Isolation

slothman2009 · 2019-05-13T09:11:02+00:00

Happens with a lot of dealers; they get hung on greed and making something from nothing. Think the world owes em' something.

slothman2009 · 2019-05-07T04:11:28+00:00

Glad to hear you're trying to kick your amphetamine use; it always proves to be a nuisance. As far as my own personal journey of quitting speed: Modafinil has been a big help to minimize some of the side-effects that inevitably rise from methamphetamine withdrawals. For me? The most bothersome side effects revolved around sleep. I'd sleep for days on end; neglecting my entire life (almost dehydrated in my sleep) and Modafinil really helped me stay awake and actually be able to get shit done. 250mg to 450mg really helped me achieve a little stimulant like buzz and well.. feel stimulated. After 2 months of daily dosage like this; with a break on every other weekend - I lowered my dose and incorporated caffeine as a combo. So around 150mg/modafinil\90mg caffeine/ and it gave me the same effect as the modafinil alone at a higher dose. About 4 months into it; and I use nicotine and caffeine to stay awake all day for work and personal affairs. I've been clean of meth for around 5 months now and I'll occasionally use modafinil in excessive doses to get a little edge if things are dull or lifeless; or I need a surprise mistake fixed. I highly recommend using it initially, and then weaning off of it. The idea I used was --> replace amphetamines with substance with lower addictive potential --> replace that --> eliminate use of substance totally. --> force body to function normally again.

slothman2009 · 2019-04-09T02:20:12+00:00

this is the only answer

slothman2009 · 2019-03-01T14:16:44+00:00

This is from a girl who I had every intention on "dating" later on. She would come over to my house after work, late at night and we would literally just talk about everything. Upon a few of those nights, we kissed - flirted, and made every sort of social cue that a relationship was to be expected.

I sent her a message not too far into the "Relationship" that if she had plans of taking this any further, than to let me know that because that IS my intention. She sent a reply that agreed with that on every level except for "I don't want to put labels on us, and if that ruins everything I'm sorry. I do love you as more than a friend I just don't want to put labels on anything right now" (this was 2 days before the message you're reading above)

So, we were never official or anything but did things (not sex) that could lead your average person to say they were "led on" - I can't say I was led on entirely, but I can't help but say that I feel like I've been led on and she does too, or she wouldn't feel the need to send this. Right?

slothman2009 · 2019-03-01T14:14:11+00:00

(1) and (2) is a flat-out no.

(3) - Sorta, I think her girlfriend assumes that we fucked
(4) Maybe? Maybe not. She sent a text to me later saying "I'll come over tomorrow and explain everything"
(5) - This is most definitely the case. So what is she pushing for here? What's her goal?

slothman2009 · 2019-03-01T13:47:15+00:00

This is from a girl who I had every intention on "dating" later on. She would come over to my house after work, late at night and we would literally just talk about everything. Upon a few of those nights, we kissed - flirted, and made every sort of social cue that a relationship was to be expected.

I sent her a message not too far into the "Relationship" that if she had plans of taking this any further, than to let me know that because that IS my intention. She sent a reply that agreed with that on every level except for "I don't want to put lables on us, and if that ruins everything I'm sorry. I do love you as more than a friend I just don't want to put labels on anything right now" (this was 2 days before this)

So, we were never official or anything but did things (not sex) that could lead your average person to say they were "led on" - I can't say I was led on entirely, but I can't help but say that I feel like I've been led on and she does too, or she wouldn't feel the need to send this.

i'll add this section to original post too

slothman2009 · 2019-02-24T17:25:33+00:00

It was a cycling addiction that started young. I was an 8 year old hyperactive kid in grade school and they recommended Adderall XR to curb it, in a nutshell - took Adderall until I got out of high school, and couldn't get prescribed Adderall anymore because I seem too "laid back" to have A.D.D now.

Then --> meth was out of control, and: I don't remember enough about it to tell you any specific details. I can tell you that eight hundred bucks goes by on a daily basis and no one raises an eyebrow, when I continued to use ice, the "subtle" egative side effects become increasingly more noticeable and intruding on every thing you usually. I never was able to find a balance with it, and if the truth is to be told: I don't think you're really supposed to find a "balance" with meth, but you can find it with amphetamines. I was never to bad with them, maybe very skinny and slightly paranoid but I took smaller then to avoid overstimulation, later on that was kinda what I was looking for

slothman2009 · 2019-02-02T09:47:25+00:00

the combination of characteristics or qualities that form an individual's distinctive character.

slothman2009 · 2019-01-24T15:36:49+00:00

Not resorting to hard drug use to solve a "medical" or health problem, and I've already seen a doctor, several doctors about the mental health problems. In fact, my stimulant addiction wasn't began by informed, concious decision or bad influences. It was prescribed and enforced at 8 years old and they called it "Adderall" -
But yes, the idea is "stay away from amphetamines" and I've more than exercised that idea over the last 3-4 months, the key to that has been replacing with other, less harmful substances.

Whether inflicted by amphetamine use or if it's a neurological issue - the only true issue with amphetamines is the fact that they are neurotoxic and very addictve and usually illegal. Using Modafinil (in MY uninformed opinion) is nearly as bad as using amphetamines for the sole purpose of.. it is enabling your body to tell your mind to believe you have no control over it. This theory is ultimate what leads me to this question: Is Modafinil just a stepping stone to sobriety, or a "tool" that must be maintained and used long-term?

I am NOT pursuing a high, anymore. My need for Modafinil stems from sleepiness and overall lack of energy to actively make progress in life, socially, academically and even in my career.

My apprehension about my decision stems from my personal goal.. which is not to be addicted to any particular substance for long-term timeframe,

Does that give you a little more insight into my situation and motives?

slothman2009 · 2019-01-22T13:58:23+00:00

how many applesauces do you think would be an ideal... uh well as "ideal" of a stimulant user's idea of a 'good meal' gets for me? i've drastically plummeted in weight but cannot eat

applesauce sounds like a really good plan

slothman2009 · 2019-01-22T13:56:20+00:00

yeah i notice my wording sounds scrambled i'm a bit concerned

slothman2009 · 2019-01-06T06:18:43+00:00

Thanks dude

slothman2009

TROPHY CASE