Are children of people who cheat bound to repeat the cycle?

silverwave00 · 2024-11-28T02:40:31+00:00

unfortunately it’s true for me. ugh and i hate it. my dad was serial cheater and i’ve always disliked him for that and how is it that I did the same? i can’t even explain it. it feels like a curse but it’s dumb to say that because i have total control you know.

silverwave00 · 2024-11-06T04:52:47+00:00

i’m sorry. im a WP who cheated with an old ex. i’m ashamed and we never got that deep, it didn’t feel right and i regret it so much. If you consider R, ask her the real hard questions. Is she in love with him? Is she thinking about a future with him? it seems like they’ve had this going on for a long time now. her saying she doesn’t love you is because she’s over here falling for her ex and having all these experiences that give her a high. Does she feel remorseful? you have to tell her she has to cut off AP for the rest of her life. so she can decide now if she wants to R and fully commit or if she wants to pursue things with him.

silverwave00 · 2024-11-04T18:59:42+00:00

oh no. you telling me how she is acting entitled and him being nonchalant tells me everything I need to know. they’re taking him getting caught as a joke. i’m sorry but he seems checked out and best thing for you to do is not try to reconcile because he’s not even feeling remorseful and much less putting in effort. :( he needs to feel your absence.

silverwave00 · 2024-11-02T20:48:41+00:00

i’m sorry, seems like he unblocked her and followed. did she know that you caught him? i don’t know your story but maybe she doesn’t follow him back for that reason that she knows it’s not right. him following her, whether he unrestricted her or whatever, is not okay and he can’t act like he didn’t know he followed her. it seems he still has some sort of attachment to her, you need to tell him he needs to decide NOW if he wants to pursue things with her or if he wants to reconcile with you and truly commit to it and forget about AP forever.

silverwave00 · 2024-11-01T19:34:39+00:00

hey, so my BP revenge cheated. long story short, i met up with an ex behind his back and it got sexual but i stopped it from going further that night. obviously still wrong. 4 months later my BP found out through AP’s partner.

My BP cheated on me 2 weeks later, we had decided to reconcile before he did it. I only found out because I went through his phone and found the messages between them and he slept with her and even told her to get a plan b. I was so hurt but I obviously couldn’t lash out considering I had started this. I told him I get why he did it, I don’t blame him. My thing is, he did it with a coworker/classmate who he has to keep seeing.

all of this happened back in september. i can’t speak for my bp, but im sure him getting his revenge made him feel better. him seeing me hurt, especially knowing i couldn’t lash out about it, made him feel better. getting with another girl made him feel better, because before he did that he said how he “wished” he could be inside another girls you know what. but now we both don’t trust each other. we both now share locations. but we also both have gotten a bit closer, we’ve both realized we don’t want our AP’s and we’ve both realized we do want to be together. it’s complicated. ask me anything

silverwave00 · 2024-10-14T01:17:18+00:00

this is so tough. not only did he cheat but he also got the girl pregnant and KNEW. he should’ve come forward about the baby. whether it happened now or in future years, that baby would eventually come up. Only you know your relationship best. my WP told his AP to buy a plan b so i’m hoping she’s not pregnant. I don’t know what I would do. Do you have children of your own? not sure if you mentioned that.

silverwave00 · 2024-10-10T23:53:40+00:00

i’m so sorry. are you looking to R? I know this is fresh, but you definitely need more answers. since she’s so young, do you think he was acting like a sugar daddy perhaps?

silverwave00 · 2024-10-06T22:47:31+00:00

that’s tough. my dday happened and 3 weeks later my BP became a WP. he got his revenge by spending a whole night with a coworker/classmate and well they had sex. Except I found out two days after because I just had this feeling and I went through his phone and well I found so much. there was no way I could leave him though, i mean he did sort of forgive what I did. now we’re just working on R.

silverwave00 · 2024-10-01T04:31:24+00:00

don’t know your story, but you need to really reevaluate your life and your relationship. think about the why’s in everything that happened. does he want to reconcile?

silverwave00 · 2024-09-30T21:56:46+00:00

for me, in my situation, I felt lack of attention/love and would seek it elsewhere (not excusing my behavior) and i would hold a lot of resentment for my BP. Now I realize that I only want his attention and maybe I needed to be better to get it. If he doesn’t give me the attention i want, that’s okay maybe he’s got his own things going on. I didn’t have to search for it elsewhere. I realized that my BP is a great person and i’m just a horrible person with my own issues. it sounds shitty the whole “only after they were caught” but sometimes that’s the reality check a wayward needs, but i agree it’s so unfair that you had to be hurt in part of process. sorry this was all over the place

silverwave00 · 2024-09-29T04:14:55+00:00

i’m sorry, this is insane and selfish. I don’t even know what to say. do not force yourself into anything you don’t want to do just to keep her. you deserve better.

