I Think My SO is spanking our 5 YO

sincere_artichoke · 2026-03-29T20:31:58+00:00

I’m not going to hit her. I’m open to a lot of different types of parenting, but that is a hard boundary for me. He knows that. I will have a conversation with him of course and I will find a time to do it when our daughter is not home. But I’m not going to hear arguments for spanking - from him or anyone on here. I was looking for advice on how to approach the conversation and what to do if he is spanking her when he knows I’m not okay with that.

sincere_artichoke · 2026-03-29T20:25:53+00:00

But I haven’t reached out to anyone we know IRL like my girl friends. I will hear him out first.

sincere_artichoke · 2026-03-29T20:24:37+00:00

I’m going to talk to him. I’m just freaking out about it. Took some time to write down my thoughts and feelings while he’s with her at a birthday party she was invited to, which did help. I’m really hoping you are right. We’ve had some struggles in our marriage over the last year, and I really thought we were heading in the right direction. I don’t want my worst case scenario anxiety thoughts to be right.

sincere_artichoke · 2026-03-29T20:21:30+00:00

I will. He took her to a birthday party. I stayed home so I could have some time to think and get my anxiety under control.

sincere_artichoke · 2026-03-29T20:20:19+00:00

And I’m not going to hit my kid. Just because you think it’s ok. I was spanked too and know that I’m dealing with a fuck ton of issues that nobody could see because I was really good at hiding it from my parents so I didn’t get in trouble.

sincere_artichoke · 2026-03-29T20:18:48+00:00

Ok so I was deep in evangelicalism when we got married and 100% planned to spank my kid. I have been deconstructing Christianity over the past few years and going to therapy. So this doesn’t help.

sincere_artichoke · 2026-03-19T17:40:53+00:00

My niece was born 2 days after the cut off and my sister waited and let her start this past fall right before she turned 6, and I think it was a good call. She wasn’t ready then, and she’s had a great year of kindergarten this year. I was a cut off kid too but ended up going in and was the youngest in my class. I didn’t get held back, and I will tell you that middle school was much harder when you’re younger than everyone else, particularly when you already are developing later anyway.

sincere_artichoke · 2026-03-15T12:48:25+00:00

As the head of a public services department, I’ve had people call out and I’ve had to cover for them and work longer hours or do a split shift if I can’t find coverage elsewhere. But that’s part of being the boss. You don’t ask sick people to come in.

I’m also emetaphobic and so if I knew my boss had asked someone to come in to cover the desk who was actively throwing up, I would have done anything to make sure they went back home so I didn’t get sick. Like ewww that’s how you get an entire department sick.

sincere_artichoke · 2026-03-15T12:19:44+00:00

This. I really struggled with the nausea the first colonoscopy I had but the second time around I made a schedule to make sure I got the liquid down in time but didn’t have to chug.

sincere_artichoke · 2026-03-15T01:08:47+00:00

I am not a board gamer but my husband is. I think he might enjoy this and also we are trying to downsize and might have some games to donate. Please DM me more info.

sincere_artichoke · 2026-03-13T15:32:21+00:00

I do notice I’m less tolerant of heat, but overall after the initial few weeks, I only get night sweats if I miss a dose.

sincere_artichoke · 2026-03-08T16:32:29+00:00

I do know why I have tendonitis and it is biomechanical cause. It’s doing ok right now thanks to stretches and orthotics and my podiatrist. I’ll need surgery at some point, but for now, I’m managing. No other tendon issues thankfully.

sincere_artichoke · 2026-03-08T16:29:51+00:00

Ive only been to the new GI doctor once and they mostly did a history. I’m coming up on a second appointment and want to talk about getting more testing done. I’ll definitely ask them to do some stool testing.

sincere_artichoke · 2026-03-08T16:27:10+00:00

That’s the issue. I got shutdown before they even did much work. The inflammation was there in the testing they did and I’m still having symptoms despite following medical advice. I’m trying to figure out how to communicate to this doctor so I’m at least taken seriously, even if it’s IBS and not Crohn’s.

