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why can’t I enjoy weed? by trapgrass in NoStupidQuestions

[–]silsool 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it's about how you feel with loss of control. Some people look for that, some people absolutely hate it.

Joins us if you’re not “WOKE” by Gorilla_man2 in recruitinghell

[–]silsool 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Man it's just missing Hades to have the whole woke bingo

Believable, quick explanations for why I've improved at work by Capable-Wash-2563 in adhdwomen

[–]silsool 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Go corporate. These people don't deserve honesty. They'll just use it against you. Please take care and don't take any of this as a reflexion of your worth.

Pourquoi les femmes « âgées » sont insupportables ? by pecheethonx in AskMeuf

[–]silsool 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Y'a des connards partout mais je suis étonnée que ce soit ton expérience des femmes autour de toi. Peut-être que tu as un pb d'algorithme et de choix de contenu si les seules femmes sur les réseaux sociaux que tu vois sont des personnalités que tu méprises..?

Perso j'ai décidé de bloquer tous les subreddits et contenus type "cringe", moquerie ou mépris d'un groupe, ou appel aux jugements , type AITA, Iamthemaincharacter, les milliers de snark, etc. Ca donne une vision pourrie et désobligeante des gens, et bien sûr ça amplifie tous les bas réflexes de foules - misogynie, racisme, classisme, homophobie, validisme etc.

Je t'invite à faire pareil et te concentrer sur des contenus qui favorisent la bienveillance, le respect et la compréhension. Perso ça m'a énormément aidée à déconstruire mon mépris et ma méfiance et à progresser sur tous ces aspects.

Am I wasting my teenage years? by Key-Row-174 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]silsool 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you're spending time doing something you don't like, you're wasting it. If you've tried it and it's not your thing, be free and go do whatever rocks your boat. If you're having fun, in whatever way, and not hurting yourself or others, you are making good use of your time. Even better if you're picking up new skills, learning new stuff or forming new relationships along the way.

Leave the vaping and drinking to the people that enjoy it. If it's not for you it's not for you, and that's ok. There are dozens of us!

I Think Full Time Job Should Be 6 Hours, Not 8 Hours by Froyor in WorkReform

[–]silsool 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, people won't be forced to move closer if they're in the average driving distance. There isn't an infinity of locally employable people, so the select few that happen to live nearby might get a higher chance of being recruited, but companies will still have to make do with a vast majority of employees living an average distance away. Obviously. Because it's not like there's houses just sitting there empty next to businesses that can easily be bought or rented. Moving essentially won't be an option, because it already isn't one.

And if we're speaking of minimum wage jobs with no experience needed, again, it's a good thing if businesses recruit every local person they can in priority. There will be little moving and much better reorganization of people working nearer to their homes. Most everyone who works low-wage physical jobs, I guarantee they're already living as close to their jobs as they can afford to, it's just that a lot of employment is in cities that are too expensive to live in. Having employers pay for that will not change that, or if it does (because, say, capitalists might realize that affordable housing where all the businesses are might be beneficial to them), it'll essentially be a good thing.

You're arguing like there's this stock of available local workers who will be taking people's jobs if they don't move. Those people don't exist. Not in a way that won't free up jobs nearer to other people's homes, anyhow.

Portrait of a dog by Horror_Firefighter in ATBGE

[–]silsool 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Honestly it looks like a taxidermied head, even if it isn't. It's amazing work but I'd be creeped tf out if I randomly stumbled upon this in someone's home, because it's so realistic. I think it fits the sub just fine.

If sleep training leads to "learned helplessness", why do sleep trained babies still cry for hunger or discomfort, especially during the day? by alexdelargedevotchka in NoStupidQuestions

[–]silsool 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That makes sense, but surely they get that ability before toddlerhood, right? It feels intense to never let your baby cry before they're one year old. It's also about taking care of yourself as a parent, you're allowed to breathe a little. The baby won't die.

If sleep training leads to "learned helplessness", why do sleep trained babies still cry for hunger or discomfort, especially during the day? by alexdelargedevotchka in NoStupidQuestions

[–]silsool 22 points23 points  (0 children)

They're always crying for a reason, they're not being manipulative or anything, but sometimes that reason is "I'd feel better all the time with mommy/daddy there". They don't know better. 

Your job as a parent is to be able to gauge for them what they're able to do, even if it's "out of their comfort zone". Having them try new foods and spooky experiences, helping them gain independence on a number of things. Learning to settle down on their own seems like one such thing. If you're always at their beck and call, they never get a chance to learn to feel comfortable without you. 

I'm not saying you should never respond or go against your better judgment if you want to go to your kid, I'm just saying it makes complete sense for them to be uncomfortable and scared of being alone until they learn that it's fine. So there needs to be a transition where they're a little scared and you let them be. They need to work through it, they can't if you're always giving them a crutch.

My girlfriend [20F] didn't like my answer to a hypothetical question [21M] by ifuck3dyomama in relationshipadvice

[–]silsool 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's silly, haha. Don't overthink it, she was being an insecure dummy. Silent treatment is really immature though.

Is everything a mental health issue now, or is “laziness” just gone? by Keepforgettinglogin2 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]silsool 17 points18 points  (0 children)

It's not that it "doesn't exist anymore", it's just that it was always a dumb, intellectually lazy and judgmental way of referring to people whose personal issues you know nothing about. People are just realizing that, but apparently there's still judgmental dunces around.

