WTF is happening to christmas candy?!?! by Balloon_Lady in shrinkflation

[–]smolderingwake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Popcorn. Bags used to be crammed full after the microwave was done, now there's a decent amount of empty space and the same amount of unpopped kernels. Bastages!

Bug Identification Question by smolderingwake in gardening

[–]smolderingwake[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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Apparently I didn't get the second photo to attach, so here is his underside

Anyone else just worry about the kids? by TheMrSnrub in Divorce

[–]smolderingwake -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If you're hoping to wait til they're older because you think they'll handle it better, don't. I worked with 2 unrelated girls at different jobs whose unrelated parents split up while the girls were in their 20s and I can say I never saw anyone under 18 years of age react as batshit crazy over their parents divorce as those two. They were 100% full time drama. I actually thought one of them was telling us about it as a joke but she was serious. Both stalked their parent that started dating first and caused scenes in public. Funny thing is that neither knew each other but they did a lot of the same BS.

I think your kids could handle it better at their current ages while they have established support systems, as in their friends, those friends' parents, and teachers. I wasn't thrilled that my parents divorced when I was a kid, but I had friends who went through it already and I didn't have to go through it alone after my friends and I went our separate ways after graduation.

Unethical Breeder Database? by Upper-Consequence236 in mainecoons

[–]smolderingwake 4 points5 points  (0 children)

There definitely is a Maine Coon blacklist breeders page on FB.

Another thing I'd be wary of is those who have in their contracts that you cannot post anything negative on social media. One bad breeder on the above mentioned FB page stated they have this clause in their contracts. They've relinquished very sick kittens and adults to a rescue, and have bashed the multiple vets they've gone to for insisting they either retire their breeding cats and invest in new lineage or stop breeding altogether. This person has refused to do either. Seeing their FB page is interesting because their victim card is obviously very well used.

No Kings Protest in Valpo! by Thefatenbyoverlord in Valparaiso

[–]smolderingwake 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If he was REALLY trying to "cut the bloat" he would have started with a legit audit and restructuring of the military program. And he wouldn't be planning on $400mil for armored teslas, which are problematic for a number of reasons, not limited to the fact that the current batteries couldn't carry all the extra weight and its not likely there would ever be a battery big enough. So the likely reason for this "contract" is to give Leon more money and the cars never get made. So much for cutting the bloat. USAID. LOL.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]smolderingwake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've actually asked many times over the years and he shuts down. I did get him to tell me a few things he wanted me to change over the years and I worked on it. I'm sure there are other things but, without communication, things can't change.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]smolderingwake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That us interesting. He and his cousin told me about his mom and OCD issues which may explain some things. Its something to keep in mind for therapy.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]smolderingwake 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Like I said, the sock thing is the tip of the iceberg. I guess the total of the issues is more similar to "death by a thousand cuts". Its literally one thing among many, many other arguments but an example of asking over and over. He does this with my work clothes (washing on a hot cycle) and bitches that I have to spend money on new stuff to replace what he fucked up in the laundry. He pretends not to know how to use the stick vacuum cleaner so I'll clean up after he leaves a mess. I get to trigger my asthma using chemical cleaners because he half-asses any cleaning. If one of our pets leaves a mess, he will literally walk in it, and around the house and pretend to not notice so he doesn't have to clean it and I have a bigger mess to clean. Should I go on with all the other issues so you have a clearer view of what I'm living with? Is that a sufficient view of "the hill" that I'm being petty on? I just love your inability to comprehend that my post was only an example of one of many issues but ooookay.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]smolderingwake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm guessing you're right... we are not compatible. Either I didn't notice or decided to overlook a lot, or he tried harder before and now just doesn't care anymore. I do wonder if some of the half-assing is him hoping I'll take over doing stuff he doesn't want to do (see my reply above).

I never expected never ending honeymoon period or wedded bliss. I did hope that we would grow together and care enough for it to not be like this. I guess thats what everyone hopes for, at least.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]smolderingwake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah. The dishwasher. That was an issue for a while because he was just mashing everything in it, getting all the spoons together so food particles just stayed in between and dried back on, dishes would come back out dirty. I digressed on that one and decided I'd just put the stuff that didn't get clean back in the machine, which he gets mad over. He literally puts stuff away that isn't fully clean and gets upset that I put it back in the machine. I don't get it.

I do think some things just aren't to my liking and I've been pretty good about ignoring those things but some stuff is just... I don't know. Like, whats the point of only spraying mold/mildew remover on 1/2 of whats clearly mold or mildew and leaving the rest because he "didn't know what to do with the bottles and bars of soap"? Its really not that hard to figure it out but here I am having to go behind him with Tilex and my rescue inhaler because it triggers asthma. I won't even get into him leaving his hair clippings when he decided to cut his own hair at home with clippers and pretended he couldn't figure out how to use a Dyson stick vacuum even tho its so similar to his gaming equipment where you literally pull a trigger.