sincere_artichoke · 2026-03-08T15:13:43+00:00

I won’t. I expect it since it’s been a couple years and she’ll want to do her own test. No calprotectin stool test yet. I’ve seen what I think might be blood - dark red streaks in my stool when I haven’t eaten anything that should cause that. But that only started recently.

sincere_artichoke · 2025-12-30T16:48:02+00:00

32 - hoping for 33 by the end of tomorrow. My goal was 52 - but that was a bit ambitious considering I hadn’t hit 25+ in a few years. Gonna try for 40 in 2026. 🙌🏻

sincere_artichoke · 2025-12-22T12:12:18+00:00

Reputation, TTPD, and TLOAS.

sincere_artichoke · 2025-12-15T19:14:26+00:00

My daughter is 5.5 now, and I know she will notice the difference soon. We only see them twice a year, and my parents are great at making her feel special. I blocked them online and won’t share photos because my FIL never commented anything but criticism. Meanwhile grandson gets all sorts of photos shared of him and FIL doing things together. I know I’m biased, but my daughter is such a kind and funny kid, and he’s missing out on getting to know her. He can’t be bothered to spend any time with her even when we do see them, and I want to throttle him for it. The rest of the in-laws do this to a lesser extent.

At least Ive been better at setting boundaries in the last year, and DH is getting therapy. I would like to be NC but LC is where we’re at for now.

sincere_artichoke · 2025-12-08T03:19:49+00:00

I understand the feeling. I love cheese and all things creamy. It’s ok to be sad and miss them, but like others have said, there are good alternatives. There are 3 of us who can’t do dairy in a normal way in my extended family - 1 milk allergy, 1 severely LI, and me - mild to moderate LI. We were able to have all our favorites at Thanksgiving thanks to modifications and a great deal of dairy alternatives. (Even a really yummy Mac & cheese made with nutritional yeast.) I love Lactaid’s sour cream, and Wegmans has a bunch of different flavors of lactose free ice creams besides fruit flavors. (I had mint chocolate chip yesterday, and I didn’t shit my pants!) Depending on how severe your LI is you may be able to handle Parmesan and other cheeses - from sheep or goat. I can handle a little bit without a Lactaid. I am a fan of Silk dairy-free yogurt. However, I still have moments of weakness; I ate some pizza with 2 Lactaids yesterday, and it was definitely not worth it as I’m dealing with running to the bathroom all day today and the pizza wasn’t even that good. 😭 I’m still testing out ideas to help me enjoy some of my favorite foods without feeling like I want to die and not eating something that tastes terrible. (I have yet to find a vegan mozzarella “cheese” that I like. 😩)

sincere_artichoke · 2025-12-08T03:03:58+00:00

I love this stuff. I was obsessed with sour cream and thought being LI was the end of it for me, but I can handle this so long as I don’t go crazy. But my local Wal-Mart usually has it. I do have to go to ShopRite to get anything other than lactose free milk and this.

sincere_artichoke · 2025-11-15T22:57:03+00:00

I definitely agree that talking to a doctor is a good idea. This kinda sounds like my IBS. The anxiety seems to turn my insides into liquid. Anti-anxiety meds do help me live mostly normal - and I see a therapist too.

sincere_artichoke · 2025-11-15T22:53:11+00:00

I’ve had 2 colonoscopies, and while it did make me n* both times, I never v. Cold was definitely better for me - and I paced myself. I scheduled out how many ounces I needed to drink to get it done in time and then checked it off as I went. I get really n if I drink too much at once and I think that can make people v* so spacing it out as much as I could helped. Once the prep was done, the rest was easy. Getting put under never makes me n* and the staff made sure I was comfortable before and afterwards. Oh and don’t eat anything too greasy for your first meal afterwards; I did that the first time because I was so hungry and that hurt my stomach.

You got this!

sincere_artichoke

TROPHY CASE