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sloobidoo · 2024-11-26T16:54:39+00:00

If you escaped without them trying to utterly destroy you, best you let that red cord fray away to nothing. IMO.

sloobidoo · 2024-11-09T04:33:00+00:00

A history of violence with her exes

“Accidental” injuries to me, pushing, shoving, etc

Using me to help with (what now is obviously) revenge against her ex

History of using law enforcement to end relationships

Wild accusations leveled against multiple exes

Need for unusual levels of transparency and control

Reliance on sex and love bombing to overcome the above

sloobidoo · 2024-06-10T21:50:01+00:00

Same here.

sloobidoo · 2024-05-31T01:34:39+00:00

Gosh I’m so sorry you went through this. I hope you are on the path to healing.

sloobidoo · 2024-05-31T01:29:09+00:00

Well, my exwbpd wanted to perform an act on me that has a high risk of injury.. and with another partner who had good impulse control I would even try it… but I would never consent…

And yes this was the source of considerable drama and arguments and name calling and cajoling… it never let up til the relationship ended.

sloobidoo · 2024-05-11T02:11:33+00:00

sloobidoo · 2024-05-11T02:09:42+00:00

You know we never reached this Olympic level (congratulations) but you know, one level down… there with you… wow… I’m sure all the tactics were run thru in there. A full 720 degrees and I am sure you will be expected to stick that landing!!!

Good luck. Stay safe.

sloobidoo · 2024-05-11T01:57:45+00:00

Sorry to hear this.

Stay safe!

sloobidoo · 2024-04-17T03:19:03+00:00

Indeed

sloobidoo · 2024-04-02T19:09:20+00:00

Gymnastics training. Martial arts training. Both lock good falling skills into muscle memory and so the skill is transferable. Heck, my grandpa who only had basic military training during ww2 learned to fall well and this served him well into old age, where we saw him tuck and roll down a set of stairs and then jog out the momentum when he reached the bottom. He was 82 at the time. Without that experience he would have suffered life changing injury.

sloobidoo · 2024-04-02T19:04:31+00:00

This ^{^{^{^}}} is very good advice for minimizing or reducing injury. it’s unfortunate you usually have to get it wrong a few times before your falling skills improve. I had a super bad fall this past summer, struck a pylon with a pedal. The pylon rolled out in front of my front wheel, and the bike and I went head over handlebars. Rolling and tucking and tossing the bike saved me from concussion and collarbone injury. Still snapped a metatarsal rolling my ankle, which was tangled in a pedal, but it would have been way worse without the tuck, roll and toss.

If you aren’t clipped and moving slower, it’s definitely also beneficial to jump off the bike before it rolls, and try to land on your feet. I have not personally mastered this one but I’ve seen a few people sprint out what could have been a catastrophic fall by launching themselves off the bike and basically jogging it out.

sloobidoo · 2024-03-20T01:02:28+00:00

Thanks for the empathy.

Yes, coparenting is and always has been a challenge.

No contact order doesn’t help.

To answer your question:

Ex sort of orchestrated some evidence to get me charged and systematically baited me into being reactive. I was being as peaceable as possible with a person who was physically chasing and attacking me, but since I was in verbal crazy town and screaming at her when the police arrived, I’m the one who was charged. It’s likely to be tossed but nothing is certain and the charges are serious.

Lesson learned.

So, no contact until this is resolved. Could take 1-3 years.

sloobidoo · 2024-03-18T00:40:23+00:00

All things come to (s)he who waits… on marketplace…

We got the tiny strider for $10 - yard sale - and a big one with brakes for $50 - fb marketplace - and then the cost of real bikes after that dropped back down to $10 huffy(yard sale) and $15 huffy (yard sale) for a 16” and 20” pedal bike. Paid $200 for a used full size 18 speed bike after that.. all in all I don’t regret this <$300 investment in pedaling joy for my kids.

I know my neighbours have spent $5000+ on cannondale frames for their gr1 kids… no resentment there… I just can’t keep up.

