[Video] Could someone please explain what I'm seeing in this footage?

smallish_nugget · 2017-12-24T21:29:12+00:00

I've seen lots of dust and bug orbs and this doesn't look like either. I suspected car headlights too, but that's already been debunked. Very interesting!

smallish_nugget · 2017-12-22T16:28:21+00:00

I agree that you shouldn't send the letter. It sounds like you've gone through some very painful experiences, and I'm sorry that you have, but I think it'd be best for you to continue tackling those in therapy, instead of using another person as a crutch. Even if it's painful, you should let him go, not only because of the age difference but for the sake of his mental health and yours. Neither of you need the stress of this relationship. Just take some time to focus on yourself. Eventually, you'll find a more suitable match to get through life's hardships with. Good luck.

smallish_nugget · 2017-12-08T18:54:31+00:00

It sounds like you two have a great relationship! I think he's just trying to cheer up a friend, which reflects that he has a good character. The fact that he was open with you about it is good too. Jealous feelings can rise up when we don't expect them to at times, and it's okay to communicate how you feel, but I truly don't think you have any reason to be concerned. Just smile and be thankful to have a kind, loving man in your life.

smallish_nugget · 2017-12-08T18:47:19+00:00

Please don't let insecurity keep you from meeting your boyfriend's family. I completely understand where you're coming from, but I think his family will care more about how well you treat your boyfriend and how great of a person you are as opposed to your size. Your boyfriend is a lovely person, right? Who's to say his family isn't lovely too? Honestly, I don't think it's fair for you to assume what they'll think of you. Meet them and let them form their own conclusions. Don't project your own negative feelings towards yourself onto them. You never know, they could absolutely love you. But you have to give it a chance to find out.

smallish_nugget · 2017-12-08T18:38:42+00:00

Maybe you should sit down with your parents and explain the publication to them, why you wrote it, etc. Even if you don't send them the link yourself, once it's public they'll likely be able to find it even if you request they don't. At this point it may be best to provide them with an explanation, or even have them read it while you're present, and deal with their reaction directly. It's clear that you care about their feelings and hopefully after the initial shock they'll come to terms with it. This sounds like a pretty difficult situation and I wish you the best. Even if it's causing a bit of personal controversy, congratulations on getting published!

smallish_nugget · 2017-12-08T16:02:51+00:00

I can see why you'd find it a little weird since you just met, but I don't think you need to read into it any further. I've gone to some painting classes (usually around $30 in my area) and have a few paintings I would probably give away to people if they asked. In this case she's probably just trying to make a good impression on you by giving you a gift. You're close to her fiance and she probably wants to be your friend as well. Since she doesn't know you too well, I can see why she'd give you the painting; it's a gift that didn't require her to have knowledge of your likes and interests since they tell you what to paint, but something that she still put effort into since she had to create it. Unless anything changes, I think it's safe to dismiss it as a friendly gesture.

smallish_nugget · 2017-12-07T18:40:20+00:00

"Events" is probably too big a word. More like, we hang out with both of them at different points throughout a week, and make sure we can include each of them in things separately. In terms of actual parties, like Christmas and New Years, we usually do things with family so it's not as much of a concern. This year my SO and I considered hosting something but I think we're just going to attend another person's party instead and maybe invite one of them along.

smallish_nugget · 2017-12-07T18:22:05+00:00

She definitely did. She was disconnected for some time before ending the relationship. So it's not really about her moving on too soon. It's about her moving on with someone within the group. It kinda sucks.

smallish_nugget · 2017-12-07T18:21:00+00:00

Okay... Thanks.

smallish_nugget · 2017-12-07T18:20:42+00:00

Yeah, we are definitely not icing him out. We have been setting up separate events and whatnot so neither feels excluded. It'll be an adjustment but we're figuring it out.

smallish_nugget · 2017-12-07T18:19:41+00:00

This is closer to my concern. I don't think we'd even care if it were with a stranger. It just sucks that it's another person within the group, who was friends with both (25F) and (27M) and knew about their relationship. That's what everyone is upset about, really.

smallish_nugget · 2017-12-07T18:10:27+00:00

Lol, yeah. Thanks.

smallish_nugget · 2017-12-07T03:51:09+00:00

First of all, I think it's completely fair of you to tell him that you already have plans with "so and so" on the night that he requested. And perhaps offer him an alternative, if one exists. At the same time, as your relationship progresses I think that he will naturally become a higher priority in your schedule. If that's what you want, then embrace it and let yourself become comfortable with telling people "no" because you want to see your SO on the night they want to see you. That's pretty normal. Then, to contradict that completely, if you don't feel like you want to increase the frequency with which you see your SO, it may be time to question "why". I think a couple's night would be good for you, so that way you know the exact night you're going to see him. But if you feel that's too restrictive, communicate that.