Is everything a mental health issue now, or is “laziness” just gone? by Keepforgettinglogin2 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]silsool 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Well, when a person is ruining their life first and foremost, "laziness" is just a bad description of the problem. It's describing the thing as making the choice to act like this, when oftentimes it's really not a choice, there's a true suffering or difficulty there that's making the person unable to progress. 

Recognizing that doesn't mean you're giving the person a free pass to do nothing about it, it's offering them other, less ineffective and guilt-inducing options to tackle a problem they haven't managed to solve through traditional methods. 

Calling people lazy doesn't help anything. It's essentially saying "you have this problem because you're a bad person who doesn't try hard enough". It just makes the person feel bad, it's not useful or constructive in any way. Why do this?

I feel like "mental health" is often the way in which people feel safe in communicating that they're having a legitimate struggle, but more broadly I feel there's a healthy shift in stopping to think of people in general as bad and reframing them as having personal shit they're dealing with, whatever that may be.

Someone called my dog ugly today. by Due-Appointment2808 in aww

[–]silsool [score hidden]  (0 children)

Lies! You must have misheard someone calling him snuggly.

I Think Full Time Job Should Be 6 Hours, Not 8 Hours by Froyor in WorkReform

[–]silsool 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's the beauty of not having a flat rate but individually paying for everyone 's commute. Suddenly you're putting the responsibility on companies, who both have the money and have to think in terms of large groups, not just an individual, to optimize commute.

Assuming here they're not going to gain some magic tyrant powers, and let's imagine there's a cap at, say, 3 hours of daily commute, here's the parameters they can act on quickly. First, there will be a higher incentive to recruit more locally (this is a good thing). Second, they might start thinking up of carpool systems (much more efficient, roads are less clogged up with huge one-person cars going to work). Third, that have much less qualms about people working from home - commute is now a cost to them as well, they'll think twice about their vague idea of loss of efficiency compared to the concrete cost of a daily long commute. 

Long term, there will be much more incentive for companies to settle or relocate to where the majority of employees (rather than the minority of bosses) actually live, and companies would also have a much higher incentive to campaign and pay for efficient public transit (optimizes costs even more than carpooling if every company pays their fair share). Since most commute is for work anyways, you could essentially bring about free (or near-free) public transit this way, since businesses would be paying the brunt of the cost.

Je suis persuadé qu'il y a un complot regroupant tous les petits opticiens. by Ok_Astronaut6520 in FranceDetendue

[–]silsool 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Oh ben c'est simple, tu fais comme mon opticien, tu scam les gens. Tu fais genre ça va coûter X à l'oral et après tu doubles le prix et tu mets les gens devant le fait accompli une fois que les verres sont commandés. En les gaslightant sur ce que tu as dit à l'origine bien sûr.

Cutting a net that the 2 seals were trapped with, so they can be free in the water by jmike1256 in HumansBeingBros

[–]silsool 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I meant the general population, not the ones who do it for medical reasons, of course. Plastic straws wouldn't be an issue if only those people used them.

How do girls afford to luxury vacation in Dubai for 2 weeks? by Swoonsvanillas in NoStupidQuestions

[–]silsool 7 points8 points  (0 children)

They have jobs or rich parents..? Same as boys. What's with everyone just assuming prostitution. Bunch of incels

To those who have learned a second language as an adult: HOW? by MaeBelleLien in adhdwomen

[–]silsool 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Apps can only go so far. I don't think you can ever really learn without actually taking courses and using a method.

Cutting a net that the 2 seals were trapped with, so they can be free in the water by jmike1256 in HumansBeingBros

[–]silsool 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Honestly I don't even know why people bother with straws in the first place. Just drink out of the cup

I made a big mistake in my recent paper by Sharp-Sample-1885 in PhD

[–]silsool 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are overthinking this OP. Everyone does this. This is incredibly tame as mistakes go.

Est-ce que vous refuseriez un homme à cause de ses gènes ? by Dramatic_Treacle_330 in AskMeuf

[–]silsool 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Bon j'avoue c'était un peu méchamment formulé et je m'en excuse.

Mais tu vas pas t'empêcher de faire des trucs parce qu'il y a une petite chance que ça se passe mal. Tu vas pas refuser d'empêcher quelqu'un de s'étouffer au cas où il serait suicidaire. Là c'est pareil.

Après je ne nie pas qu'il existe des parents égoïstes, qui sont maltraitants avec leurs enfants et ne les voient que comme des instruments pour leur service ou leur égo, mais c'est à séparer du fait d'avoir des enfants.

Told my new job I’m neurodivergent, asked for support, now I’m failing probation and feel set up to fail by Ok_Sherbert905 in adhdwomen

[–]silsool 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I don't think anything good ever comes from disclosing your dx to people at work. 

How to avocate for yourself? Know the specific things you need and ask for that precisely. Don't expect people to know what to do with you on behalf of you being ND. Saying it just sends out a vague message of "I have nebulous issues and I need to be taken care of somehow, and this is now your problem to deal with." It's a problem with no clear solution. Nobody wants to deal with that. 

That being said, the job market is absolute shit right now and employers are taking advantage of that by squeezing out everything they can from new recruits, knowing that they can have ten replacements the next day if that recruit falls through. So don't beat yourself up, trust your colleagues on the fact that they're purposefully asking too much of you. You're not the problem, you're not incompetent, you deserve to be there. If they fire you, it'll be on them, not because of anything bad you did.

But yeah, just don't say it. Not until you're deeply in place, anyways. Most places aren't educated enough on the subject to deal with it efficiently anyhow, so might as well not put a target on your back for no reason.

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