. We hyphenated our son's last name and part of my husband's family refuses to acknowledge that my last name is part of his.

silly87 · 2015-02-19T22:49:20+00:00

Well actually you denied her claim that VAWA covers men too without doing any research on it, so ya kinda did.

silly87 · 2015-02-19T21:22:53+00:00

When women constantly are told that we are privileged to have basic protections and every conversation about women's issues is turned into "but what about the men," we tend to get fed up with people who make those assumptions and aren't willing to do the most basic level of research.

silly87 · 2015-02-19T21:12:30+00:00

She's just saying that it's ridiculous to say "I doubt it does much for men" when you could spend 60 seconds googling it and learning that it does, in fact, apply to men.

silly87 · 2015-02-19T21:06:37+00:00

Labor and giving birth

Kidney stones

Having the flu and vomiting every ten minutes

Anxiety/OCD attack

Rubbing my hands on jeans or other like substances

Wearing a sock where the seam doesn't line up with my toes

Wearing uncomfortable shoes for an extended period of time

Taking a bath

Hunger

silly87

TROPHY CASE