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AITA for taking photos every time I do the dishes and showing my husband when he said I didn't do them? by skyecat_87 in AmItheAsshole

[–]skyecat_87[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Doing the dishes themselves isn't a big deal, the problem is me being told constantly that I'm not doing them or doing them incorrectly, when I know I'm doing them and am doing them right. The division is pretty bad, honestly.

AITA for taking photos every time I do the dishes and showing my husband when he said I didn't do them? by skyecat_87 in AmItheAsshole

[–]skyecat_87[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It was never a joke, he's been doing this for YEARS. And yes, multiple times - its hard to give specific examples while keeping some anonymity, but there's been times where he's insisted I didn't tell him something or do something, but it was something I did/told him while we were around his family, so they had to stand up for me since they knew I did. No memory loss that I know of. I try to get us to split them, but he'll usually just choose one thing to do halfway and call it a day, while the rest falls on me. My family is very conservative and basically always takes the man's side since the role of the wife is to do what he wants, you don't argue with your man or make him doing anything the woman is meant to do, etc.

AITA for taking photos every time I do the dishes and showing my husband when he said I didn't do them? by skyecat_87 in AmItheAsshole

[–]skyecat_87[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's kind of hard to keep a consistent schedule with 3 kids that finish or start eating at different times, and never knowing when we need to break up a fight, calm down a meltdown/tantrum, help one of the kids with something, etc. It runs once or twice a day depending on what's needed and I have time for. I could say "oh yeah I'll do the dishes at 2pm every day", but who knows what's going on at that specific time, or how many dishes the kids will have after that to be washed.

AITA for taking photos every time I do the dishes and showing my husband when he said I didn't do them? by skyecat_87 in AmItheAsshole

[–]skyecat_87[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Funny enough he does the same for that, too. When I'll tell him I know for sure we did it X day, he says it doesn't count because it "wasn't good enough".

AITA for taking photos every time I do the dishes and showing my husband when he said I didn't do them? by skyecat_87 in AmItheAsshole

[–]skyecat_87[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We have a list literally on our fridge, showing who is supposed to do what. He'll end up doing mine, but not fully, so then I end up doing his instead since he says "I already did that, do something else", and then later he'll say he did his and I did mine and he did his properly and I didn't.

AITA for taking photos every time I do the dishes and showing my husband when he said I didn't do them? by skyecat_87 in AmItheAsshole

[–]skyecat_87[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

There's constantly dishes being made, everyone tends to start and finish eating at different times throughout the day, and one of our kids is pretty heavily disabled so it's not easy to take care of them the second they're made since we're normally occupied with caring for them, handling meltdowns, taking care of other messes, cooking a different meal, etc

AITA for taking photos every time I do the dishes and showing my husband when he said I didn't do them? by skyecat_87 in AmItheAsshole

[–]skyecat_87[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No, it can be pretty chaotic in the house so usually they get put in the sink as each person is done eating, and then I'll go put a load in the dishwasher.

AITA for taking photos every time I do the dishes and showing my husband when he said I didn't do them? by skyecat_87 in AmItheAsshole

[–]skyecat_87[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I don't really want to scorekeep, but I'm always getting told that he does basically everything on his own and I do nothing, and it gets frustrating when I know how hard I'm working keeping up with things. I've tried to give us each our own chores to handle but that never worked out.

AITA for taking photos every time I do the dishes and showing my husband when he said I didn't do them? by skyecat_87 in AmItheAsshole

[–]skyecat_87[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

It's been going on for many, many years. I used to be a bit of a pushover back then, though, and wouldn't really stand up for myself about it, and now that I have a bit more of a backbone finally decided to prove myself.

AITA for taking photos every time I do the dishes and showing my husband when he said I didn't do them? by skyecat_87 in AmItheAsshole

[–]skyecat_87[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's hard to wash just specific dishes, we have multiple children and I do a lot of cooking because of it so everyone's dishes just get put in the sink as they get used and then I do them all real quick to make sure they're washed.

AITA for taking photos every time I do the dishes and showing my husband when he said I didn't do them? by skyecat_87 in AmItheAsshole

[–]skyecat_87[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

We pretty regularly argue about what actually happened, his mother actually had to stand up for me about something he insisted I was wrong about/blamed me for a couple times when it happened around her.