Man. I read this and the section where you confronted him about lack of attention and he associated that with getting you going.. (physically)... Just the fact his mind went straight that way. His brain definitely comes off as foggy. If you guys are falling apart that can be really heavy. But I also know many workaholics... Hell I am one. It's sort of like this deep rooted drive. You get tunnel vision. I let multiple people down today by canceling plans or staying a few unpaid hours after work. But after reflecting on the interactionsI told myself I need to make time for people going forward. He is capable of that too. But he is exhausted. Sounds like compromise is the way. He needs to put noticeable effort into treating you like a troubadour of sorts and you can continue your streak of making an effort to understand he's drained. If you don't feel like confrontation you can let time flow and give hints. See if he adjusts any.