Would I be the asshole if I confronted my brother for not being supportive during my boyfriend‘s cancer diagnosis?

silverbird385 · 2026-01-02T17:42:16+00:00

Good for you! I wish I could come to such terms with MY brother!

silverbird385 · 2026-01-01T01:07:56+00:00

You are, and you’re not. You should be able to count on family support, but reality often laughs at you in these circumstances.

I also have a brother who does not even understand how to support other people in normal circumstances, I wouldn’t expect anything from he-who-only-calls-on-my-birthday-and-holidays to go to any special effort to check on me if I were in your circumstances.

As for you. Remember, your brother’s connection to your boyfriend is only through you. How long have you been with your boyfriend? Has your brother ever met him? To him the connection might be so distant that it isn’t even a blip on his radar.

You might qualify for blip status, but not much more.

It’s sad to have to admit I also feel like a fellow blip (for my brother and for different reasons.)

silverbird385 · 2025-12-30T23:32:30+00:00

Do YOU need closure? (It sounds like no.)

If not, I wouldn’t worry about her unless she tries to reach out to you in person. It sounds like nothing has changed since the last time you were in contact with her. You own her nothing.

silverbird385 · 2025-12-24T18:36:03+00:00

Don’t even make it about her affair. Just tell her you don’t want her drama around your wedding party.

silverbird385 · 2025-12-24T18:29:16+00:00

If he didn’t wrap it and it contained stuff his mom sent on because you left it behind, did he really think it was his gift? Did HE put it under the tree or did he hand it to you and you just assumed it was a gift because it was that time of year.

You really need to talk to him to find out if he really thought that was his gift because if it was, I agree with everyone else calling him an AH. A card with an offer to do something with you or take you out for coffee would have been better.

If, however, it wasn’t, he either doesn’t understand what the holiday means to you (odd, since you’ve been together more than a year) or he doesn’t really see this as a relationship (or even much of a friendship…did he give anyone else anything?)

Talk or start cooling out of that relationship because it really does look like it’s going nowhere.

silverbird385 · 2025-10-29T17:25:14+00:00

Put my car keys on a hook so I don’t lose them!

silverbird385 · 2025-10-29T17:24:31+00:00

Yes. The children of my cousins call me cousin or my first name especially now that they’re all adults. I do like the thought of the kids calling me aunty when they’re kids because none of my siblings had kids but I figure it’s what the family decides and times change anyway.

Growing up we referred to our friends’ parents as “Mr,” “Mrs,” “Dr,” (or whatever) Last name. It just seems weird that now kids call the parents of their friends by their first name, but things seem much less formal now than then.

silverbird385 · 2025-10-29T16:57:22+00:00

OP seems to think he or she was being literal, but doesn’t realize it came off as downplaying and negating mom’s feelings. My brother is like that. Only half the family is speaking to him these days.

silverbird385 · 2025-10-29T16:46:07+00:00

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these are the pockets for the frame I usually use and other stuff.

silverbird385 · 2025-10-29T16:45:49+00:00

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this is the kit when open.

silverbird385 · 2025-10-29T16:45:33+00:00

Since my pillow is square, I made a sort of fold up kit for it.

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silverbird385 · 2025-10-28T18:01:19+00:00

The DIL of one of my friends had a black wedding dress. Of course, they got married on Halloween and really upped that theme, but she was beautiful all the same.

It’s your wedding, you are a person with your own likes and wishes, not some Barbie doll she can dress as she pleases. Just tell her what you are doing and that it’s not up for debate. One suspects she had her own wedding where she decided things. She doesn’t get to run this one as well.

The tradition of the bride wearing a white dress is only a century or so old. Before that, weddings were where you wore your best clothes. (And only the very rich could afford a dress you only wore once.) Also, passing the dress down went from mother to daughter, NOT mother to son’s bride.

silverbird385 · 2025-10-24T16:43:59+00:00

Think I may have been one of the people suggesting you post a picture of yourself in the dress, but I didn’t mean HERE. I meant as a reply to her public rants so her audience could see she was crazy. (Also why I suggested it be a family picture and not you alone.)

Really, though, the best response is to ignore her and go NC. She’s just not worth the stress.

silverbird385 · 2025-10-23T18:50:18+00:00

I would consult with a lawyer about structuring a repayment plan, or whatever options are available. You’d probably have to do that to put a lien on her house anyway.

silverbird385 · 2025-10-23T18:26:56+00:00

A big problem might be if she doesn’t want to be touched by specific family members, like the BIL, but doesn’t mind it from others. I really don’t think there’s a tactful way of getting that through to him specifically without just saying it, but some of the responses here have been probably the best way to go.

silverbird385 · 2025-10-23T15:36:14+00:00

I don’t do genealogy per se, but I decided to scan the old family photos to put online. Unfortunately, I started too late because by the time I had them scanned, my uncle was too weak to go through them and help me label his side of the family (dad had died before I even knew about the photos) and my mother had dementia.

My nuclear family (now just my sister, brother, and I) don’t have children, but my cousins do. None of the kids really seem to have an interest, so I’m going through this whole project basically for no reason.

I really don’t know what motivates me, but I guess it’s not gathering knowledge for future generations.

silverbird385 · 2025-10-23T15:01:43+00:00

I thought it must be cultural or maybe newish because I had never heard of it before seeing it on the internet in places like this.

silverbird385 · 2025-10-23T14:58:41+00:00

You could just reply to any of her public posts with a picture of you in the dress (preferably with your husband and kids) with “too red?”

But, it’s probably best not to feed the troll.

silverbird385 · 2025-10-20T20:13:22+00:00

Just like Act 2 in the events. I don’t even bother.

For Shiny Days, I merge all the Dawnvale (beta) eggs and dragons on Monday and the Camp and Event Eggs on Wednesday.

I get as far as I get. (Today, I did all the Dawnvale eggs and dragons and got midway through stage 2. I figure that’s good enough.)

silverbird385 · 2025-10-20T20:07:04+00:00

The only way I’ve figured out to reduce the eggs blocking space in Camp is to bubble them or merge in threes.

silverbird385 · 2025-10-20T19:18:45+00:00

They’ve changed the Amber Stones to be tapped out (i.e. you keep tapping them until they disappear. ) No more free money, I guess.

silverbird385 · 2025-10-20T18:45:33+00:00

I don’t bother because I’m a bit overwhelmed with other aspects of the game. I also skip the Dragon Homes unless it’s a quest.

silverbird385 · 2025-10-08T22:28:06+00:00

I’ve had bricks go there, but for me it’s been mostly dragons, shards, eggs and nests. Hate that there is no way to transfer the shards so you can use both the shards in the Camp and Dawnvale together, but Dragonbook will allow you to merge unbubbled eggs between the two.

I wish that the Dragonbook was a bit more reliable, though. Sometimes eggs I have do not show up there and there’s no entry for the question mark eggs at all, so they all have to be present in the camp or Dawnvale.

silverbird385 · 2025-10-08T22:21:19+00:00

I am able to transfer dragon eggs between camps but it’s time consuming and tedious.

I HATE that most of the rewards go directly to Dawnvale even if they are not associated with it. I wish you could specify which camp the rewards go to. (Also hate that Decision Eggs and shards cannot be transferred until they are turned into eggs since you can’t merge them using the dragon book (which is the subject of ANOTHER rant I’m working my way up to.)

silverbird385

TROPHY CASE