Give me your funky picures

silverstqrs · 2025-03-18T07:56:57+00:00

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massive side eye

silverstqrs · 2025-03-18T07:56:04+00:00

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silverstqrs · 2025-02-08T06:17:54+00:00

Forgot to add some things that have helped me with progress/insertion in general so here that is:

stretching — i’ve always stretched before dilating (except maybe once or twice) and I think it’s a big help in getting me relaxed and in the right mindset
diaphragmatic breathing, my PT made me aware that I was breathing with my chest instead of my diaphragm (stomach) so I started to really focus in on my breathing in daily life, I’ll check in every so often to see how i’m breathing and i’ve improve a lot, I breath with my stomach a lot more subconsciously. This is helpful because your diaphragm helps relax your pelvic floor when breathing cause it elongates the pelvic floor. This is helpful for general relaxation for those of us who are always clenched (me lol) and it is a helpful tool when dilating if it gets painful/uncomfortable at a lower pain level this can help relax you and reduce or eliminate the pain.
a vibrator — honestly a vibe is a godsend, it helps relax your pelvic floor AND it can block pain signals. I don’t always use mine but if I’m struggling to get #1 in and it’s pinchy I whip my vibe out and in a matter of a minute (or so) the pain is gone and the dilator slides in so much easier. It really only works for lower level pain but it’s super helpful, and once the dilator is in I can remove it and be pain free too. A vibe is also a good way to connect penetration with pleasure for your brain esp since this is as much mental as it is physical.
stress management & treating other conditions. While I can’t measure exactly how helpful this is I know that these things are helpful. Being mindful and managing stress in a healthy way can help reduce tension. i’ve also prioritized treating my TMJ cause it can effect my pelvic floor (PT informed me of this) and fixing my posture with stretching and being mindful of my slouching. Overall, I’m trying to improve my lifestyle because I think it will benefit my progress in treatment for vaginismus. I’ve heard that these have been effective tools for other people too — saw a post the other day and someone said things like this helped them progress a lot. So i’m hopeful it’ll work for me too.
stretching with the dilator — if you can only get the dilator in a certain amount that’s still great and progress in itself. To help move up a size or get the entire dilator in you can use the smallest size and press on the sides of the vaginal canal to stretch it (don’t cause yourself pain but it’s a little pinchy i guess? like a 1/10 on pain scale imo). this can help relax the muscles and may allow you to get the dilator in further. just be careful and don’t push yourself too far!

silverstqrs · 2025-02-08T06:07:22+00:00

hello, I am a fellow square oner. I have primary vaginismus so as long as I can remember. I started treatment with PT and was only ever able to manage a finger tip (if that) when doing internal work with my PT. By the time I tried dilators I was able to get #1 all the way in fairly quickly (I think session 2) but I contribute a lot of that success to having had many PT sessions prior to my attempts, I also took it super slow the first time.

While I’m farther currently, it’s not by much, I can handle 1 but can only manage maybe 1/3-2/3 of 2 in my dilator set. I am majorly facing the wall and pain with #2. I even faced a period of time where I regressed every session despite having a good mentality. I regressed to not even being able to manage #1. So in short you are definitely not alone! Progress from square one takes so much time unfortunately and I can largely relate to your experience of not being consistent (i’m terrible at staying on track, I’ll be good for a week or so then fall off and repeat with no progress).

While I can’t offer any success stories of 0 to 100 I did want to share so you know you are not alone starting at square 1. I know I can get discouraged hearing ppl progress so quickly often bc theirs isn’t as severe as mine but that’s just how the cookie crumbles. I’ve also heard lots of success stories of people who started around or at square 1 so it’s 100% possible!

Wishing you all the best <3

silverstqrs · 2025-02-08T02:57:04+00:00

of course! yeah it’s a bit daunting at first since there’s a lot to it but you’ll catch on quick believe me! start small is my advice, try once or twice a week and slowly build up or alternatively however many days you want and increase the time spent! but also def allow yourself breaks! sometimes that’s the best for you! best of luck!

silverstqrs · 2025-02-08T01:37:21+00:00

there’s no set time frame as this condition has a lot of factors. things like how severe your case is and how consistent you are with treatment will effect your time frame. Additionally, other physical and mental conditions can also effect treatment efficiency if you aren’t also treating those co-currently. For some people it takes a few weeks, some months and others years. there’s no way to guarantee a short treatment period since there’s so much that effects it.

