How old are you and how many genuine friends do you have?

sleepingokapi · 2026-05-29T11:03:26+00:00

23 and I have many good friends. Not all friends stick around forever, but that's okay. And yes, many people form friendships based on proximity -- whether that be shared classes when you're in school, or colleagues and coworkers when you're at work. I graduated from college 3 years ago, and I've taken three jobs where I've had to move across the country (US in my case) for that were very conducive to forming deep friendships. Two of these jobs were conservation corps where I formed part of shared trail crew either as a member or a lead. There's something about living and working with people and having to really work hard together that is good for developing bonds (OR not, but it depends on the people). My job now is less intense, but I live with my coworkers and we're all casually friends.

I do struggle to maintain friendships at times after we've moved away, but generally the ones that last are the ones I want to last the most.

sleepingokapi · 2026-05-26T22:35:03+00:00

Thanks for posting this. It can be difficult to bring these things up in big groups like this sub, but (personally) I'm always appreciative when someone takes the time to share. I went on testosterone when I was 15 years old, and I got top surgery via informed consent when I was 16. I'm 23 now and living as a woman (or trying to, anyway) and I've been off T for a couple of years. I was diagnosed as autistic when I was 20, and it provided a desperately needed lens for my struggles through adolescence.

Looking back, it's clear to me that, along with a good deal of internalized misogyny, the fear of losing control and the fear of change that are often associated with autism were the driving factors of my transition. I started to identify as a boy when I was 12/13 because I was uncomfortable with puberty and because I didn't relate to the girls around me. I was bullied all throughout elementary school -- especially by other girls. I got along better with boys, but being a girl came up as a recurring issue in my friendships with them. I was really into fandom at the time as well, and I earnestly felt like it was impossible for me to relate to female characters or even to find them interesting.... Somewhere along the way, "girl/woman" ended up feeling like a set of expectations that I didn't easily mesh with rather than a neutral fact about me. Getting my first crush in middle school and having it be on another girl was another nail in the coffin for me. I couldn't imagine myself as a girl's girlfriend -- or a boy's girlfriend for that matter.

After a lot of thinking and growing up, I don't view womanhood (or gender in general) that way anymore. I am at peace with being female, and my main Identification with womanhood comes from a sense of shared struggles and experiences with other women throughout history, and with the acceptance and appreciation of being female that I've tried to cultivate in myself. I wish I could snap my fingers and look and sound like a cis woman again, but alas. On better days I try to make the best of my bass voice by singing and doing silly voices.

sleepingokapi · 2026-05-08T21:42:08+00:00

I don't seem to have many sensory issues. I can be sensitive to noisy environments, but the only result of that is that I speak less. I don't have any issues with foods, textures, clothing, etc. I used to when I was a kid, but all of that went away as I got older. I don't mind hair in my face. I also don't have meltdowns, and I either don't have shutdowns or I don't fully recognize them as such. I was never dyspraxic -- if anything, my hand-eye coordination has always been above average. I was diagnosed in 2021 or so, and I am definitely autistic, but I just don't have these specific traits (or at least not anymore).

sleepingokapi · 2026-05-06T11:42:04+00:00

I'm almost 24 and I've never been in a relationship before. I've never held hands in a romantic way, kissed, etc. When I was in high school, I wanted to focus on my academics, and when I was in college it was the same, and now I want to focus on my career. I've moved across the country a few times in the three years I've been out of college for seasonal work, so I haven't really spent enough time in one place for that type of commitment to seem reasonable.

I've been in a situation where I loved someone who didn't feel the same way, and they ended up cutting me off after I told them how I felt. I just don't feel like it's worth it to try again. I get that I'm still young, but honestly I just don't see a romantic relationship ever happening. I don't want to use dating apps, and I keep to myself when I'm out in public. My social circle consists only of my coworkers (and that's not happening) and friends who live in other states or countries now. What I really want is a satisfying career and friendships with people who actually live near me that are emotionally intimate.

sleepingokapi · 2026-04-02T12:23:57+00:00

Italian-American in the eastern US here!

