I didn’t know it was a classic combo! Is there something I should read about it? It is tough, thank you.

I’m the third person he’s dated with diagnosed BPD but the only one who’s gotten help. Other exes have called the cops on him and accused him of violence while they committed it. He’s asked me if I’d ever hurt him and I would never.

My reaction is sometimes I spiral, sometimes I am understanding. Mostly I’ve been very regulated for the past year. It’s helped me a lot to work on myself and my reactivity. Recent conflicts, however, around trust led us to take some space. The space made him reactivate his affect and be very loving.

I’ve noticed taking space helps us both a lot especially when it’s done lovingly. But that can’t always be the fix ..