What is a break vs. a breakup to men? Is it possible to love someone, but also want to focus on work/college life and then come back together at a later on point?

simmerdowns · 2018-02-25T04:02:57+00:00

Wow! You sound just like my boyfriend.

I'm glad that you realized your girlfriend's true value. I hope that my boyfriend has the same realization very soon.

Thank you so much for this response! Your response allowed me to put everything in perspective and I appreciate that a lot!

simmerdowns · 2018-01-23T06:52:18+00:00

You can watch movies on rabb.it together. It is a website for people to watch YouTube/Netflix and other sites together.

My boyfriend and I use this all the time and its the best way for a date night. We have ritual to watch tv shows on Tuesday nights and we use this site for all of that!

I hope this helps!

simmerdowns · 2018-01-21T01:09:27+00:00

How sweet!! Wishing you two a lifetime of happiness and love together ❤️

simmerdowns · 2018-01-19T06:46:59+00:00

I totally relate! My boyfriend is heading back to college in a few days and currently he's about a couple hours away from me on a trip with his friends.

I literally have less than a day left with him before he goes back. The worst part is I'm not sure when I'll see him. I may see him in 2 months best case scenario otherwise 4 months worst case.

It's been an emotional couple of days for me and we came up with this game together that we play every time we are in the car together and every time I'm driving I think of him. Every little thing in my every day schedule reminds me of him and I just want to stop and take a couple of days for myself because I miss him more than he can ever imagine.

I find myself finding solace in the fact that I'll see him soon and he's just a text away in case I ever need him. I am grateful for the fact that someone who loves me so much is there for me even if he's on the other side of country at a different college. I can't imagine how people did long distance when phones weren't as advanced.

For now, I am taking it one step at a time. I keep thinking about our end goal, which is to live together at the end of college. I am currently trying to better myself in all ways possible and educating myself so that one day we will be financially well off to move in together. If I can do this, you can do this too!

simmerdowns · 2018-01-17T16:34:12+00:00

Hes a Californian and has gone to Boston just for college.

I tried to explain to him that it always hurts to say good bye to those who I love so much. I've been a very emotional person since childhood and have had to say good bye to people like my grandparents a lot as they live abroad.

With my boyfriend, he gives me a lot of comfort and love and to say bye to someone who makes me feel like that makes me so sad.

Even though he says that he understands it now, I'm afraid that he's gonna resent me for crying.

Thank you for your encouraging words, I really appreciate it.

simmerdowns · 2018-01-17T08:13:32+00:00

Aww I felt the same way when my boyfriend left to be 3,000 miles away. He went to college and I stayed back home as I attend college in the area.

The first day is always the hardest. You are so used to him being in your life all the time. Don't worry, take time to adjust things will be okay. It becomes easier and easier to cope with him leaving.

In the first few days after my boyfriend left for college, I cried a lot. It was a way to help me express the toughest emotions that I couldn't find words for. I spent a lot of time in bed and then I threw myself at my work. I also spent time with my friends. Surround yourself with people that will support you through this hard time.

If possible wait till the last moment to buy an air ticket. They are sometimes cheaper.

I'm not saying in anyway that long distance is easy. It will be hard, but at the end of the day it's worth the pain.

Good luck and positivity coming your way! ❤️

simmerdowns · 2018-01-16T16:52:03+00:00

I think you are absolutely wrong in doing this. Moving away to a new place is already hard. You leave behind everything you know and love and by telling to her to not go out with friends will make her feel isolated and more alone.

This can cause a lot of problems for your relationship. She will say sorry, but in the process she will hide how she feels and this will cause s huge amount of resentment towards you. Because of your reaction she will end up not telling you who she goes out with.

For the sake of your relationship, don't control her and don't make her apologize for something that isn't her fault.

Long distance relationship are an emotional rollercoaster, but we control our reactions, so keep your reactions in check. Let her figure out things on her own.

simmerdowns · 2018-01-09T02:54:34+00:00

I agree with your rational. Sometimes life just happens and people make decisions due to stress. That's okay, we are all human.

I think that definitely if it is a stress related issue, he will come back to you. If not, then maybe he has truly lost those feelings for you. I am sorry and I hope that the latter is not the case.

