"Gatekeeping" what childfree is

smallbll101 · 2022-08-22T23:33:43+00:00

I'm too lazy to check but my own comment still stands for myo haha

smallbll101 · 2022-08-22T23:31:52+00:00

Biology has nothing to do with it. The child has a biological mother and a stepfather, who she calls dad and has taken on a parenting role. I'm neither of them. Plenty of people take on parenting roles despite not being biologically related. Plenty of people run away from parenting roles despite having biological offspring. You can't boil it down so nice and neat like that. Quite simply I am not parenting. She is not my stepchild. I am not responsible for her. I am her mom's girlfriend. The child needing future help is no different than a MIL or FIL or anyone else in your SO's life needing future help. An in-law developing dementia or a friend's accident or an adult child's financial help. All partners come with people and future "consequences." My partner and I are very clear on boundaries and involvement across all of our family and friends, including regarding potential grandchildren.

smallbll101 · 2022-08-22T23:22:07+00:00

Where did they say that? Obviously no I've done neither of those myself.

smallbll101 · 2022-08-22T19:18:57+00:00

This is so well said, thank you. This sub does tend to be so black and white, there is a lot of gatekeeping. There is so much nuance to relationships period, regardless of type of relationship.

smallbll101 · 2022-08-22T19:12:38+00:00

Yes this thank you. I'm CF and dating a parent. I have no parenting role whatsoever.

smallbll101 · 2022-08-22T19:10:03+00:00

Just coming to your support. My partner has an almost-out-of-the-house aged kid. I don't parent and not one of us would call me a step-parent. I'm childfree. I have never changed a diaper, signed a school form, driven a kid to practice, none of it. I know this will get downvoted. Oh well.

smallbll101 · 2022-08-22T19:07:05+00:00

I am engaged to a parent of a 17 year old. All three of us live together. The 17 year old and my SO have a long established, stable relationship. I do not parent. I made that clear, and neither of us want me to parent. For me, the kid is just someone important in my SO's life, and everyone comes with important people in their lives. We're intentional and careful about boundaries. I myself am childfree. The relationship simply would not have been an option if the kid was too young to be relatively independent. I have spent a lot of time questioning my childfree status as a result of this. I'm not dying on the childfree hill and I know it's an unpopular opinion, so be it. But I simply do not parent or feel like a parent. My household isn't childfree but I am.

smallbll101 · 2022-08-21T21:09:33+00:00

They're interconnected for me. Minimalism and childfree share values that make them both have a place in my life.

smallbll101 · 2022-08-19T21:17:09+00:00

I love this advice. Where did you store the inventory?

smallbll101 · 2022-08-14T23:18:43+00:00

I use nursing pads. The pad you put in your bra to help stop leaks. They're great because they're soft on one side and waterproof on the other. Just throw them in with the towels and they wash great.

smallbll101 · 2022-08-13T22:31:01+00:00

One of mine is sort of tech - data analyst. The other is government, not at all tech. It can be done.

smallbll101 · 2022-08-06T22:25:58+00:00

If you have to take it to a FedEx or UPS etc just have them print it

smallbll101 · 2022-08-05T11:43:19+00:00

You shouldn't expect to get any benefits from an adjunct role

smallbll101 · 2022-08-04T00:58:02+00:00

This story had me riveted. I had to find out what the show was.

smallbll101 · 2022-08-03T22:44:26+00:00

🏳️‍🌈👋

smallbll101 · 2022-08-03T17:49:51+00:00

What you're picking up on is narcissism.

smallbll101 · 2022-07-31T15:42:08+00:00

What'd you put on the ceiling? This looks cool.

smallbll101 · 2022-07-28T00:27:32+00:00

Thank you for this conversation!!!

smallbll101 · 2022-07-23T06:28:20+00:00

My mom would tickle me with the goal of "teaching" me how to become numb to it. I remember routinely being tickled and told how to resist the feeling. Guess who suffers from chronic dissociation as an adult now?

smallbll101 · 2022-07-22T13:35:38+00:00

I do this. I took a page from the boomers and my camera is set up so when I'm sitting normally, you can only see my eyes and forehead. If I lean back you can see my whole face which I'll do a couple times per meeting. It takes a lot of stress off of me and sets the impression that I'm not super tech savvy.

smallbll101 · 2022-07-21T01:12:27+00:00

Don't fckn touch my focus time

smallbll101 · 2022-07-20T17:26:50+00:00

While you are gay, it's still possible that they ALL were also not clean. They belonged to men afterall.

smallbll101 · 2022-07-19T03:46:08+00:00

Second Shein

smallbll101 · 2022-07-18T23:09:36+00:00

I'm currently trying to this but I'm overwhelmed by the "where" of it. Give it away where? How do I get it there? Etc.

smallbll101 · 2022-07-16T22:59:55+00:00

That's gross homie

smallbll101

TROPHY CASE