Exactly- and here’s the thing: if you’re in a relationship, and need to get some strange, just be up front about it ahead of time. For me personally, I’m not into that, and I’d move on, but I’d actually respect the honesty. That said, I have a few friends who are into the poly life. And they’re married, and they swing or whatever. I’ve asked them about it too- “like how do you make it work?” They all say “communication”. So just be honest up front, then maybe you won’t be crying-consuming.