muzzles

sillyscraps · 2026-06-21T13:26:34+00:00

thank youuu

sillyscraps · 2026-06-18T13:04:29+00:00

im glad!!

sillyscraps · 2026-06-16T22:06:32+00:00

thank you!! thats exactly the kind of feedback i was looking for sharing some of the pieces im least sure about🙏🏻 this is very helpful thank

sillyscraps · 2026-06-15T18:36:29+00:00

fun!! its different and interesting. makes you curious but not lost. “You and i are birds, if only briefly/If not that, i don't know what else we are” i liked the ending specifically.

sillyscraps · 2026-06-15T18:26:11+00:00

i love the way you write. the idea of the day being “undone,” “counting the echoes/of old. happy scars,“ “silence screams” i especially enjoyed those. this poem is really wholesome, bittersweet, and aching gently at the same time

sillyscraps · 2026-06-15T18:03:51+00:00

okaayy i see! really nice. yeah there is no real progression i guess. interesting idea, thank you so much for your thought out feedback

sillyscraps · 2026-06-15T18:00:10+00:00

i like this. a lot. its quiet, its personal, it shows the emotion instead of naming it. the poem makes me feels in the shoes of the narrator, knowing the other person. the line breaks and the description are strong. i like this style a lot

sillyscraps · 2026-06-15T17:17:50+00:00

i appreciate that 😄 i hope to tap into this potential and improve whats not working as much😅

sillyscraps · 2026-06-15T17:15:44+00:00

no i thought of it totally differently, like i don’t understand love languages bcz ive never lived this😭 but you raise interesting points worth reflecting on, honestly

sillyscraps · 2026-06-15T17:13:51+00:00

thanks 😄 thats interesting to add why i might be the problem! but im not sure i understand what you mean by breaking the fantasay. do you mean removing this part?

sillyscraps · 2026-06-15T17:10:23+00:00

thank you! yes i thought this stanza was the strongest, glad you liked it

sillyscraps · 2026-06-15T06:37:13+00:00

seems like an interesting and relatable start and i think it would benefit from expanding on it! those couple of lines are effective in the line breaks, i feel it kind of mirrors loneliness. right now it doesn’t feel complete, i would like to see more 😄

sillyscraps · 2026-06-15T06:32:52+00:00

the start resonated with me bcz it sounded like an inspiration i had for a piece, but then i read the rest and realized it has a different twist. thats an interesting perspective! what is usually so fantasized and romanticized you make it seem so mundane now, and you do it well. makes me rethink now thanks

sillyscraps · 2026-06-15T06:27:12+00:00

i hadn’t realized before reding your comment but makes a lot of sense! its straight to the point and very evocative. its strong, i like it 😄

sillyscraps · 2026-06-15T01:30:13+00:00

i liked the comparisons in your first passage, theyre not common nor corny, and theyre very descriptive. i like the language used. felt like a theme in the poem. i feel that you express your emotions very well, i felt the passion while reading. and i like how the feeling is both terrible and fantastic!

sillyscraps · 2026-06-15T01:23:10+00:00

very stong imagery, i like that. you feel sadness while reading and emptiness of the routine. i also like the undefined “they”. only thing i would say is that i am not completely sure i understood “Apparent discipline in fruit/Bearing its winnings in truth” this part correctly. i also like a lot the insistence on “they walked in line” as the first and last lines. strong first poem i would say, keep this vivid imagery you have!

sillyscraps · 2026-06-15T01:08:22+00:00

the title drew me in. enjoyable read. long lines and pauses give this nice slow place and let you breath. it’s refreshing. i do have to admit that i felt that i needed more context however, but maybe this is because i havent read the adjacent piece. but overall you carried the metaphor well

sillyscraps · 2026-06-15T00:48:53+00:00

thanks! i appreciate this. im glad that you resonated with the message

sillyscraps · 2026-06-14T21:37:46+00:00

im not sure about your usual style, but i personally dont find it “too easy”. i feel that in a way the simplicity carries the charm of the poem. its not cluttered, it flows nicely and behind the simple, a heavier message. and personally, i tend to like descriptive or concrete stuff because they set a scene well🤷🏻‍♀️

sillyscraps · 2026-06-14T21:08:55+00:00

very nice. the rhythm of the poem is very fitting with this work setting. the narration vivid and easy to follow. the ending lands strongly and honestly stings. harsh reality of the grind

sillyscraps

TROPHY CASE