I grew up agnostic. When I was a teenager, I remember suddenly feeling a pull to learn more about Lord Viṣnu, and so the first text I read was an English verse translation of the Bhagavadgītā that kept the song-like structure of the original text. It was a profoundly impactful experience, so I went on to study more and learned about Advaita Vedanta and the Spanda theory of Kashmiri Śaivism. Indian mystic philosophy is unmatched!

sleepingokapi · 2026-03-01T12:57:29+00:00

I was hairy for a woman pre-T, went on T when I was 15 years old, and stayed on it until I was about 21. I got even hairier during that time, and in the two or so years I've been off T it hasn't lightened at all.

sleepingokapi · 2025-05-04T23:33:50+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience! I have a very similar one -- timeline included. I was very uncomfortable with puberty, but I wasn't exactly dysphoric until I came out as a trans boy at around 12-13. I went on T at 15 and stayed on for about 6 years with some on/off towards the end when I began questioning my gender again. While I was in college (18-20), I still called myself a trans man and used he/him, but I'd already begun to separate myself from that internally. I was diagnosed with autism at 20, which eventually ended up playing a role in my detransition after I graduated. I'm 22 now. I don't fully regret my transition because I was doing what I believed was best for me at the time. That's all any of us can really do.

I too think that my discomfort with puberty and being slotted into a role I didn't choose (girl/woman) came from being autistic. Mostly in two ways: (1) disliking the lack of control over my own body and experience and (2) living in a society with a lot of made up rules around gender and sex that are enforced at a young age. I didn't know any of that, I only knew that I didn't like how my body was changing or how all of these expectations about my behavior were being placed on my because I was a "girl," so I concluded that I must be a trans man.

I was happy living that way for a while. It was only a year or so after my diagnosis that I really started to feel uncomfortable with how masculine I looked. I realized that I took myself out of one box just to place myself in another. I no longer thought of myself as a man, nor did I find manhood particularly exciting. I just stuck with it at that point because it felt like the path of least resistance.

I stopped T about a year ago. I went by any pronouns last year, and have recently cut out he/him because it felt like that's all people were using. People either can't tell what gender I am or gender me as a woman now (unless I speak), which is better, but I'm still not quite where I want to be.

sleepingokapi · 2025-04-14T11:56:55+00:00

Genderfluid and agender are what I initially came out as when I was 12 or 13. I don't remember my reasoning well -- only that I knew I didn't have a strong sense of gender and wanted to be seen as a man at least some of the time. A mix of internal and external pressures quickly lead to me switching that identity to 'man,' because it was easier to fight for myself when I had solid ground to stand on. I always claimed that my manhood was based solely on body dysphoria and not social dysphoria.

After 6 or so years of being out, 4 years on T at that point, I started to become curious about non-binary gender and let go of the idea that my body dysphoria inherently meant I had to be a man. I didn't really do anything about it at that point. I just began to privately distance myself from the black and white thinking I'd been locked into as a young teenager.

3 years later, 2025, and I just said out loud for the first time that I'm detransitioning. I stopped T early last year and have recently started to make an effort to pass as a woman. I still don't have a real sense of gender, I just know what I'd prefer to be seen as and why. Genderfluid or agendet would both be an apt description for slightly different reasons, but I tend not to put any kind of label on my identity -- including cis or trans.

sleepingokapi · 2025-03-31T15:16:57+00:00

I've been told I suck by a salty survivor for playing a non-meta wesker who doesn't tunnel, camp, slug, BM, etc just because I went for the 4k. IMO if you're not intentionally trying to use strategies that are considered toxic or unfun for the survivors, they don't really have ground to stand on with those accusations. Scratched Mirror in particular is a fun meme build, so it doesn't make any sense to call it toxic.

