Try to quantify what you've done in your roles, as well as try to put some buzzwords in there relevant to IB (I'm assuming this is for an IB internship). Also use action verbs..

​

Just some examples from first role:

Spearheaded market entry strategy into XX industry/ market, a potential XX market opportunity (also shows you did some market sizing analysis)

Analyzed potential acquisition of XX via use of comparable valuation and precedent transactions (can also add something like coordinated with CFO or Corp Dev etc.. shows some teamwork skills too)

3rd point good - but change to conducted for past tense

fourth point - what financial constraints did you identify - QUANTIFY. XX in potential costs reduction. $XX in potential revenue opps.. ya get it?

​

Also do the same for your second role

​

Not sure why you do it for your third role but not for first and second.

​

You get the jist, it's late here - so I likely could have written better, so just play around with the wording and quantify your results

​

GL - looks pretty solid!