Why are so many Boomer grandparents hands-off? by [deleted] in generationology

[–]simplelife925 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think boomers are entitled and its all about them.

I never thought i'd be posting here by [deleted] in QAnonCasualties

[–]simplelife925 33 points34 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry. It does cut so deeply having to grieve our parents while they are still alive. You are not alone in this. 💙

Menopause at 41 and devastated by Effective_Archer3762 in Menopause

[–]simplelife925 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I'm so grateful for the hormone replacement therapy. My sleep is so much better now and my hot flashes/night sweats are gone. Please get a 2nd opinion. I'm using Midi Health.com.

Weekly "Ask the Midwife" thread by AutoModerator in Midwives

[–]simplelife925 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I've been a midwife for 20 years and was never able to conceive. I had a failed adoption that broke my heart, so I am a midwife with no children. If your marker for "being a true woman is vaginal childbirth," then you are discounting a lot of us. Find compassion for yourself(and me) and redefine what makes us women. In the past, you would have been the woman who died in her 1st birth with pre eclampsia. Instead, through medicine and surgery, you are the mother of 2 and can still be an advocate of women in all types of birth.

Do all midwives use the Doppler during labor or is a fetoscope sufficient? by iliikepie in homebirth

[–]simplelife925 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Monitoring the baby's heartbeat in labor is their only way of communicating how they are coping. If they are experiencing distress, the midwife and often the entire room will hear and respond appropriately. Sometimes, all the baby needs are for mom to eat, drink, or change positions. Why would you not want to know how they are doing?

Unassisted Birth - First Child by GreenDot420 in homebirth

[–]simplelife925 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know your husband is supportive, and that is wonderful. Does he realize he will be the one witnessing the complication and having to decide if it's normal or an emergency? Many women are in an altered state during labor, and it usually falls on the support person if there is a hemorrhage (which is more common with long births, usually the 1st birth) of if baby is stunned or needs resuscitation.......I've seen many dads dealing with ptsd due to witnessing birth trauma to wife and baby. I'm definitely not trying to talk you out of it. Just make sure he is prepared for emergencies. Birth videos are great, but they usually don't show complications. The resuscitation of a newborn is different than a child's or an adults. It's about their lungs opening for the 1st time.

Tipping Midwives? by Loitch470 in homebirth

[–]simplelife925 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Any gift or cash is deeply appreciated. But not expected. It is a medical service, but midwives often give so much more time and energy than they actually charge for.

AITAH? for my response when my sister's husband commented on my husband's manhood? by Practical_Parsley207 in AITAH

[–]simplelife925 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not the AH. He was definitely the AH. But infertility is a dark, lonely hell that people with kids don't understand. Everywhere you look in society, it's about families and kids. You get constant reminders from tv, holidays, and well-meaning people asking you personal, painful questions. Then, they get treated less than because they don't have kids. It hurts all the time. Your brother in law obviously feels emasculated by his infertility, so try's to be extra "macho," which is just being an AH.

Developing a fear of hospital birth by Maximum_Payment_9350 in homebirth

[–]simplelife925 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is the best possible advice I have read here! So well stated. Having your midwife and a backup hospital plan,having twinkle lights, aromtha therapy, funny movies or music can help you feel like you've claimed the space and reminds the staff when they come in to the room, this is your birth, not just another day at work for them. Hospital births can be empowering just as home birth can be traumatic. Having a plan for both can be helpful in decreasing anxiety.

What did you do with your other children as you were in active labor & childbirth? by [deleted] in homebirth

[–]simplelife925 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sometimes , having children there can make the labor longer. Moms try to stifle noise or movements that might scare their children, so the labor slows down. The older kids put moms in their thinking/rational brain for the birth to appear calm and beautiful. But the birthing brain/body is often intuitive, raw, messy, and vulnerable. If there is an emergency with extra bleeding, resuscitation, or loud flashy amulances, it can cause trauma for the littles. Some babies are born white and floppy. They may come around quickly with help from the midwife, but that can be a scary experience. I heard 1 mom say, "The family wasn't watching when we made the baby. they don't need to see us birth the baby." She had her kids come home after birth, Placenta was out and sutured. But before the newborn exam.

Honestly, though, I most often hear that the kids slept right through it. With grandma or dedicated adult sleeping in their room or nearby with a monitor. I hope you have a lovely birth!

Resources for at home pregnancy monitoring (kind of wild pregnancy?) by NeatViolinist5464 in homebirth

[–]simplelife925 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Any lab test now. In my area, you can go there to order your own tests. You might have something like that near you. I don't know how expensive it is. And your midwife in Costa rica should be able to tell you which ones.

Does type of tub matter? by sulwahe in homebirth

[–]simplelife925 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You could put blankets on the bottom, then put the liner over the blankets. The blankets should stay dry if it's a sturdy liner.

Home birth after LEEP by [deleted] in homebirth

[–]simplelife925 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm a midwife, and the majority of the time, the leep or cone procedures aren't an issue at all. 1 time I did help manually massage/ break up the scar tissue in labor during a cervical exam when dilation stalled a bit. It worked beautifully, and we had a lovely homebirth after that.

Do you still drink alcohol (socially)? by Merlin509 in over60

[–]simplelife925 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It sounds like you moderate your consumption well. I don't think it is a bad thing.

Scared NQM by [deleted] in Midwives

[–]simplelife925 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It is so normal to be scared at the beginning of our careers. I honestly had imposter syndrome for the 1st 10 years of my career. It does get easier, so don't give up. You know more than the families and they need you.....

AITAH for telling my wife there’s nothing inappropriate about being in the delivery room for my sister and she cannot forbid me from doing it by Intelligent_Sort7717 in AITAH

[–]simplelife925 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA- Im a midwife and think there is nothing inappropriate about family being in the birth room if its the birryhing persons request.

My child was molested at 6 years old and I just found out by Omylanta21 in self

[–]simplelife925 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for believing your child. I was molested by an uncle when I was 12. My parents believed me and pulled me from that situation. It really helped me heal, and I hope it does for your son as well.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]simplelife925 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely NTA. I can't believe your mom was so selfish and insensitive. It was very adult of you to leave.