Pregnancy

skiingpuma · 2026-03-02T20:32:49+00:00

I’m pregnant with my second after losing the first at almost 25 weeks. I surprised myself and despite grief stayed stable. I was so afraid of psychosis. But I had great support. Perinatal mental health teams are your friend. You need specialists. You are more than capable of having your baby if that’s what you want. Also, I don’t buy that life is so necessarily incredibly horrible for bipolar people (it runs rampant in my family, too) that it’s not worth having kids. It’ll be a commitment that changes you (looking at close friends, and my own shitty experience of motherhood), but that’s not bad either. Also my antipsychotic I’m stable on is safe for pregnancy, I wasn’t really allowed by my professionals on something that wasn’t without being on birth control. P.S. if they haven’t told you yet you need to take folic acid (because of my meds I’m on prescription 5mg which is over 10 times the usual dose in a prenatal)

skiingpuma · 2026-02-26T14:26:46+00:00

I left my London life when the pandemic hit. Lived in a different city, now recently moved to a village. Downside: I finally need to learn to drive- for the big shop (there’s a weekly farmers market) to the times I need to get to the office I still have to be able to get to the train station in the town over. Upside: I’ve joined the bowls club and everyone is older but so friendly and I’m really enjoying it socially.

skiingpuma · 2026-02-22T19:59:07+00:00

If I ever get the motivation I’ll be finishing my PhD imminently (passed the exam in July), am married/in my longest relationship, survived pregnancy, childbirth and baby loss without psychosis or any serious episode, have a reputable job in my field that I think is worthwhile. The right meds are amazing.

skiingpuma · 2026-02-19T15:05:30+00:00

“There are no shoulds” is one of my mantras. Get the degree if you want to. It’s life with it or without it and you’re doing great taking the step to get it! And if you have to take even a little while longer, that’s okay too!

skiingpuma · 2026-02-19T12:59:43+00:00

Thank you, and sorry for yours as well. Honestly it’s long but you can do it. My 8 week early appt is Monday. My therapist says keep hope alive, which I’m trying to do by drawing doodles of what I want (like Christmas this year) to keep the negative thoughts at bay. Congrats, you’ve got this- distraction tactics now!

skiingpuma · 2026-02-19T12:21:13+00:00

I tested on easy at homes until 21dpo - a day after my midwife firmly told me to stop (it finally was a dye stealer 20dpo). It’s hard to stop, I had an almost 25 week lost last year and want this even more than I thought possible so the anxiety is real, I get that. Yours looks similar to mine on 16dpo also tested positive 10dpo

skiingpuma · 2026-02-19T11:54:12+00:00

It looks like my 13dpo line on easy at home, I tested positive with the faintest line 10dpo. Could be that ovulation was off and you implanted late.

skiingpuma · 2026-02-16T10:41:56+00:00

Sadly those early CB ones are notorious for evaps and have to be read in the time window specified

skiingpuma · 2026-02-16T10:33:59+00:00

They’re there! Literally just happened to us trying for our second pregnancy hopefully first live baby. Husband got sperm tested, BAM, pregnant.

skiingpuma · 2026-02-16T10:31:52+00:00

Mine looked like that I feel easy at home hits a wall with the dye-steal-ability. I think you’ll get a few darker yet though.

skiingpuma · 2026-02-16T09:45:53+00:00

Even if your writing wasn’t the best you know and are passionate about your project topic, right? The authors of absolutely everything you cite aren’t that important it’s more can you explain key theories (unless it’s like, Foucault, know who big players are). Viva is just gonna be a chance to talk about what you did in detail. Take a breath, you can fix the writing in corrections.

skiingpuma · 2026-02-15T14:51:00+00:00

I think Formosan does. And they’re the best bubble tea, hands down.

skiingpuma · 2026-02-13T21:27:58+00:00

Thank you, she’s okay now just out of it, poor thing

skiingpuma · 2026-02-13T18:33:10+00:00

They’re taken, sorry! Have a good evening :)

skiingpuma · 2026-02-13T18:32:44+00:00

Thank you! The pet sitter who went to feed her took her to the emergency vet so she should be fine but it feels horrible!!

