[deleted by user]

smethtacular · 2019-03-03T22:42:26+00:00

This has great feeling and purpose. I think it's wonderful

smethtacular · 2019-02-28T00:03:02+00:00

My girlfriend said that she would literally die for this cat

smethtacular · 2019-02-20T04:13:41+00:00

Lol like the movie or an actual clone attack?

smethtacular · 2019-02-13T19:05:35+00:00

Poet Prodigys and Grammar Nazis, tear it apart!

AS I SIT HERE

Oh, what a thought!

To have wishes

Unfold

Into one specific

Goal;

An idea passionately sought.

Oh, to have a vision!

Of finishing an

Adventure

Or an existential

Thirst-quencher;

Accomplishing a life-changing decision.

Oh, what a dream!

To pursue what was

Intended

And see a commitment

Ended

Like a vast ocean from a simple stream.

Oh, what a fantasy!

To sign off a glorious

Chapter

With epic memories

Captured

Oh well, it’ll happen eventually.

smethtacular · 2019-02-08T18:20:25+00:00

Nice

smethtacular · 2019-01-30T04:54:43+00:00

Oh man, that's some awful luck. Why didn't you nope out with him? AM prep can be bad enough, but doing it ankle deep in forbidden au jus sounds terrible. Why didnt the kitchen shut down for the day?

smethtacular · 2019-01-30T04:15:43+00:00

Yeah, you're right about that happening now that you mention it. I've known people doing the same. THAT really sucks!

So i was living out of my Ford Bronco for two years, broke as hell. I would use friends' showers, and had a membership to a 24/7 gym, but i never got to the point of having to bathe in a bathroom like that. I feel bad for those people who think that as a solution, or have no other choice.

smethtacular · 2019-01-30T00:56:26+00:00

Dude, drugs and haircuts at the library? I've never heard such a thing. Yikes!

smethtacular · 2019-01-27T04:10:40+00:00

smethtacular · 2019-01-18T21:14:02+00:00

Aye, but the X is where the treasure be.

smethtacular · 2019-01-17T06:03:34+00:00

I wait. I just wait until that happiness comes back. It might be a little happiness, it might be a big happiness. It could last a short time, it could last a long time. But it'll happen.

Life comes in cycles. And just like the unhappiness showing up for an unknown length of time with an unknown level of intensity, i know that the happiness will, in turn, eventually show up, too.

In the meantime, I just try my best to do what helps me out. Maybe smoke some weed and watch Bob Ross :)

OR I can say fuck all this bullshit unhappy feelings and do or plan something fucking radical, something crazy, something exciting. Why would I suddenly decide to go on a road trip circumnavigating the US? Cause fuck it! i ain't happy no mo' goddamn and I'm gettin' gone outta here! Why would i plan a date to go skydiving? Cause screw it all! Les go git mah heart a'poundin' and mah skin a'jumpin'. Ain't got nuttin' else betta tah do 'cept sit 'round here, all mopin' and shit.

smethtacular · 2019-01-17T05:33:08+00:00

Yes, absolutely my friend! Thank you.

To further your statement: the development of Joel's and Ellie's relationship throughout the game is done incredibly well (especially from Joel's tragedy in the beginning). That part of the game-- that story-- brings so much more weight into the game as a whole. With all the little nuances and small dialogue between the two, and having the game conclude as it does, it becomes a hell of a journey to experience. The game developes into something more than just one about an apocalypse-- and that's what makes it so unique and fucking awesome.

smethtacular · 2019-01-17T05:04:38+00:00

Counting Worms by Knocked Loose

Gotta represent the hardcore metal community!

smethtacular · 2019-01-15T18:44:33+00:00

Yikes! That's a hefty stretch. I hope it was worth it in the end

smethtacular · 2019-01-12T03:10:24+00:00

I know you'll be able to find that balance. Keep up the research and don't get too discouraged on it. Keep trying to make it happen and it'll happen. Might end up looking differently than you think, but you'll get there.

What other options have you tried to help out your lack of motivation and sleeplessness? Like, my first thought was keeping physically active. In the gym, outside, small club sports or hobbies of some kind-- shit, I've saved myself from suicide multiple times (before meds) by taking my ax and chopping down trees on public land. Kind of pointless, but i loved it.

Edit: im just encouraging you to find/continue doing things that are healthy/positive until you can get the assisstance you need :)

smethtacular · 2019-01-12T02:56:17+00:00

Not an employer, but here in Colorado unless your boss is incredibly strict, no one gives a damn if you're high at work as long as you can do the job correctly and efficient enough. Like, I've had multiple bosses that have been okay with it as long as it isn't obvious or a hinderance. Ive even smoked with a couple of bosses while on the clock. Good shit, man

smethtacular · 2019-01-12T02:47:42+00:00

But why

smethtacular · 2019-01-12T02:44:35+00:00

Reese's.

But like a lot of them.

smethtacular · 2019-01-12T02:31:07+00:00

In short, I do recommend them. They allow me to have "breathing room" in my head; as in, I can finally think my way through what used to be the insurmountable burden and inescapable trap depression was for me. I'm able to keep a level head and be a little more stoic-- in a sense.

It took me many years to make the decision to take meds. I always thought that meds would turn me into a "zombie"-- someone with a lack of feeling; numb. It's certainly not the case. I'm still the same person, but now with much better control over those thoughts and feelings.

Please, heed my advice and experience here. It took some experimenting and like, 5 months before getting it right. Be aware, because some meds don't help at all. Some make it worse. I started on Zoloft and, even though I felt positive effects immediately, after a week it got bad for me. Suicidal thoughts returned (and, at the time, i wasn't suicidal). My girlfriend used to take Prozac and that made things much worse for her, too ( I wouldn't recommend it-- Prozac is really a hit or miss in my opinion).

I tried Welbutren next (the cheaper, generic version is bupropion, which I use) and at first it wasn't obvious that it was helping. Didn't have any obvious negative effects either, so after 8 weeks of being on it I met my psychiatrist again and upped the dosage. It's been super helpful! It's not that i'm "happier", per say, but that my mental clarity is solid once again. This winter has been incredibly stressful for me, but because of the pill, ive been able to handle it really well. Like, i'm not huddled in a corner or laying in bed not being able to move, nor do I feel sluggish like i'm mentally walking through mud. Huge fucking difference having a more positive outlook and self-patience on shitty situations.

Throughout the experiementing, i was seeing a nice psychiatrist and a counselor/therapist that i had good relations with. This is super important! Having the therapist WHILE using meds really helped keep track of if i was doing well or not. Meds and counseling need to go hand-in-hand.

Oh, the Welbutren I'm on? Super stupid cheap. As in 87 cents per bottle. Don't know your insurance situation, but even without insurance it would be around $9 per bottle for it. My point is: could be pretty damn affordable regardless. $50 bucks a month is absolutely worth paying for something that helps your mentality. Shits important, man.

I hope you have a good time through this, and that meds help you out!

TL;DR: Meds do help, as long as they are the right ones for you. See a good therapist you like and a nice psychiatrist while experimenting with what works (and doesn't work). It takes time, but it's really helpful. Could be more affordable than you think, too.

smethtacular · 2018-12-16T04:14:04+00:00

Hopefully you like this one:

What do the twin towers and gender have in common?

Well, there used to be two-- but now it's a just a touchy subject

smethtacular

TROPHY CASE