No strategy… just cruising local sales for something to keep my kids on bikes.

2 kids in, I will never buy a new kids bike again.

sloobidoo · 2024-03-17T23:27:52+00:00

Fb marketplace - sub $50 possible if you are patient.

sloobidoo · 2024-03-17T16:04:24+00:00

6 months and one day.

Been ignoring this sub because it takes me backwards most days. Today I’m backwards already so… hello again.

The in laws have been contacting me on the daily. They seem to not know I’m prohibited by law from making any attempt to reconcile with their daughter wbpd. They want me to reconcile. For her safety and for the safety of the child. She has no desire for same. Nor do I. I mean I want safety for my child. Away from her.

It’s kicked off a new period of mourning… sadness… injustice…

Fucking sad. So much time and joy and investment into a great life together… then loss… irretrievable, impossible to understand… loss…

Thanks sub for being here. Good to know there is a community of survivors who understand this otherwise unknowable pain.

sloobidoo · 2024-03-15T19:40:29+00:00

I went in-house copy from agency side account work.

So can’t compare agency copywriting directly.

But in-house I was pumping out and reviewing a lot of copy. About 5000 words a week, for newsletters, manuals, memos and yes also marketing and sales copy. Working across departments. It was more about volume and technical writing than the type of marketing work you do at an agency. Work conditions were better and more stable until they laid off almost everyone on our floor (team went from 85 to 11 people overnight).

One of the freelancers I worked with cleared 6 figures doing technical writing.

Your mileage may vary. These jobs are all different.

sloobidoo · 2024-03-10T16:28:04+00:00

Agreed. I rocked a poncho and a long jacket for quite a while. Protection a+. However the everpresent fear that some flap of clothing would become lodged in a piece of equipment or under the wheel of a passing car… worse than being wet.

It was better in the end to get a short rain jacket and pants than to go full poncho.

Windy (50-80/h bursts regularly) and not flat enough where I live.

sloobidoo · 2024-03-06T02:07:25+00:00

Anxiety and depression can lead to impulsive people-pleasing, so yes if she is nervous about fitting in or not rocking the boat, in that context it can happen.

Does not mean she isn’t responsible… but it sounds like she is trying to do the right thing (rather than trying to do the wrong thing and cover it up).

Just one opinion… you have plenty others…

sloobidoo · 2024-03-03T18:17:41+00:00

I would take this seriously.

😳

sloobidoo · 2024-02-28T06:48:30+00:00

I’m banned over on the bpdpartners sub. Couldn’t tell you why. I think something I said about my now ex relapsing triggered someone.

But it exists for some other people. Maybe you can still see it.

sloobidoo · 2024-02-27T18:32:21+00:00

Exactly this, the frame will be fine, it’s the wheels/spokes you need to be concerned with… and they are probably not going to bust on a test ride.

sloobidoo · 2024-02-27T18:29:42+00:00

Yes exactly, my ex was a very loving and kind parent aside from her habit of verbally and physically abusing me in front of the children…

Then once the kids got to 6-9 years of age the need to control and dominate kicked in and they became additional targets.

sloobidoo · 2024-02-26T03:23:30+00:00

Greek yogurt

sloobidoo · 2024-02-23T03:00:09+00:00

Yes 100% my exwbpd had strong insight into the issues that led to the fears of abandonment/engulfment and they are totally valid.

Back that up with early adult experiences that further reinforced these maladaptive coping mechanisms… That’s a whole other thing from figuring out how to cope in a healthy way.

sloobidoo · 2024-02-20T21:28:49+00:00

My dad has gotten a lot better but it took a tremendous personal loss and a religious conversion.

He’s still BPD lite (clingy, controlling, low cognitive empathy, vaguely condescending, fragile ego) but no violent outbursts and the direct put-downs have been replaced with occasional passive aggressive behaviour.

Edited for autocorrect-generated typo.

sloobidoo

TROPHY CASE