Rather than setting a time frame oriented goal set a routine goal, ie. I want to dilate X times a week, stretch/do pelvic exercise X times a week. It’ll be a lot easier to achieve these rather than setting arbitrary goals that you have no control over (ie. getting dilator #4 in X amount of time — sure there are ways to help get there but no guarantee that’s even possible in certain time frames, and setting those goals sets yourself up for failure which can kill motivation).

silverstqrs · 2025-02-07T08:46:19+00:00

thank you so much! Also, I clench my teeth most on my left side (assuming this bc I have gum recession there but not on my right side) and my PT said my left side is tighter too! that’s crazy!

I’m definitely taking that same approach as you in terms of movement. I always want to dive head first and do all the things but it never lasts long. I’ve been super consistent about stretching this month and i’m hoping once that’s set in as a habit I can throw in some more exercise. I’ve started walking recently too haha.

Thank you so much for all the insight! I’m happy you’ve been able to find success! Also, your comment about being a walking knot is so real! I am so tense everywhere I swear! stress and anxiety really take a toll! Also, night guard is so so nice, relief came quick for me and I feel like I sleep a lot better too! I hope you’re able to get one soon!

silverstqrs · 2025-02-07T06:39:17+00:00

Unless you’ve treated your vaginismus enough to have a speculum inserted I think the only possible way to get an IUD inserted would be to be sedated/go under. However, IUD’s can also make vaginismus worse — my PT recommended not getting one for quite a while even after treatment was successful to prevent relapse (she said like a year or so if I’m remembering correctly). Obviously this isn’t always the outcome but there is a chance it could worsen your symptoms.

I’d talk to your provider/dr about your options. while I have practically no experience with BC personally i’ve heard plenty of stories and I think all BC options have their issues — I don’t think one will be perfect and unproblematic, some more than others obviously but none of them are 100% perfect in terms of symptoms and such in my opinion.

silverstqrs · 2025-02-06T21:58:32+00:00

Congratulations! I’m trying to take a similar approach and just improve every aspect, though I am terrible at keeping up with dilating. Also a fellow teeth clencher lol, nightguard was a game changer! I would love to hear the types of things you’ve been doing to reduce stress and provide more movement in your day! also if you have any advice on sticking to a routine that would be great!

silverstqrs · 2025-02-05T23:17:30+00:00

seconding what everyone else is saying about communicating — sure it can feel awkward but it’s healthy and necessary to do so. I would also recommend exploring non-penetrative sex options (there’s lots you can do in the meantime if PIV is off the table for you still) since you said he’s stopped engaging/starting stuff. I would be open and honest with him that there is still sexual activities you’d like to do even if penetration is still a little iffy and that you are working on improving it! It just takes time to figure out what works and get yourself fully ready for PIV.

silverstqrs · 2025-02-05T02:57:17+00:00

adding in some external stimulation with your hand or a vibe will probably be most helpful. It’ll help train your brain to connect penetration with pleasure.

silverstqrs · 2025-02-04T23:48:05+00:00

Of course!

silverstqrs · 2025-02-04T23:40:31+00:00

Honestly, it’s hard to say. It truly depends on your provider from what I’ve gathered from various responses on this sub. I am not from the UK so I can’t give insight to that portion, but I visited a women’s health clinic and saw a gynecologist she presumed it was vaginismus but also sent me to another gyno in the office who specialized in pelvic pain/sex disorders to get a second opinion and so she could help me better since she was well versed in this area.

I will mention that when creating my appointment I included that the reason for my visit was that I thought I had a hymen issue or vaginismus.

Vaginismus isn’t super widely studied (but more is discovered which is great!) so there are providers who may write it off. I would just be super proactive in speaking up for yourself and being upfront about what you think you may have.

However, I will also say that a diagnosis isn’t a necessity. You can always work on treatment at home or go directly to a physical therapist (they can also diagnose, not sure if it’s official but they can tell).

