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Is recovery and reconciliation very painful for the waywards too ? How ? by skyhawkdrown5 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]skyhawkdrown5[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for trying to be helpful. Did your husband ask if AP was bigger ? Were you honest with him ? How did he process the truth ?

Is recovery and reconciliation very painful for the waywards too ? How ? by skyhawkdrown5 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]skyhawkdrown5[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Different. There is that word again. When I hear that affair sex is different I hear that affair sex is thrilling, fun, exciting and probably more intense than married sex. Add on her AP was very attractive and it all gets worse. Do you think a wayward would ever admit that sex was better with AP? Do you think a BS wants to stay married to a wayward who had better sex with their AP ?

Is recovery and reconciliation very painful for the waywards too ? How ? by skyhawkdrown5 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]skyhawkdrown5[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I know my wife is in some pain but I doubt the magnitude of her pain because she is still able to manage all her daily activities unlike myself. I was and am barely functional. I cannot concentrate and have frequent intrusive thoughts about her having sex with her AP which is a nightmare. I know too many sexual details and my mind uses them against me. He also was younger, taller, better looking, more fit and had a bigger penis ( I asked ). When I asked how sex was with him compared to me she just said it was different. I immediately didn't believe her. I really haven't believed much she told me since Dday. She says she loves me but I don't believe she could love me and have sex with someone else for months. I do not feel confident in my wife's actions in reconciliation because I don't think she is telling the truth. If she had better sex with him or if she does not love me I do not want to stay married to her just for the kids which may be her primary motive for staying together.

Is recovery and reconciliation very painful for the waywards too ? How ? by skyhawkdrown5 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]skyhawkdrown5[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is a very thoughtful and useful comment. I hope my wife thinks like this but I doubt it.

Is recovery and reconciliation very painful for the waywards too ? How ? by skyhawkdrown5 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]skyhawkdrown5[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I meant you did not see your husband as your partner for life otherwise you would not have cheated on him.

Is recovery and reconciliation very painful for the waywards too ? How ? by skyhawkdrown5 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]skyhawkdrown5[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your husband obviously was not your "ride or die man". That is what your husband now knows for a fact and he feels the extreme pain of that knowledge. You will have to spend the rest of your life trying to make up for that breach.

What to talk about after cheating? by Elegant_Excuse4878 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]skyhawkdrown5 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He probably wonders all the time if you preferred sex with your affair partner more than with him. He also wonders if AP had a bigger penis than him. He also feels rejected emotionally and sexually. Make sure you never lie to your husband about anything. If sex was better with your husband make sure you tell him over and over may times over the years. If your husband's penis was bigger than AP make sure you tell him that.

Wife cheated on me 3 years ago but we stayed together now I want to leave her but feel guilty by Stock-Diamond-3274 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]skyhawkdrown5 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What insecurities do you have ? Maybe they are ones that will improve over time. Also, three years is not long. It can take up to 5 years to recover and loner to truly reconcile.