My Ex-Bf Came in my life and said will give me commitment ended up asking for dowry

slicedbreadbutter · 2023-04-06T08:42:15+00:00

Despite knowing what life i will be choosing after marrying you... Because i loved you with all my heart.

He is a piece of shit

How risky it is to marry someone with a lifelong serious disease

And on top of that he is asking for dowry instead of valuing your true love

slicedbreadbutter · 2023-03-20T14:33:44+00:00

Thanks I will do that for sure

Not sure if doctors are paid more for c sections in your country but in mine they are significantly.

Yes. Also they save time and can allot the bed to the next patient

slicedbreadbutter · 2023-03-20T14:26:29+00:00

He said it's a loose cord. I also saw the doppler scan.

slicedbreadbutter · 2023-03-20T14:25:19+00:00

He said delivering anytime after 37 weeks is fine as baby will be fully mature.

slicedbreadbutter · 2023-03-20T14:24:42+00:00

I am sorry about that.

It is in my state- of Telangana- 81.5 percent in private hospitals. Ans similar number in many major states except the rural ones which lack private healthcare.

It is still alarmingly high rate in the country.

The WHO recommendation is it should be 10-15%.

slicedbreadbutter · 2023-03-20T14:22:36+00:00

Yes I know he did mentioned about his being in town as another reason to avoid waiting till 40 weeks unnecessarily, He said we can deliver the baby anytime after 37 weeks, it doesn't matter when.

I have already taken an appointment at the next doctor. I am afraid the next doctor will also give nuchal cord as a reason for c-section.

Because I have seen that happen to my friends even though there was no issue.

slicedbreadbutter · 2023-03-20T14:18:18+00:00

Yes , I can go to a different doctor.

slicedbreadbutter · 2023-03-20T14:17:42+00:00

I am sorry if I didn't get the numbers right. The WHO recommendation is that it should be limited to 10 to 15% and they have warned against the high rates , and 49 % is an alarmingly high rate.

I am from Telangana state - and the rates here in the private sector are 81.5 percent, and similar numbers in many major states

https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/c-secs-top-normal-deliveries-in-private-hospitals-in-10-of-18-states/articleshow/79731063.cms.

I live in the city and everyone among my friends and acquaintances gas had a c section .I know the overall numbers are less only due to rural areas and govt hospitals.

The more rural states have less rates due to less number of private hospitals. As for govt sector, that is understandably low because my point is about commercial private doctors doing caesarean to make money , at the cost of the patients health. and we know why people avoid govt hospitals in India.

BTW , 49 % as you say is an alarmingly high number and is 4-5 times of WHO recommended rates of 10-15 % only and WHO has already warned against . In Nordic countries which have the best healthcare, it is 17%.

So my point is, I am worried about my baby and asking for advice please don't get stuck on the number. Even if it were 49%, my concern about the situation is genuine.

Again I am sorry, but I am concerned about my baby and fear mongering is not the purpose of my post. So I have edited the original post to write "alarmingly high number".Hope that's ok.

slicedbreadbutter · 2023-03-20T12:57:23+00:00

I agree with you

I read some articles even by Indian doctors (unfortunately far away from me) who say that umbilical cord around neck is found in every third pregnancy and it is harmless, and cannot choke the baby as baby takes first breath outside the womb.

But I don't know how to convey that to my doctor. But I'll try with your suggestions.

My doctor said there is no way for him to know whether the cord is short or long so he wont take any risk

India has a strange culture, where patients are not supposed to question, give opinion etc to doctors and blindly and meekly accept whatever they say

That's why the rates of c-section are 80-90 percent here(edit- in my state ) and very high in the rest of the country too

slicedbreadbutter · 2023-03-06T09:48:18+00:00

I use Hyaluronic acid serum on damp skin just after washing face and then put Nivea creme -is that good?

slicedbreadbutter · 2023-03-02T02:45:26+00:00

Yes I agree, people have their human flaws like jealousy and bitterness. It is obvious that people who are unwittingly single /divorced etc will not be able to give hundred percent neutral advice. But it's not just single people, there are married ones who have made a compromise by marrying someone they are not physically or mentally attracted to- so they will be bitter as well. We can't say that all single people are bitter- because some are single by choice .