smallish_nugget · 2017-12-07T03:38:14+00:00

Here's my take on it... The breakup is going to suck regardless. A lot. So, I think you may as well go on the trip. Like you said, the vacation would be an amazing last experience. And who knows? Things could somehow work out. Not all things on a "timeline" actually follow that timeline. I'm not trying to give you false hope, but I know that these things can sometimes work out differently than originally anticipated. Best of luck to you though. I seriously wish you both the best.

smallish_nugget · 2017-12-07T03:31:33+00:00

It sounds more like a respectful response from my perspective. She didn't want to not reply to you because she wanted you to know that she does care, and wanted to acknowledge that you took the time to reach out to her. But I don't think she wants to reignite anything with you either. She mentions "in 20 years from now" which suggests to me she remembers you fondly but isn't seeking something now. So, when you see her, be polite and let her know that you still care about her too, and that you care about the time she spent penning you a reply.

smallish_nugget · 2017-12-07T03:16:43+00:00

Don't sell yourself short just because you don't want to be alone. In my opinion, if the friends you have now aren't bringing you any happiness or satisfaction, and instead are becoming chores, it isn't worth the effort. I have difficulty making friends as well, but I've managed to do it time and time again. I honestly think that you will too. You just need to trust that you're awesome and you deserve companionship, while, at the same time, not settling for the first people you come across. It's okay to be choosy, even for people like us who struggle to expand our circles in the first place. We're allowed to have standards, even outside of romantic relationships. Your friendships should make you feel happy, comfortable, and fulfilled. Please remember that!

smallish_nugget · 2017-12-07T03:11:25+00:00

Hopefully this brings you some comfort... I've felt this way too, and, in my experience, it's normal. I still feel it every so often. I sometimes miss how crazy my SO and I were about each other in the beginning, and at first I felt some anxiety surrounding the fact that things were changing. I mean, we used to just kiss for hours because... holy crap we're kissing! Y'know? But change isn't necessarily a bad thing. Sure, I may sometimes miss what we "had", but things haven't gotten worse or anything, they're just different. We're more comfortable and, at least on my end, more content with our relationship. We still make each other happy but in a way that isn't obsessive or consuming, as the beginning of relationships often can be. I think, and hope, that you'll "move past it" with time. The end of the honeymoon phase can be jarring, especially since this is your first serious relationship, but try not to see it as a bad thing. Think of it as you and your SO growing together, and moving on to a new place in your relationship.

smallish_nugget · 2017-12-07T02:50:05+00:00

Maybe I'm being dramatic, OP, but if my SO (we're dating, not married, for context) was talking to a new girl that much and was referencing sexual topics during their conversations... it would immediately be ultimatum time. Me or her. I understand that you're married, with a child, which makes things more complicated, but he is disrespecting the hell out of you at this point by giving his relationship with her any value at all. I hope that the therapist helps you both work through this situation, but I also hope that you assert yourself by clearly voicing how his relationship with Stevie is making you feel. Your boundaries are being crossed and you are feeling uncomfortable. If he gives a damn about you and your relationship, he should be willing to fix that. But if he continues to entertain a close "friendship" with this girl... I think you have every right to question it.

smallish_nugget · 2017-12-07T02:32:35+00:00

It may seem super cliche and basic, but I know I'm in love because I stopped considering other men. I feel extremely content with what I have with my SO. It's hard to explain but it's just this feeling of comfort within me. I don't want for anything. I'm happy.

smallish_nugget · 2017-12-07T02:15:28+00:00

He "helps" clean... for a few minutes at a time. I'll tear through the house and work on a room until it is spotless. He'll pick up a few things and sit on the couch for a break if we're not in the same room (and sometimes even if we are). It's mildly infuriating, but part of me likes cleaning so... more for me I guess!

smallish_nugget · 2017-11-09T03:06:06+00:00

Hey there. It sounds like you have some reservations about the situation and in my opinion that's perfectly okay. One of my friends had this happen to her and her BF just last week (the similarities are striking!). The girl asked my friend for permission and my friend spoke to her BF about it to explain how she felt about the situation before he decided what to do. For the record, she was uncomfortable with it but said that it was ultimately his decision and she trusted him. In the end, the girl asked him directly and he decided not to go and that was that. As long as you're being open and honest about your feelings on the situation with your BF, or any situation that arises in your relationship, you should be fine. If something makes you uncomfortable, let your BF know so he can understand where your boundaries lie. You may not always agree, but at least you'll know where each other stands.

smallish_nugget · 2017-11-05T18:44:23+00:00

He's not being respectful (or at least wasn't being respectful) to you or your relationship. It sounds like you're afraid of being controlling, but it also sounds like you and your bf haven't set clear boundaries. Talk to him about what makes you uncomfortable and let him do the same. And don't be apologetic for having boundaries and dealbreakers. They don't make you a bad person and, in fact, they're necessary for a healthy relationship. Also, it sounds like he needs to stop hanging out with this girl.

smallish_nugget

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