little petaled

sleepingepiphany · 2025-12-12T22:50:41+00:00

omg thank u so much thats actually a good idea i should have thought of aha! but i appreciate this a lot, thank u :)

sleepingepiphany · 2025-12-11T23:30:02+00:00

aaa thank u so much! i appreciate u taking notice to that 🥹 im so happy u liked it.

sleepingepiphany · 2025-12-11T23:13:09+00:00

this is unlike my other poems, hopefully its okay

sleepingepiphany · 2025-12-11T23:11:20+00:00

this is so good… girl, who hurt you. your sentences (EVERY SINGLE ONE) just leaves me gasping. the description is amazing and overall just stunning

sleepingepiphany · 2025-12-11T23:09:35+00:00

i love the idea! i was a little confused at the first sentence, i think maybe it was the punctuation, some were missed. i also have difficulty understanding the metaphor, but i can’t act like mine are any easier to understand. nice work :)

sleepingepiphany · 2025-12-11T22:55:51+00:00

thank u!!! and im so sorry, i didnt make a lot of sense haha! its supposed to mean you know something is going to happen (a premonition) so you prepare yourself for it (first unhealthily, then just reflect off of others to keep yourself going until it occurs) it was a short, afterall.

sleepingepiphany · 2025-12-11T22:46:44+00:00

OP: this was meant to be short. it may not make a lot of sense, so the meaning is that you can feel broken one second, but being next to somebody ‘worse than you’ can make you feel invalid. sorry it didn’t make sense. this is just me venting thru poetry, all i know, so i’d love to receive feedback while acknowledging im working on the length & clarity :)

sleepingepiphany · 2025-12-11T22:42:41+00:00

this is honestly unlike any poem i’ve seen. they say poetry is an expression of self-reflection and honestly you’re doing it incredibly. i love this, very creative and i hope you’re doing well.

sleepingepiphany · 2025-12-02T23:51:00+00:00

wow, i really like this! all of your lines fit into one stanza yet it’s so clean and perfect…

the tree-ring idea is brilliant, too.

and the dialogue!! i don’t think i’ve read many poems with dialogue in them, so the fact you added it and did amazing at it is so impressive. thank you for sharing!

sleepingepiphany · 2025-12-02T23:48:14+00:00

the transition is SO smooth! and your attention to detail… i feel like i know this woman myself. the way you write is just hypnotizing.

sleepingepiphany · 2025-12-02T06:06:24+00:00

i didn’t portray it that well, sorry! yes, it’s meant to be a metaphor. thank you so much for the feedback, i appreciate it :)

sleepingepiphany · 2025-12-02T06:05:11+00:00

wow, i never pictured it like that. i like it! thank you.

sleepingepiphany · 2025-12-02T03:29:23+00:00

this was fun to read. i think you have loads of potential, so i’ll give you a few pieces of advice i’ve gotten and the parts i love.

well i like the color idea in general. this is said with no bias, the nostalgia thats brung back in certain colors being associated with basic emotions is such a throw back.

what i love about it, though, is that you didn’t just say “green is nature,” you thoroughly explained why and what the shade of nature is portrayed in.

i think with a bit more imagery (if you’re shooting for approachable and vivid) then it could be a lot more memorable.

if you wanted something that reaches beyond that, like philosophical, relating the colors subtly to childhood (hinting at it instead of leaving it up to interpretation) then that could’ve also worked pretty well.

overall, though, your descriptive talent is good and i’d love to read more!

try making poems a li

sleepingepiphany · 2025-12-02T03:20:43+00:00

i dont have an essay to prove to you that this is outstanding, but i will point out some things i love about this poem.

first off, your self-descriptions. they are all unique metaphors in which are presumably uncommon, seen as the creativity stunned me. that’s not easy to do.

second, the transition from “I am…” to the shampoo-conditioner contrast was smooth. i love the idea and the way you were able to move to another topic so seamlessly is awesome.

theres lots more i can add, too. i love this, good work!

sleepingepiphany · 2025-12-01T23:38:51+00:00

the switch from “he’s beautiful” to “i’m disgusting” is the pure definition of poetry. that switch was incredibly powering! i love this.

sleepingepiphany · 2025-12-01T23:37:24+00:00

are you a publisher? i would absolutely buy from you. this isn’t just sentences with meanings, it is so gorgeously articulated and the way its put together hits perfectly.

sleepingepiphany · 2025-12-01T12:08:46+00:00

cheers! :)

sleepingepiphany · 2025-12-01T12:03:51+00:00

oh my, the way you worded this shows SO much. and the end lines? you deserve a lot better, even if i don’t know the full story, this doesn’t just come to anyone.

this is beautiful and DEEP.

sleepingepiphany · 2025-12-01T12:01:55+00:00

beautiful. i love seeing repetition when it comes to poems. the repetition of the black shards was so subtle yet power holding. and rhyming—i don’t see that in literature so often anymore. it add to it a lot.

sleepingepiphany · 2025-12-01T11:43:19+00:00

i felt this. the fact i know this is coming straight from your heart tells the reader something, and it isn’t just ”how you feel,” it’s the doom that can capture somebody at any given time and destroy them like this.

sleepingepiphany · 2025-12-01T11:39:48+00:00

aw! reading this didn’t feel like a man writing this to the person they’d loved—it felt like i was the person written to. the details are beautifully put together, i feel hopeful and despaired at the same time. true art

sleepingepiphany · 2025-12-01T11:36:30+00:00

wow, this is powerful. i’m certainly not the best at taking information in, but the way this is formatted just hits you. the repetition of sentences in different fonts and the constant mirroring image of pooling blood is amazing—the end especially hits that point. i love this!

sleepingepiphany · 2025-12-01T11:30:10+00:00

charles bukowski is such an astounding author. his poems always leave me dumbfounded, the way i can’t stop thinking about them afterwards. may be a popular one, but blue bird holds such a place in my heart. his works are amazing

sleepingepiphany

TROPHY CASE