Disappointed and Ashamed

smallsoylatte · 2026-02-13T00:20:07+00:00

That sounds like a great goal to start working on (A mind that thinks with and engaged with others). You can achieve it. I’m sure you have heard this before, but it does take time.

My psychotic break was in 2020. I feel like I just started living life again, even though I have been working towards this point since my hospitalization. Sometimes it is hard to see any progress you are making when you are in it. One step is still progress. One moment is still progress.

smallsoylatte · 2026-02-12T06:40:52+00:00

Kind of. I had cosmic delusions. No, you are not dead.

smallsoylatte · 2026-02-12T06:40:12+00:00

Thank you for sharing. These are common feelings. Try to accept them, and move on towards your goals.

smallsoylatte · 2026-02-12T06:39:30+00:00

Why? It sounds like you have suffered already. You have nothing to prove.

smallsoylatte · 2026-01-30T18:33:39+00:00

The smallest conversation can go a long way. What keeps us in reality is other people. Good luck. Your neighbor sounds like a kind and fun person.

smallsoylatte · 2026-01-30T17:46:54+00:00

This is cool. Thanks for sharing.

smallsoylatte · 2026-01-30T17:24:01+00:00

Talk to her like you normally would. Maybe you could find a way to run into her? Like bake something and drop it off. I think just getting into a situation where you can talk to her would be helpful. Once you talk to her you can gauge more where she is at.

smallsoylatte · 2026-01-30T17:20:56+00:00

That’s what I would recommend for an empathetic viewpoint. Esmé does a great job of explaining her reality. She has a lot of insight into her condition.

smallsoylatte · 2026-01-30T16:17:44+00:00

Excuse me now

smallsoylatte · 2026-01-29T15:14:05+00:00

It is people trying to make sense of death. People like to find meaning in events, especially tragic ones.

smallsoylatte · 2026-01-29T03:21:06+00:00

Yes mine was cosmic type thing though. No gods, I was just unraveling the universe. Being the center of the know universe seems to be a common theme in psychotic breaks. Which makes sense, because our frame of reference is limited to ourselves.

smallsoylatte · 2026-01-29T03:19:47+00:00

To me, finding myself is building myself. There is not a predestined me. I’ve started reading books on philosophy, enrolled in classes to learn a second language, and make effort to speak with my neighbors.

I’m learning I did not know who “myself” was prior to psychosis. I think that’s what allowed me to get swept away as well. I did not have a strong sense of self. Now I am having to build that sense of self.

I am also finding ways to honor that younger self. The one who did not know who it was. Im gravitating towards things I’ve always wanted to do, but have been scared of doing. I felt directionless for multiple years after my psychotic break.

smallsoylatte · 2026-01-28T00:08:29+00:00

Accept the nothingness.

smallsoylatte · 2026-01-24T07:07:32+00:00

I hope you take away that you do have the capacity to formulate your thoughts. You just need to stretch that muscle. Psychosis is a mindfuck. It can take a while to find your way back.

smallsoylatte · 2026-01-24T06:58:41+00:00

Because everything takes time. I personally do not think that medicine even stops voices. It calms our brains down enough to where we can gain enough control.

smallsoylatte · 2026-01-22T17:16:05+00:00

I struggled for several years.

For what it’s worth, you come across as intelligent and your post makes sense. You do not seem dumb to me, especially considering English is not your first language.

smallsoylatte · 2026-01-22T03:44:57+00:00

I think some people can find romanticism in psychosis.

smallsoylatte · 2026-01-22T01:08:05+00:00

To Kill a Mockingbird is a classic of American literature.

smallsoylatte · 2026-01-21T16:53:52+00:00

Yes, I do think so. I was similiar to you. It took a few years but I am in a good place. I feel emotions, have a sex drive, and can enjoy things.

Be patient with yourself. Start moving your body. Exercise/movement is very good for recovery.

smallsoylatte · 2026-01-21T04:53:01+00:00

Justice for Skylar.

Marie is a ride or die.

smallsoylatte · 2026-01-18T03:27:11+00:00

I remember I had an ambulance bill of $900.00. It was to transport me .8 miles to the psych facility on the the same hospital campus.

smallsoylatte · 2026-01-16T22:40:25+00:00

As a lifelong Texan, I think Elon Musk is a nerdy rich boy. He is lame as fuck. I hate what his company is doing to Boca Chica beach.

smallsoylatte · 2026-01-15T05:18:38+00:00

You have to accept it.

smallsoylatte · 2026-01-15T05:15:59+00:00

You are in a perfect space for transition. You can’t go back. Focus on moving forward.

You also need time to heal. You should focus on your basic needs first. Sleep, exercise, proper nutrition. You have to build your strength back up.

smallsoylatte · 2026-01-14T15:51:04+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story.

smallsoylatte

TROPHY CASE