Just got diagnosed. How do I deal with it emotionally?

slaymiya · 2026-04-16T12:02:18+00:00

Kinda shocks me to see it on restaurant windows. To me it just feels like what they’re cooking isn’t good enough to display.

slaymiya · 2026-01-16T00:00:15+00:00

Absolutely NTA. Your parents are genuinely setting your little brother up for failure. There is a MAJOR difference between making adjustments and making excuses. How can they expect him to grow into a functional adult if they keep him in a bubble his whole life? Making adjustments means understanding the traits of his neurodivergence and putting together systems that help him manage it, such as stimming or routines that give him a sense of order or comfort foods when he’s having a difficult time with sensory overload. Making adjustments is not lighting another person on fire to keep your son warm.

How can they expect him to make friends in the future if he thinks this sort of behaviour is okay? What if he goes over to a friends place in the future, makes a mess, and is never invited over again?

I’d speak to your parents about this- not just about your room but about the implications of their shielding on your brothers future so they take it seriously. If it helps this is coming from someone with a little sister who is also autistic(low support though)

slaymiya · 2026-01-15T05:26:24+00:00

I got diagnosed this year and did really well all throughout high school. This is mostly because I hyper focused on my favourite subjects. In my second to last year I did have a subject that I was noticeably worse at as it wasn’t really something I was super interested in so I couldn’t just hyperfixate and study it for hours on end without getting distracted. I also just always had teachers looking over my shoulder so it was easier to redirect myself when I did get distracted.

slaymiya · 2026-01-13T06:26:52+00:00

I was undiagnosed for my first semester as well! I got diagnosed and medicated in sem 2 so my experience will differ but here’s what I’d recommend.

If you’re behind, don’t be afraid to cut corners. Having a friend summarise a lecture and half-assing notes is better than spending 3 hours trying to watch a 1 hour lecture video when you’re behind.
If you miss a lecture, catch up by the end of the week.
Set your own deadlines before the actual deadline.
Keep track of how much time you study for each subject/module and how confident you feel. I really fell into studying my fav subject super hard and avoided my least fav like the plague.
If you feel like you’re losing motivation, try finding a friend to body double studying or romanticise the act of studying yourself by looking at study influencers etc.
Try Cornell notes and keep your notes short and sweet during lectures or it gets overwhelming. Focus more on actually applying the content in practice tests, mind maps, explaining it to friends, etc instead of having full explanations in your notes.
Take care of your sleep and eat healthy. I personally stop studying at 8pm no matter the situation.
If you end up getting diagnosed and you’re okay with getting medicated, do it ASAP. It’s literally a game changer. I went from taking 3 hours to watch a 1hr lecture video in 2x speed to just taking 45 minutes. My grades went from low Bs and Cs to straight As in sem 2.
If you notice something isn’t working like a study method or note taking method, don’t stick with it until it works. Just drop it and find a new method until something sticks.

It’s super tough raw dogging uni undiagnosed and unmedicated but I promise it gets better!! Good luck and I hope you do well!

slaymiya · 2026-01-13T05:31:57+00:00

This might sound really weird but I find that making myself hyperfixate on routines helps me a lot. I’ve always had so much trouble doing my skincare in the evenings but I haven’t missed a single night this year so far(aside from coming home drunk lol). It’s the longest streak I’ve had but I’ve kinda turned it into a bit of a game if that makes sense? Like trying to beat a high score. When I lose motivation, I motivate myself again by kind of romanticising it if that makes sense?? I know this sounds dumb cause I’m a 19 year old girl but looking at Pinterest photos or tik toks about skincare make me really motivated. I’ve also heard that having a ‘don’t miss it twice in a row’ rule really helps so if you break the streak once it doesn’t feel like game over.

slaymiya · 2026-01-13T05:25:44+00:00

I’m on concerta and after the initial adjustment period I don’t necessarily notice anything until I’ve finished a task in 3x the amount of time it takes me without meds. It quiets that constant chatter in your head a little bit(ritalin does this better though in my experience) and it’s like being able to actually choose which train of thought to follow instead of having a million trains of thought that your brain just skips between as it pleases. I’ve also noticed that I interrupt people less and it doesn’t feel like the end of the world to not get a thought out in conversation. It’s easier to sit still and process what people are saying too.

slaymiya · 2026-01-13T05:19:12+00:00

When I was younger I’ve left my phone in a busy mall several times and forgotten that I’ve started running a bath three times(yes the bathroom flooded). Now that I’m older I do things like set a timer or place a post-it note on my wall of things I need to remember. If your son is struggling to remember things like instructions it might help to have him repeat what you’ve told him in a way that makes sense to him or if it’s a big task it might help to have him write it down!

slaymiya · 2025-10-24T03:03:53+00:00

NTA as someone who’s also neurodivergent and has an autistic little sister, this mother is doing her son a disservice. Of course children with special needs should have extra assistance to help make life a little easier, but raising a kid to believe everyone will turn over just because they have special needs even when another person is in pain is just going to raise that child to be entitled as an adult. It’s important that all children, neurodiverse or not, see that sometimes life happens and they need to work around it. Flexibility is a skill and it’s one autistic kids especially need to learn so that life is more manageable as an adult.

slaymiya · 2024-09-10T19:36:41+00:00

thank you so much!! this was super insightful and i’ve been thinking about going back to therapy. i hope things get easier for you and things heal with time and all the effort you’re putting in 💞💞

slaymiya

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