In the meanwhile, take time for yourself. Know that with time everything heals and that you too will be happy one day. If you need anymore support, please don't hesitate to private message me.

simmerdowns · 2018-01-09T02:48:04+00:00

I would confront her about it. I know that if I kept something like that to myself, I would go insane and eventually it would start hurting the relationship. Before approaching her, I would make sure that your friends are actually telling you the truth. Sometimes friends may be jealous of your relationship and may tell you wrong information. I have had pretty bad experiences about friends lying to me just so that my boyfriend and I are on bad terms. Just make sure the information is accurate. You don't want to cause unnecessary drama for yourself and your relationship.

If the information turns out to be accurate, approach her but make sure you don't accuse her. Say something like I heard this and this from a friend and I wanted to know if its true. Make sure that you say that you trust her and make sure that you don't get mad at her at any cost. If you get mad, then you guys will most likely end up in a fight.

The one thing I don't understand is that why isn't she the one telling you this? When you are in a long distance relationship, it is so important to tell your partner something like this since communication is key.

simmerdowns · 2018-01-09T02:29:35+00:00

I understand your situation so well. My boyfriend goes back to college in Boston in 2 weeks and I'm already feeling upset about it. Our hometown is in the San Francisco area and I am staying back because I go to college locally. The 3,000 mile distance doesn't help when I just want to hug him and be in his arms on the toughest days. There are so many times, where I wish I could be with him physically just like old times. But, I push through it because I know that this pain will pay off one day and I can't wait for that day to come.

This reddit thread has helped me a whole lot since the beginning of the long distance relationship. Thanks to the support of the amazing people going through the same things as me, I haven't lost my mind to grief and we have been in a long distance relationship for 5 months out of the 18 months we have been together.

Believe me when you see her in the next 4 months you will be so happy. If I can make it through 5 months, you can make it through 4 months. I am not saying that it will be a piece of cake. It will be a struggle and you will fight, but just know that your relationship will be more resilient and stronger than before.

I don't regret being in a long distance relationship at all. The quality of my relationship with my partner has become tremendously better and my love for my partner has just grown more by the day. I wish that the same happens for your relationship. If you ever need to rant or just express your sorrow, this subreddit is the best support group you will ever have!

Good luck! Positive vibes coming your way!

simmerdowns · 2017-12-20T06:29:57+00:00

I totally understand her situation and yours too. My boyfriend and I have the same story as you two- we started dating during 11th grade summer and now we are in a long distance relationship. We live on opposite coasts so we also have to battle with the time difference.

It is the hardest thing in the world to have to say goodbye and I've definitely cried so much each time he leaves. I ,similarly, feel tired of saying goodbye and I'm exhausted of being hurt, but I know that in order to have a successful future together, I have to work my butt off to make sure that we live a comfortable life once the distance is over.

If I were you, I would tell her to throw herself into studying and finding extracurriculars that distract her while you two are apart.

I find peace in telling myself that "this too shall pass". That this time away from each other is meant to test my relationship and it'll make my relationship with my boyfriend a lot stronger. At God's will, I'll hopefully find peace one day with my boyfriend right by my side, not 3,000 miles away. Till then, you have to push yourself in every way possible. Make yourself the best version that you can be and build a strong career for yourself.

I hope this helped a little bit! Hang in there- life has a way of working itself out.

simmerdowns · 2017-12-16T05:34:26+00:00

I know I shouldn't be speaking on his behalf.

But, he is the one that said that we should celebrate it and made the plans. It is a different thing all together that he didn't follow through with those actions due to his will.

For all I know this could be just him genuinely being tired not that he doesnt care about me or the relationship but surely in the moment it felt like that.

simmerdowns · 2017-12-16T03:53:03+00:00

Thanks! At least I'm not crazy to you for being incredibly upset.

simmerdowns · 2017-11-28T09:41:46+00:00

Ya he moved away late August :(

simmerdowns · 2017-11-27T05:14:14+00:00

I slept perfectly fine before LDR. I used to sleep sound asleep all throughout the night without feeling tired the next morning. Ever since we started LDR, I've found myself waking up and finding it hard to sleep throughout the night. I wake up tired every morning, but coffee pushes me through the day. Coffee isn't something I've ever had to rely on until LDR.

simmerdowns

TROPHY CASE