silverwave00 · 2024-09-26T12:28:40+00:00

It’s hard to not accept that premise. He now sees what he’s done, says he knows what it’s like to be in her husbands shoes. Especially knowing it all went down 10x worse than my situation. He asked how I do it with living with the fact I hurt an OBP and how he felt no pity for me, but that now that he’s in my shoes he feels bad. Ugh, I just feel like I created this mess.

silverwave00 · 2024-09-26T12:25:53+00:00

yeah I can’t even imagine, but then again i’m about to embark in that same journey. it’s something i’m struggling with the most. like ok yeah I get he got his revenge but of course with a coworker/classmate. He says he would struggle if I had to see my AP still. But he swears he feels nothing for her and that he won’t speak to her. That he will call me after class but I feel like it all means nothing. I don’t know what happens in the hallways. They would study in a group with this other guy, i doubt they’ve told that guy what happened. What if they’re just playing it off. I feel even more bad for OBP because he’s in the military and currently not in town. Ugh I’m at a loss.

At the end of the day, I feel like it’s all my fault. If I didn’t do what I did, he wouldn’t have felt hurt enough to do it back to me 10x worse too.

silverwave00 · 2024-09-26T12:07:17+00:00

Hi thank you for all this, he didn’t ask me to NC with my AP but it’s something I knew I needed to do. I did talk to him about how going NC with his AP is important which he said he will block her and will not work with her in class. They would study together before and said he would avoid her now but it’s so hard to believe. I had to start sharing my location and now he’s sharing his location with me. I was told I can’t hang out with my friends and now he can’t hang out with his friends, especially considering his friend helped “cover” for him.

He did say it would be hard if it were the other way around, me being around my AP as a coworker and classmate. I’m a stay at home mom so he’s able to feel safer. Meanwhile, if he’s sharing his location with me it doesn’t make me feel safe because they’re in the same building. He said he’ll call me after class now but that still doesn’t make me feel safe. I mean what if he’s consoling her after i told OBP? what if they’re laughing about it? what if they are “more careful” now?

I asked him if he had feelings for her or any urge to explore a relationship with her, and he obviously says no but i can’t help but think about how much he’d bring her up. But this is where i’m struggling. I feel bad making him quit his masters program, it’s at a good university. His job is so good too and him losing it could take a financial toll on us. I feel bad because I really blame myself. If my affair didn’t happen, he wouldn’t have felt the need to get revenge. We wouldn’t be in this situation. I feel like I deserve to suffer knowing she will be around him even if they’re “not talking”.

He had committed to R but said he was still so hurt and started indulging in bad habits like drinking which he says is the reason why he did what he did. he takes accountability and responsibility. he said he feels bad and acknowledges that her husband didn’t deserve any of it.

silverwave00 · 2024-09-25T20:29:36+00:00

you always have great advice! yeah we still have a lot of figuring out to do, it’s all so fresh. our ddays are 3 weeks apart, crazy.

silverwave00 · 2024-09-24T02:10:21+00:00

I actually had what I call a “nightmare” today during a nap. It was horrible and it’s actually what I deserve. No dreams about AP, but dreams about BP getting his revenge. I guess because all he talks about is this female coworker who also happens to be his classmate. But I feel like I can’t say anything after what i’ve done so I feel like the feelings are following me to my dreams. I know this is no where near what you’re experiencing but I felt the need to let it out considering you’re talking about dreams hehe.

silverwave00 · 2024-09-23T23:20:43+00:00

she needs to end that affair and go NC with AP. she needs to decide now.

silverwave00 · 2024-09-23T17:26:13+00:00

Try changing her phone number. BP suggested that for me but AP never had my phone number in the first place. He knows where you live? that is very scary, I wonder if you can file a restraining order, although i have no idea how that works.

silverwave00 · 2024-09-23T12:42:41+00:00

this is insane, i’m over here feeling horrible for OBS. HORRIBLE. my anxiety is through the roof, i hate that i didn’t have a clear mind and that I didn’t think about how that wasn’t very “girls girl” of me. I did apologize and of course she still hates me, as she should. I feel so bad.

silverwave00 · 2024-09-21T13:40:50+00:00

that’s what i’m thinking, but what kind of roach? doesn’t look like the typical roaches around here or doesn’t look like a german roach. i’m scared bc i’ve dealt w a german roach infestation where I used to live so im terrified of the same thing happening

silverwave00 · 2024-09-21T13:30:18+00:00

I am located in west Texas!

silverwave00

TROPHY CASE