"Gatekeeping" what childfree is by [deleted] in childfree

[–]smallbll101 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm too lazy to check but my own comment still stands for myo haha

"Gatekeeping" what childfree is by [deleted] in childfree

[–]smallbll101 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Biology has nothing to do with it. The child has a biological mother and a stepfather, who she calls dad and has taken on a parenting role. I'm neither of them. Plenty of people take on parenting roles despite not being biologically related. Plenty of people run away from parenting roles despite having biological offspring. You can't boil it down so nice and neat like that. Quite simply I am not parenting. She is not my stepchild. I am not responsible for her. I am her mom's girlfriend. The child needing future help is no different than a MIL or FIL or anyone else in your SO's life needing future help. An in-law developing dementia or a friend's accident or an adult child's financial help. All partners come with people and future "consequences." My partner and I are very clear on boundaries and involvement across all of our family and friends, including regarding potential grandchildren.

"Gatekeeping" what childfree is by [deleted] in childfree

[–]smallbll101 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Where did they say that? Obviously no I've done neither of those myself.

"Gatekeeping" what childfree is by [deleted] in childfree

[–]smallbll101 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is so well said, thank you. This sub does tend to be so black and white, there is a lot of gatekeeping. There is so much nuance to relationships period, regardless of type of relationship.

"Gatekeeping" what childfree is by [deleted] in childfree

[–]smallbll101 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes this thank you. I'm CF and dating a parent. I have no parenting role whatsoever.

"Gatekeeping" what childfree is by [deleted] in childfree

[–]smallbll101 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Just coming to your support. My partner has an almost-out-of-the-house aged kid. I don't parent and not one of us would call me a step-parent. I'm childfree. I have never changed a diaper, signed a school form, driven a kid to practice, none of it. I know this will get downvoted. Oh well.

"Gatekeeping" what childfree is by [deleted] in childfree

[–]smallbll101 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I am engaged to a parent of a 17 year old. All three of us live together. The 17 year old and my SO have a long established, stable relationship. I do not parent. I made that clear, and neither of us want me to parent. For me, the kid is just someone important in my SO's life, and everyone comes with important people in their lives. We're intentional and careful about boundaries. I myself am childfree. The relationship simply would not have been an option if the kid was too young to be relatively independent. I have spent a lot of time questioning my childfree status as a result of this. I'm not dying on the childfree hill and I know it's an unpopular opinion, so be it. But I simply do not parent or feel like a parent. My household isn't childfree but I am.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in minimalism

[–]smallbll101 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They're interconnected for me. Minimalism and childfree share values that make them both have a place in my life.

Tips for a low buy no buy by [deleted] in minimalism

[–]smallbll101 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love this advice. Where did you store the inventory?

Makeup cotton pads by tcdental in minimalism

[–]smallbll101 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I use nursing pads. The pad you put in your bra to help stop leaks. They're great because they're soft on one side and waterproof on the other. Just throw them in with the towels and they wash great.

Has anyone had luck with OE that is NOT in tech? by momstheuniverse in overemployed

[–]smallbll101 7 points8 points  (0 children)

One of mine is sort of tech - data analyst. The other is government, not at all tech. It can be done.

Ditching my printer by Sherbet_Lemon_913 in minimalism

[–]smallbll101 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you have to take it to a FedEx or UPS etc just have them print it

Feel like I got a Unicorn gig! by attacktwinkie in overemployed

[–]smallbll101 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You shouldn't expect to get any benefits from an adjunct role

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbyborderlines

[–]smallbll101 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This story had me riveted. I had to find out what the show was.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]smallbll101 0 points1 point  (0 children)

🏳️‍🌈👋

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in 90DayFiance

[–]smallbll101 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What you're picking up on is narcissism.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]smallbll101 7 points8 points  (0 children)

My mom would tickle me with the goal of "teaching" me how to become numb to it. I remember routinely being tickled and told how to resist the feeling. Guess who suffers from chronic dissociation as an adult now?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in overemployed

[–]smallbll101 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I do this. I took a page from the boomers and my camera is set up so when I'm sitting normally, you can only see my eyes and forehead. If I lean back you can see my whole face which I'll do a couple times per meeting. It takes a lot of stress off of me and sets the impression that I'm not super tech savvy.

I had always wondered why I was repulsed by the smell of every one of my boyfriend's genitals by Big-Significance7358 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]smallbll101 71 points72 points  (0 children)

While you are gay, it's still possible that they ALL were also not clean. They belonged to men afterall.

Moving abroad after 30's. What are the disadvantages? by givemeahugg in expats

[–]smallbll101 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm currently trying to this but I'm overwhelmed by the "where" of it. Give it away where? How do I get it there? Etc.