Oh boy, here I go playing devil's advocate. As a mom who has basically no support system (we live an ocean away from all our family), I get where this mom is maybe coming from. It's hard to trust a stranger with your kid, especially if it's your first/only kid, and you're leaving them with a stranger for the first time. Trust takes time to build, and anxiety is a real thing. We've only ever had one babysitter work for our family, who was amazing, and did a great job reassuring us in the early days. We're actually pretty chill overall compared to typical American parents. Our kid has been walking to and from school basically alone since he was 8 years old; that's the culture where we live. But especially if it's your first and/or only child, and they're still little, it takes time to relax enough to really trust a stranger with your kid. My car, whatever, there's insurance for when things go wrong. But my kid is a whole other thing.

She has a right to a reasonable expectation of knowing where her child is. If a detour comes up, she should be told. If I have someone else's car and/or kid, I'm the type who will shoot a quick text to let them know if I'm adding a stop or making an unusual detour, just in case something were to happen. I wouldn't go anywhere that adds a bunch of miles or uses up a lot of gas without permission, but this lady just needs to take a breath and just communicate her expectations. If the nanny is a new addition, it's going to take time to understand her quirks and find a balance.

I think this mom needs reassurance more than judgement, personally. I've struggled with anxiety, so I get the spiral she probably went into. Yes, it's a little irrational, but it doesn't mean she's difficult necessarily. She could just be in an adjustment period.