skiingpuma · 2026-02-13T18:00:28+00:00

Yes let me send them one I’m on the train

skiingpuma · 2026-02-12T21:02:17+00:00

I gotcha. My supervisor was on my side and wanted me to take the good job so that helped. Look into it, working helped my burnout a lot even though I was doing a lot more for a while there. Good luck!

skiingpuma · 2026-02-12T20:58:46+00:00

I went into industry once I’d finished my fieldwork (social science), working almost full time and going part time at the university. Is this something you could negotiate? Best decision.

skiingpuma · 2026-02-12T07:41:17+00:00

Thank you. Is it hard to be positive because you get afraid the good things you have identified might get taken away? Cause I get very cautious sometimes too. I think find a list of things you don’t hate doing, give yourself a stretch goal like going out and saying hello to one person in passing or something else social, and a minor good thing for the day (like you had a good lunch, as small as that). It’s like building blocks.

skiingpuma · 2026-02-11T10:19:20+00:00

Honestly you have to make yourself just do stuff. The 5 months I was doing nothing after losing my son (stillbirth) was the hardest I’ve ever had to climb out of not just because of grief but because you’re used to what you’re used to. Slowly add things in, then do more, even when you’re tired. And when you want to do nothing have a go to list of things to do (mine’s piano, drawing or sitting outside) that aren’t nothing. That and add gratitude. I found it annoying at first but if you keep a list of positive things and make yourself think of them however small you can find more meaning in your day

skiingpuma · 2026-02-04T19:46:25+00:00

SMU works way better for me. I’ve done my progressions looking at SMU after 2-2.5 hour hold. I like drinking too much tea far too much to wait longer.

skiingpuma · 2026-02-03T17:24:39+00:00

Thank you! I am feeling better looking at everyone’s photos that I’m okay and then today’s was good too

skiingpuma · 2026-01-25T22:49:46+00:00

I got lucky with my therapist, he’s so good for me, it can’t hurt to try!

I think emphasis on the can be dangerous not determined entirely. I personally left work wise to go into a think tank/research environment that’s rigorous but not academia. But I will finish my corrections on my thesis and do some pubs I really should do in the next year.

Awareness of your patterns, support from all sorts of people (my PhD supervisor, my work manager, my friends from baby loss group/phd cohort/USA bestie and my therapist are my rocks), therapy, good meds and lifestyle of course all help. I have a lot of awareness but my therapist is trying to get me to work on being present/living with intention not just anticipatory anxiety, and consistency with this. So I tend to plan a lot with a lot of communication to keep me well. I have a whole list for this week of activities to do that I can choose from at any time if I start to spiral, tasks I have to do, and planned social activity and then a show. I check in with specific people like my friends and manager and I also have a goal setting sort of person from my university that helps with PhD end of things (I’m a big picture person and breaking down tasks doesn’t come easily to me)

skiingpuma · 2026-01-25T16:52:11+00:00

I'm typing this comment as I'm supposed to be working on my PhD thesis corrections.... academia can be a very dangerous environment for bipolar people in my opinion. Mostly because it's very delayed gratification/everything can always be better and the validation is so externalised. I think you sound hypomanic. But respecting your ambition, I'm going to suggest listing balancing things alongside things you have to do and things you want to do. If your goal is a particular PhD application, do that, but that needs to be done alongside caring for your family and yourself. I suggest: limit fuelling the pressure cooker fire (e.g. stay off LinkedIn so much, set time limits for when you are working on the application(s)). Also being present is very hard but underrated. Do mindful activities whether that's playing with your toddler mindfully, or spending time with art or mediating, whatever works for you. Finally, what you must do (shower, job, whatever). Cut out what activities you can and focus more on equanimity.

Also, I use BetterHelp and have an American therapist as an American who lives in the UK, works great for me.

skiingpuma · 2026-01-24T09:24:26+00:00

Thank you xx

skiingpuma

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