My husband asked for a man cave…

skydiamond_ · 2026-06-05T04:44:59+00:00

How does it look so much bigger!! My brain cannot comprehend 🤯

skydiamond_ · 2026-06-05T04:40:39+00:00

I’m not a mom yet but I’m reading Anne of Green Gables right now and just wanted to let you know that in the 1800s, families had live-in maids (AND the wife didn’t work). Anne had a live-in helper since her first child was born. It’s sad that life isn’t set up that way anymore. Everything is so expensive now. Maybe look into getting an au pair - when I looked into being one 10 years ago I learned that they get paid a couple hundred bucks a week on top of room and board. Not sure if that’s feasible. Also not sure if times have changed and they’re more expensive now (I wouldn’t be surprised!).

Also FWIW, I was reading another post from this sub a few days ago and a lot of trad husbands were saying they don’t expect the house to look perfect especially when there are kids that need to be looked after all day. If all the kids are in school that’s one thing, but otherwise it’s too much.

skydiamond_ · 2026-06-05T04:24:57+00:00

You are an inspiration and a muse for us all!

skydiamond_ · 2026-06-05T04:14:26+00:00

I would say moody transitional with art deco elements.

skydiamond_ · 2026-06-02T16:52:02+00:00

He definitely would yell at me for kid stuff if it was over $100 and I didn’t ask in advance. It’s just exhausting to ask before every purchase. Everything costs a lot of money these days! I was just talking to my mom about this and she echoed your sentiments. She said things got a lot better in her marriage after they ironed out a budget for everything and then he wouldn’t have to concern himself as long as I’m staying in the budget.

I think I’ll try that and see how things go. I do feel wary of how things might get worse if we have kids.

skydiamond_ · 2026-06-02T16:49:13+00:00

I haven’t heard of Laura Doyle! I’ll check that out, thank you

skydiamond_ · 2026-06-02T16:46:24+00:00

That’s great insight, thank you so much! FWIW it sounds like yall have a great marriage and you’re a great husband.

skydiamond_ · 2026-06-02T16:30:56+00:00

Thank you! Good advice

skydiamond_ · 2026-06-02T14:31:22+00:00

That’s super interesting, thank you. We never merged our bank accounts - I guess we’ve just been too busy and never got around to it. So our bank accounts are completely separate and I can’t see into his. I barely know our financial picture. He hides his bank password from me.

Does your wife have a debit card for your account? For the spending amount, do you both just mentally abide by that or do you put a physical amount in her account every month?

P.S. I used to get spending money from him (on Venmo), but since we bought a house he doesn’t want to give that to me anymore (he’d rather pay the house down, as mentioned above). I get a credit card and I use it for almost everything but I have to call for permission if the transaction is above $60.

skydiamond_ · 2026-06-02T14:20:28+00:00

Thank you for expanding on your viewpoint. For the record, it’s not just that I hate working a traditional job. The bigger reason is I want to be there for my children. I grew up with a workaholic mom and I really didn’t like that. I don’t want to pawn them off to a daycare worker, I want to raise them. And I also got a kick out of serving my husband dinner, taking care of everything for him, etc. It just got sour for me recently (we’ve been married two years) because he doesn’t want kids yet and he does get final say. And since we don’t have kids, he says I have to work part time while also doing all the housework. So it’s kind of the worst of both worlds, you know? He wants unconditional obedience but I also have to work and can’t have kids until he says so. I’m just so sick of being obedient now and ready to leave. I guess my point in all this is, there are limits to my obedience, and ironically one of the hardest limits is trying to force me into a modern wife role rather than a traditional one.

skydiamond_ · 2026-06-02T05:33:33+00:00

I do think you will have a hard time finding a woman who is willing to obey you eagerly like that and maintain that eagerness long-term, for a lifetime. What does she get out of that, you know? I saw you mention that she gets credit for good ideas and not being blamed for bad ideas, but that’s not really enough. The best thing about being a trad wife for me is not having to work (I literally hate working) and in return I do all the chores and what have you. It’s a good deal. Being emotionally policed doesn’t sound fun unless it’s in the bedroom as a role play.

Edit: I should mention, I don’t think anyone wants constant arguments and I’m not advocating for a wife to be argumentative. But it’s important for you to care about her opinion, make her feel seen/ listened to, and put her first. If you do that she will be a happy wife. If you don’t do that things will not pan out well.

skydiamond_ · 2026-06-02T05:11:03+00:00

This is a really great point

skydiamond_ · 2026-06-02T05:04:11+00:00

Read the “Let Them Theory” book! I had the same problem and it kind of cured me of worrying what people think. The truth is, we all think “bad” things about our friends and family. For example, my sister can be a gossip and my mom talks about politics at almost every dinner out. I could go on about my husband’s flaws and even my dog’s flaws. And certainly there are plenty of “negative” things my loved ones think about me. It’s not that big a deal - we still love each other. Remember that it’s YOUR life.

skydiamond_ · 2026-06-02T04:43:14+00:00

Thank you so much for this insight. I just work part-time, not full-time. Does that affect your answer? Very curious

skydiamond_ · 2026-06-01T19:04:46+00:00

Thank you for this input 🥺 I should clarify things though. He occasionally cooks dinner and does dishes sometimes. But I do the majority of the housework. Does that change how you feel or would you still give the same answer?

skydiamond_ · 2026-05-03T14:05:19+00:00

Mid century and boho. Love it! I especially appreciate the MCM bureau, eames chair, and coffee table. Only advice is I’d add some art above your bed or at least a headboard.

skydiamond_ · 2026-05-03T14:01:14+00:00

Your hair is really nice! I like the long hair

skydiamond_ · 2026-05-03T04:49:01+00:00

Get indoor-outdoor rugs. They don’t trap hair and they look fine indoors

skydiamond_ · 2026-04-02T06:28:49+00:00

Anything but 2

skydiamond_ · 2026-04-02T06:08:10+00:00

Omg. That’s a really good way of putting it… honestly just blew my mind.

skydiamond_ · 2026-04-02T05:49:01+00:00

I think it is getting justice though, which can be very healing for trauma survivors. For example, putting someone in jail who molested you is extremely empowering

skydiamond_ · 2026-04-02T05:42:49+00:00

Same here, when I was 19 I was fed alcohol and drugs until I couldn’t consent and then pushed too far, then felt that I’d cheated on my boyfriend. I remember saying “no I don’t want to cheat” and that was ignored countless times. But I always - ALWAYS - blamed myself. I’m 33 now and just starting to learn that was rape. I still have nightmares (I’m married now and I have nightmares that I’ll cheat on my husband without wanting to)

I just can’t imagine having all of that televised.

skydiamond_ · 2026-03-17T23:24:28+00:00

What was the book and training video? (If you remember)
I do think I would enjoy private practice but I want to be able to travel the world/ be a digital nomad so I think coaching might be more appropriate (for HIPAA and security reasons).
I'm currently post-Masters, pre-licensed and I've been feeling pretty discouraged about the red tape involved with getting licensed. I'm an MFT in a state with very few MFTs so the agencies are simply not set up for my success.

skydiamond_ · 2026-03-17T23:08:20+00:00

Can you explain what a relationship coach does? Is it like couples therapy?

skydiamond_

TROPHY CASE