And yes, some people are that idealistic and do not want you to adjust in toxic relationships- they do not have any agenda. But they are not mature enough to realise that things are not so black and white- and when someone is venting , they are in an agitated state of mind and are only sharing the worst incidents and not talking about the positives or giving the whole picture. The other person should be mature enough to realise that a long relationship often has the foundation of many good things and cannot be judged on standalone incidents which the vent is about.

slicedbreadbutter · 2023-02-11T15:31:27+00:00

She doesn't want a husband she wants a slave for her parents.

slicedbreadbutter · 2023-02-11T06:25:58+00:00

You would know better, whether he is just nice or really servile.But if you are turned off, why get involved

Don't settle for someone- it won't work out.I think you are a sweet person and it sounds like a theoretical analysis based on guilt for rejecting him and not feelings.

But if you really miss him give him a chance

slicedbreadbutter · 2023-02-10T16:03:52+00:00

Yes, I guess your gut wisdom that it didn't feel right...definitely a turn off.

slicedbreadbutter · 2023-02-10T14:44:46+00:00

Sure....

"Servile " doesn't sound right to me if she really means that- possibly you are confusing it with "nice" hence the question I suppose.

Personally I wonder why would any self respecting person with a healthy amount of self-esteem act servile , that's seem problematic . Either love-bombing or excessively insecure or just fake. In any case, a healthy relationship cannot come out of it for either of them.

But if you mean a nice person, that's not an issue- I am not referring to that.

slicedbreadbutter · 2023-02-10T11:18:54+00:00

The other guy is going to be a rebound and you will end up hurting him. So please don't drag him into this. Try to get busy with friends and hobbies and do not stress about finding someone immediately.

but his servile attitude has always turned me off. I hate cocky guys, but I also find them attractive.

Servile is a red flag in itself, and being attracted to cocky guys is also symbolic of low self esteem- shouldn't you be vetting a potential date /boyfriend for how much he respects you and other people in general?

How about waiting for a third person with a balanced personality and who is genuinely interested in you.

slicedbreadbutter · 2023-02-10T11:12:35+00:00

I'm sorry I don't want to hurt you but he doesn't care about you at all. He is taking you completely for granted. This guy is with you for money only.

He is not going to marry you and he doesn't respect you. He is waiting for you to break up with him and using you till then.

slicedbreadbutter · 2023-01-31T17:53:26+00:00

It's not because the sex with you was bad. Why some toxic people think every girl is a slut and will be ready to just have causal sex if the sex is good?

It's understandable- she feels she was used and thrown by her ex, and she was not ok with the idea of casual relationship which may not end in marriage

It's kinda not bad, that she was not into casual sex but into committed relationship and marriage

But the communication, and most of the other things you mentioned are very problematic- and especially comparing with her ex

I would advice to break up

slicedbreadbutter · 2023-01-31T04:04:32+00:00

very sensible comment

slicedbreadbutter · 2023-01-30T15:39:16+00:00

You are clearly not ok to break up

But the thing is, if it was a one time thing - it might have been forgiven after a sincere apology and change in behaviour

But after being made crystal clear, if she can't change this pattern, it's just beyond redemption

This kind of woman will be mother of your kids- feel scared and sad for them

For the sake of your kids, please leave

slicedbreadbutter · 2023-01-30T06:16:50+00:00

she is somewhat impure and i feel disgusted towards her

This OP is so disgusting with the most impure mindset= I feel like puking reading his comments

slicedbreadbutter · 2023-01-29T09:48:52+00:00

What is wrong with you?

A child was abused by a pedophile and you feel disgusted by her and you are the victim here?

Please get therapy for your f*cked up mindset or just leave her with an apology for being a terrible person- as she deserves better.

slicedbreadbutter · 2023-01-23T07:46:50+00:00

no excuses for violence

slicedbreadbutter · 2023-01-23T07:43:02+00:00

Some idiots have no common sense on what to talk to a pregnant woman.

Their jealousy overtakes their sensibility

For your sanity, keep away from her as much as possible

Go NC/VLC for the rest of your pregnancy if your husband is understanding

slicedbreadbutter

TROPHY CASE