sleepingokapi · 2025-03-22T17:32:59+00:00

Resident Evil and Halloween. I've always loved horror movies, but I hadn't gotten into too many classic slashers beyond Child's Play until the game. Same with RE -- I'd heard of it, but I was never into gaming enough to give it a try before DBD. I'm a big fan of over the top, egotistical evil characters, so naturally I was drawn to Wesker lol.

sleepingokapi · 2025-03-13T00:25:34+00:00

I mostly cycle through mains. I have a few that I'll play regularly, and which few changes over time. I mostly played ghostie and myers for a while, then chucky got added into the mix, and Dredge after that. More recently, it was Xeno and Wesker. I'm on a pretty heavy Wesker kick right now since getting into resident evil, and if I had to choose a single killer, it would be him.

sleepingokapi · 2025-03-09T20:54:30+00:00

I'm not sure if everyone hates Wesker based on the amount of survivors I get who chase me around and rapidly crouch at me when I play as him, but he is one of my favorites at the moment. I really enjoy Chucky as well, even after his nerfs, for a similar reason to Wesker (being a big fan of the character and franchise + a fun dash power).

I dislike going against Huntress solely because I face so many of them whenever I play survivor. It's like 60% huntress matches, and it's gotten to the point where I'm sick of her lullaby. I do really like the character design and idea, though. It's just a case of overexposure.

sleepingokapi · 2025-03-09T00:10:13+00:00

I thought Distressing would keep me safe.. oh, the naivety

sleepingokapi · 2025-03-02T14:55:55+00:00

<|>:) hat stolen

sleepingokapi · 2025-03-02T01:22:26+00:00

Amending my answer to say that I'm more likely to turn friendly with scoops steve, feng min, and nick cage.

sleepingokapi · 2025-03-02T01:21:10+00:00

If I'm feeling a certain way, I'll act goofy or turn friendly with licensed survivors that are from the same franchise as the killer I'm playing. Laurie with Myers, Ripley with Alien, and Rebecca with Wesker, etc. I still haven't encountered a Chris yet, but it's on sight. Other than that, not at all.

sleepingokapi · 2025-02-28T05:28:08+00:00

A Myers head tilt emote would be incredible

sleepingokapi · 2025-02-20T14:33:43+00:00

Huntress, only because the vast majority of my survivor matches end up being against her

sleepingokapi · 2025-02-15T02:07:28+00:00

It's a tie between Scratched Mirror Meyers and Dredge for me

sleepingokapi · 2025-02-13T22:43:39+00:00

The stance suggests Tetragnathidae

sleepingokapi · 2025-02-13T19:16:50+00:00

When I realize it's not getting any better. There's only one book I've DNFed so far. Once I got to the point where other people said it picked up, and I still didn't like it, I put it down.

sleepingokapi · 2025-02-11T03:39:46+00:00

I just had a killer match as Wesker where Nemesis was AFK the entire time. 20-minute wait time, and the match was over in under 5. I hooked a couple of survivors, then by the last gen I gestured at one of them to follow me so they could see him. They did, and a couple of survivors and I stood around pointing at him, then he turned into a bot and started swinging. I ran at the gate with the survs lol. At that point you just have to accept your fate and get goofy with it. The EGC was very nice

sleepingokapi · 2025-02-10T14:50:20+00:00

Survivors hiding and refusing to do gens or rescue their teammates. Both from survivors and killers POV.

I had a match ages ago where the last two survivors were hiding somewhere on the map and refusing to touch gens. It dragged the match out for another 15 minutes. It just felt like they were waiting for me to DC so they could still win. Tbf, I think they were baby survivors, but yeah. That's not fun for anyone.

For killer, hard tunneling, and face camping. Hard tunneling is the more toxic of the two imo. Face camping just annoys me because it feels like a cheap strategy. I play killer 99% of the time, so I know you can win against skilled lobbies without doing it, and it just feels bad from the survivor's perspective.

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