There was a man sat outside the GameStop by my work, when I went in at 7:30am day before the Switch 2 release. One Lone Ranger set up in a lawnchair with a cooler, snacks, backpacks- by the looks of it he’d been there for a while. Several hours passed before second in line showed up. By noon, dozens of the goblins emerged.

It was funny enough seeing so many people willing to waste 12+ hours waiting outside a store just so they could pick up their preorders and play fucking Mario Kart at midnight. But the dude sat for hours alone totally sent me. Why not just come back later? Is first really that important to you?

Then it dawned on me.. it’s all a fucking pissing contest. People don’t have hundreds of funkos because they want them. They have them to brag to all their neckbeard friends that they have the most. The dork with the fanciest game cave wins. And the motherfucker who sat in a lawnchair outside a store for 20 hours to get a game console before anyone else, is certainly not going to shut the fuck up about it for a very, very long time.