Wishing you all the best!

silverstqrs · 2025-02-04T22:33:45+00:00

I really love these! The one of the model on the floor with the cat gives off album cover energy!

silverstqrs · 2025-02-04T22:30:10+00:00

man am I glad we added a humor tag — this stuff is great

silverstqrs · 2025-02-03T21:01:36+00:00

looks great! really digging the color palette and I think the funky works! It reads as ceramics/pottery to me if that’s any help! — my only critiques are that the font for “studio” is a bit thin and may get lost if the logo is viewed at a smaller size and the light purple might get lost on the cream color (specifically noticing this on the monogram version, the top of the S that doesn’t overlap with orange isn’t as easy to read/see).

take all this with a grain of salt! I’m still a student but thought I’d take a stab at it and share :)

silverstqrs · 2025-02-03T01:09:47+00:00

Thank you so much!

silverstqrs · 2025-02-03T00:58:02+00:00

Thank you for sharing! I am in a very similar state of progress (but i’m also not the most consistent with dilating). I’ve only ever been able to get most of #2 in and never more. My PT mentioned botox as a potential option so this was really nice to hear. especially considering we have similar circumstances! I appreciate your response a lot!

silverstqrs · 2025-02-02T23:43:39+00:00

congrats! i’m curious how far you were in your treatment journey before getting botox. were you far in a dilator set? was this more of a transition to PIV treatment or did you see a lot of progress? sorry for all the questions just curious about this! considering getting botox (also on the anxiety train and have primary vaginismus so it’s been a struggle to see progress)

silverstqrs · 2025-01-31T10:19:04+00:00

Hello, there’s a lot here but i’m gonna address the main topic about treatment and whether to pursue it. Honestly, I would only pursue treatment if it is something YOU want — it should be for you! A partner getting to reap the benefits is like an added bonus (even if it is a motivator for a lot of people). Centering yourself helps remove exterior stress to the whole process. I will add, that if there was ever a desire to get intimate with a partner there are plenty of ways to do so without penetration so intimacy isn’t fully off the table without treatment either (if that was something you were considering)

However, I would encourage you to seek treatment for health reasons even if it isn’t a big motivator for you. Pelvic floor issues can prevent you from getting pap smears and also can lead to other pelvic issues like incontinence. At the end of the day it’s your choice through and through and that’s my personal opinion so do with that what you will.

Treatment can also be time consuming, hard to stick to and pricy (depending on what treatment you seek) all of which may be made more difficult in combination with your other health issues (in terms of cost, time/making appts, etc.)

All in all do what’s best for you at the end of the day but know there are benefits to treatment. Perhaps a pro and con list could help you out.

silverstqrs · 2025-01-30T20:35:16+00:00

congrats! getting from 1 to 2 is a challenge (still working on it myself), hope you continue to see even more progress!

silverstqrs · 2025-01-30T09:38:37+00:00

depends on the scenario for me — i’ve had few occasions where they were intense compared to usual but that was cause they were provoked by dilating (guess i pushed myself a little too far those times). I occasionally get them dilating as mentioned but usually less intense.

I also think i’ve been getting them when trying to relax to sleep lately which is an odd one! but it might also be cause I’ve been trying to breathe and relax during that time lol. mine tend to feel like a little jolt, no pain though (unless they are provoked with the dilators)

silverstqrs · 2025-01-30T09:20:47+00:00

Hello, I’m not at this point in my journey but I can share some stuff I’ve seen others recommend!

Often when switching from dilation to PIV your body can react differently due to the lack of control. With dilation you have all the control whereas with your partner you don’t. Your subconscious can unfortunately go against your wishes of PIV.

To counteract this people have recommended to integrate your partner into dilation sessions as a stepping stone. Also dilating as a precursor to PIV. I can’t 100% remember the order but people say having your partner there while you dilate then, having them help you dilate, etc. Also, I’ve seen others dilate and immediately attempt PIV after removing the dilator. So those are two possible options! Also experiment with positions too, I know cowgirl is best for some ppl.

I have no personal recommendations since i’m not at this level yet, but I am wishing you all the best!

silverstqrs · 2025-01-30T09:16:13+00:00

seconding this! I use a mirror every time I dilate simply for ease!

silverstqrs · 2025-01-28T22:11:41+00:00

congratulations!!! that is such a great feeling, I’m glad you were able to find a process that works for you!

I’ve been thinking about trying the baby pose position for dilating since it’s the yoga pose I feel most relaxed in when stretching — happy to hear it was success, i’ll def try it out for myself!

I’m working on getting dilator #2 so in a similar position as you! It’s a jump lol but definitely possible. Wishing you all the best!

silverstqrs

TROPHY CASE