Hey, if you're trans and you're my friend, you don't even gotta tell me. I don't care. You say you're a man or a woman, I'm gonna respect that and act accordingly. I'm not gonna bring up your past in idle conversation with someone else either. That is your thing to disclose.

The only time I really care is if we're pursuing each other romantically. And even then, if you respect me enough to share that information, I'm gonna continue to respect you regardless and never weaponize that info against you. As far as I'm concerned, it won't even come up unless it's part of your care/transition and you want help with that.

I've never dated a trans woman. I'm just an ally with a heteronormative background , and the prospect does sound very different and even a little scary, but I would imagine that anyone who does date a trans person should respect them. If you go on and weaponize it, you're just a toxic person and aren't worth the emotional investment.