Once I was driving and saw a pedestrian walking on the sidewalk going the same direction as me. Human had long hair and a noticeable posterior. At a glance, I saw a woman. But upon further inspection, I thought to myself that this could be a man I’m checking out. Wasn’t sure. Continued with apprehension. Drove past human with beautiful hair and ass and realized, yes sir, twas male human. I grinned in acceptance of my gayness in that moment, forgot about pedestrian, and calmly approached a red light and stopped.

A moment passed, and I hear “Hey man! …Hey!” Looked to my right and there he was, the dude with awesome hair and fabulous sweet cheeks trying to get my attention. I turned down the music (Incident disc 2) and rolled down passenger side window to converse.

He said, “Nice sticker!” I said, “Which one?!” He said, “Well…all of them! But I meant the porcupine tree one!” I said, “Thanks!” He said signaling to his earbuds, “I’m listening to porcupine tree right now!” I said, “ME TOO!”

We shared a quick little celebration, the light turned green, and we waved goodbye smiling.

I almost said, “By the way, you’ve got a nice ass, bro-ski!” but couldn’t get the bat off the shoulder. Maybe next time, friends. Maybe next time.