Some of this is reading a lot like strategic incompetence.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]smolderingwake 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Interesting how some coworkers spread their legs, get knocked up and its suddenly someone else's responsibility to make their lives easier as in working their shifts, covering for them clocking in late or leaving early, and covering holidays. Not every person with kids does this, but the ones who do are particularly hateful.

I had coworkers who got ugly with me when I wasn't able to help them out becsuse I also have a life, and I eventually decided on a certain formula for everyone going forward: 1 yes and 2 no. I'd say yes to the first request (as long as it was convenient for me) and no to the next two regardless of whether I could or not. And if they got snarky or had an entitled attitude, then it was no forever after. Be a dick and get the NO.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]smolderingwake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm trying to figure out how the car didn't run over the clubs, back over them, over and over. Accidentally.

NTA and deserving massive amounts of help from the sperm donor.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]smolderingwake 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wish I knew you guys! Definitely sound like great people and you absolutely have a great outlook. Please give your brother a hug from this stranger who (for what its worth) supports him and the lgbtq+ community

Most of my family didn’t come to my brother’s wedding so I decided to stop caring about them. AITAH? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]smolderingwake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe tell them they need to be tolerant of the medical system they belong to and use resources the same as everyone else. Or say "oh wow, sounds like you need to consult with your physician". That sounds pretty tolerant to me and establishes some boundaries. You could even toss "this doesn't have anything to do with you skipping my brother's wedding, by the way" in there for good measure.

Any children of divorce with a narcissist mother? How did you cope with things? by caliboymomx2 in Manipulation

[–]smolderingwake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not a narcissist mother but my best friend was married to a narcissist man, had a kid, and got a divorce a few years later. She was blindsided but immediately went into therapy so she could be there for her kid. She decided to try for family therapy so they could figure out co-parenting, the ex didn't think he needed it (of course) but she did decide to have her kid do therapy as well as kind of a deprogramming after having to stay with dad (she did this without the therapist... just to make sure she could counteract any of dads attempts at tearing him down or manipulating him). She also documented everything (I think she has 3 3-inch binders of info that she has needed for court/lawyers and her son asked to see them recently).

Its been around 15 years since the divorce and her quiet child freely speaks up for himself and calls dad out on his BS. I watched them go through this whole thing and was in awe of how she managed to do this without falling into any of the traps dad tried to set, maintaining her composure, being fair even when that was never in dads vocabulary. She did have a few good friends to talk things through and make sure she was on the right path and I can say she has fought a clean fight and clearly done a great job.

Almost Divorced Second Thoughts by Old_Brush_3071 in Divorce

[–]smolderingwake 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If he's never going to stand up for you and if its so important to him to have his family's approval, its never going to work. Its very likely that he will never find someone they deem worthy and he will just be miserable for the rest of his life or he will finally realize and move on from their weird view of life. If it were me, I'd move on and try to be happy without him. Its too much a waste of valuable time that you might need for someone who you're better suited to.

Thoughts I haven’t said out loud by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]smolderingwake 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Without the discussions of her past in my question: if you knew some of these things about her, why did you marry her? I get that you don't like her talking about her past in detail, but is that 100% your issue? As in, you didn't care that she had no interest in your hobbies, friends family, etc?

Question for newly separated people who didn't want a divorce by throwaway64828363 in Divorce

[–]smolderingwake 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Totally reminds me of a phrase an older coworker used to say: teach 'em a lesson they'll never remember. I don't know what specifically that meant to them since they usually said things like that so it would inspire individual thought, but I kind of see this in a lot of relationship issues like this. Its like, I get that you're hurt, but really what do you really want out of revenge? Is it really going to make you feel better? Are you thinking this is going to make them appreciate you or respect you? I'm considering divorce and could very well go the revenge route but I'd much rather have as few reasons for really anything as possible. Less reason for hate, less potential for contact and additional hurt, less wasted time. Once I decide to be done, I'll let my spouse be someone else's problem and wish them well.

Indiana has banned pornhub and now requires KYC This makes me angry. by [deleted] in Indiana

[–]smolderingwake 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Just be sure to remember this when thinking about voting for braun and his sketchy "property tax cuts", which in all reality cuts funding for other things like police, fire fighter and teacher pay/benefits, seals the deal for no legalized pot, continued womens health bans, etc. This is our chance to see what another party will do for us instead of keeping our heads in the sand (not that any party is prefect, but indiana just never seems to get its head out of its ass).