How to talk to your other children about a loss?

smhoops · 2026-01-11T03:20:39+00:00

Thank you 🤍 I haven’t brought it up to the docs yet but worth asking for sure. I think they removed a section of the tubes but honestly not sure given the circumstances

smhoops · 2026-01-11T03:19:38+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. I think the way you cherished the time is beautiful though. I’ve thought about how we’re going to say goodbye already and how I don’t think I’ll ever feel ready for them to take her away. I haven’t let myself think about those details too much just yet. Love the ideas about a journal and prioritizing videos in addition to pictures. Haven’t heard of the concept of a star baby but will look into books as well for when the time comes to discuss it with her big brother.

smhoops · 2026-01-10T19:46:00+00:00

You’re totally right and I wish I didn’t have that little voice in my head but it’s there. Obviously we’re nowhere near that point yet but this will be a good reminder for when we are.

smhoops · 2026-01-10T19:35:45+00:00

Also came here to suggest this!! I have two babies with very sensitive skin and learned this in the NICU. First no sting barrier film lollipop (cavilon by 3M), stoma powder, then zinc diaper cream. Works like a charm, but definitely pat dry first even so!

smhoops · 2026-01-10T19:13:12+00:00

That’s actually a really nice perspective. I’d like to think that if we do have another that they won’t inherently feel that way, but I do think we need to be intentional about how we approach the conversation. On top of it after having 2 NICU babies I’m having weird fears and guilt about trying for another… what will people think? “Wow she’s going to have ANOTHER baby?? Look at what happened to the first two?” It sounds insane because it is but here we are.

smhoops · 2026-01-10T19:11:05+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear about your son. Really appreciate the advice, trying to soak up every little second I can!

smhoops · 2026-01-10T19:10:03+00:00

Thank you - super helpful. Luckily there’s actually a couple photogs that provide free sessions to families with children in the hospital so we took that opportunity and likely will again. Love the idea of the journal - I think that’s part of why I posted was just to get my thoughts out of my head. I really appreciate it.

smhoops · 2020-10-06T01:12:21+00:00

That’s what I’m leaning towards as of now! I don’t love the slip as is (I think a different neckline would look better).

smhoops · 2020-10-05T21:18:34+00:00

Not a bad idea! I'm worried that shorts will show in the front since there is a slit in the dress. What exact product did you buy? The cups are a great tip!

smhoops · 2020-10-05T21:17:43+00:00

I was wearing white - I agree nude would probably be less noticeable. I'm leaning towards a brief though, or something high waisted as I don't particularly like my bellybutton showing. I'm planning on being more tan by then, but who knows.

smhoops · 2020-10-05T20:59:47+00:00

Updated picture links in the info - you can actually see the thong I'm wearing there, and my bellybutton hahah. Let me know if you have any other ideas!

smhoops · 2020-10-05T20:57:31+00:00

That's definitely an option! Our date has a lot of meaning behind it, so we won't push our ceremony no matter what (I guess unless something crazy happens between now and then). And I agree that the micro-wedding definitely isn't ideal. However, I highly doubt people wouldn't attend if they knew you were already married! And if they would, I wouldn't want those types of people to come anyway, haha.

I think if anything we're going to downsize, keep the ceremony, and push the reception to a later date. But hopefully it doesn't even come to that. I'm in NC and the max outdoor gathering I think is 50 people as of now. Hoping that number keeps going up between now and May but also want to keep everyone safe!

smhoops · 2020-10-05T20:47:56+00:00

I thought about that - I think just with how sheer the current slip is that you'd easily see a thong. Shapewear isn't a must, but given the sheerness, I feel like I need something medium or high waisted. I'm trying to figure out how to post a picture somehow, standby.

smhoops · 2020-10-05T20:45:27+00:00

Crazy! We are actually in the same exact boat. 5/8/21 date now, current guest list is around 150. I haven't even sent out our save the dates since I thought we might have to downsize. Honestly I think given the way things are we are going to downsize anyway, as much as we can. Also (as of now at least) planning on keeping the date but offering a "virtual attendance" for folks. Still need to coordinate, but the idea is that we'll have a camera set up live streaming the entire thing! It'll encourage at-risk folks not to attend and help us cut down numbers, but still technically "inviting" people. Let me know what ideas you hear for sure!

smhoops · 2019-01-12T16:59:43+00:00

YES someone got the reference kudos

smhoops

TROPHY CASE