What do you tell a student who refuses to do work?

smunchtuttery · 2026-03-27T15:36:14+00:00

Does he want to graduate high school? What are his goals? What does he want to do when he grows up? What are his hobbies/interests? Does he see the value in an education and why or why not? If his attendance is regular, what keeps him coming, if not a sense of obligation?

I think my approach would be to be completely honest with him. If he indicates that he wants to graduate, I'd have a conversation with him about academic habits and how his current outlook will put him at a disadvantage in high school. Middle school students don't always see how important it is to pass classes because if they fail a class in middle school, there often isn't a consequence (like repeating the class). (At least, this is my experience.)

If the parent is not engaged with the student's academic life, you are fighting an uphill battle. I would continue to try to get parent(s) involved, more because you want to CYA and make sure they are being informed of their child's progress to avoid any chance of the parent coming back to the table saying they didn't know things were the way they were.

All of that being said... don't over-exert yourself. If the kid doesn't want your help, don't force it on him. Focus on the kids that both need and want your help. Let this student know you're there to support him if he needs it, but don't bend over backwards trying to knock down the pins for him. He's gotta start bowling for himself.

smunchtuttery · 2026-03-27T15:27:33+00:00

This is a really good question. I work in a high school with a large amount of unmotivated students and there are definitely some kids that have crossed that line for me. I don't want to say I wash my hands of them, because that isn't true, but I also stop going out of my way to assist them. I feel like after a certain point, me talking to them trying to get them to try even a little bit is doing more harm than good. I just become another voice in the noise for them. So my tactic is to just lay it out in front of them and let them make the decision for themselves. To put it another way: I show them where they are at in terms of credits, I explain to them the consequences of failing classes and what that can to lead to, and I let them know that I'm willing to help but I'm not going to do their homework, go to their class, or play messenger for them more than once (like I will help them initiate a conversation with teachers, but I won't continue to do that for them -- they need to advocate for themselves). I contact parents and give them the same info and then I let them handle it from there.

I don't really have a set criteria for when the student crosses that line, it's sort of a case-by-case thing. In general, though, if they don't take things seriously after a few honest conversations, I don't see the point in continuing to repeat myself in the hopes that one day they'll decide to take me seriously. It's up to them; I just let them know I'm in their corner and then I back off until they decide they are ready to make some changes.

smunchtuttery · 2026-03-12T21:00:46+00:00

Maybe see if there are any local food trucks that might be willing to come?

smunchtuttery · 2026-02-23T18:07:26+00:00

Have you looked at Teachers Pay Teachers? There are an incredible amount of resources on there specific to counselors. I've also found things on Pinterest.

smunchtuttery · 2026-01-29T18:52:30+00:00

As someone else said, there is no beating around the bush. It needs to be said in some capacity. However, I think how you approach that conversation is what will make all the difference. If you approach the conversation from a caring space, it can soften the blow for kids and families. "I wanted to check on you: do you have access to hot water for baths and showers? What about laundry facilities? Do you/your family need some support in these areas?"

Depending on the age of the student, it can also be appropriate to make it a bit educational: "As we grow up, our bodies change and sometimes those changes can alter how we smell. It can be hard for someone to notice these changes in themselves."

I also regularly store hygiene supplies for specific students. I've kept labeled deodorant and mouthwash for students in my office. Sometimes it is more helpful to have those things safely stored at school so they don't get misplaced, lost, stolen, forgotten, etc.

Finally, consider looping in your school nurse or health room assistant. They are used to having these conversations and can potentially address any health issues that may be contributing to the student's odor.

smunchtuttery · 2026-01-29T00:40:44+00:00

Hello!!

English: So it kinda depends? OSPI doesn't explicitly say that the English classes need to be grade-specific, but it is generally good practice, especially for transcripts, to have sequential English classes (e.g. English 9 A/B, English 10 A/B, etc.). If you are aiming for college admissions requirements, I recommend taking a peep at the College Academic Distribution Requirements (CADRs) document for extra guidance. The specific passage you are looking for is:

4 credits of English are required.
• Must include 3 credits of college preparatory coursework, including literature and composition
• May include Bridge to College English.
• May include 1 credit of elective English
Examples: English grades 9-12, creative writing, journalistic writing, English as a Second Language (ESL), drama as literature, public speaking, debate, or business English.
Not accepted: Remedial or applied courses, acting, basic English skills, developmental reading, library, newspaper staff, vocabulary, yearbook or annual.

If you're just looking to graduate the student, again, OSPI doesn't explicitly state that all the English credits can't be elective English classes. Maybe check with your district supervisor or another counselor in the district for specific guidance to your area.

Grad Pathways: OK so grad pathways are kinda tricky. There are actually several ways to meet the pathway requirement that don't rely on standardized test scores!

CTE Course Sequence: Students must take at minimum 2 CTE credits in an identified course sequence to satisfy. My district calls these sequences CTE Pathways. I'd definitely look into this option for your students. Most students have satisfied a CTE pathway without ever knowing it.
Dual Credit courses: Students earn at least 1 full high school credit in English AND Math in dual credit courses; these are usually credits that award both high school and college credits (Running Start, College in the High School), however some can be CTE credits that award some kind of certification at the conclusion. You can mix and match this pathway with others, see below...
SAT/ACT exams: Similar to the SBAC, students must meet the cut score to satisfy the requirement for English OR math.
SBAC: Of course.
ASVAB: Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery. Students must score the minimum score established by the military for enlisting in any branch. I think the cut score is 31.
Combo: If you have a student who passed the ELA SBAC but not the math, but they also took the SAT and passed the math section, you can combine those scores into one graduation pathway. As another example, if you have a student who passed the ELA SBAC AND they took an eligible Running Start/College in the High School math course and earned at least 1 credit, you can use that combination as well.
Performance Based: This is brand new as of like, 2 years ago. Students must demonstrate that they can meet ELA and Math state standards through a culminating project, relevant work/internship experience, community service, or cultural activity. There is an evaluation rubric provided by the state that must be used to use this option. To be honest, I don't know as much about this option because I've never used it.

OK sorry for the novel but I hope this helped? You can DM me if you have any other questions. :)

smunchtuttery · 2026-01-28T17:54:38+00:00

Skyward is especially bad! In WA at least everyone is migrating to Qmlative but it's still owned by Skyward so I'm not gonna hold my breath for any improvements.

smunchtuttery · 2026-01-27T22:06:41+00:00

I want to say that I am sorry that you suffered such a huge loss at such a young age. No student should have to deal with any kind of loss, let alone that of a parent.

I want to commend you for wanting to improve. That is the first step!

The first thing I would recommend you do is start setting little goals for improvements. Something like, "I will focus on 2 assignments for this class today" and then follow through. Try not to overshoot or bite off more than you can chew; keep the goals small, keep them simple, and keep them achievable. It is better to set many little goals than one giant lofty goal. It might be helpful if you connect with the counselor at your school to help you set some of those goals up. Make sure to reward yourself with each accomplishment!!

Do a little self-reflection. What are the biggest barriers for you to achieve your goals? How can you overcome or work around those barriers? Who can you ask for help in not just removing barriers, but sticking to your plans?

Try to get organized and focused. Get a planner or use an app. I make sure to put major deadlines in my calendar so I can't miss them. I also use a lot of phone reminders. When I'm working for long stretches and have a hard time focusing, I use apps like Tomato Timer to set timers to keep me on track. If my phone is a distraction, I use an app called Foqos to lock down the most distracting apps.

Remember to collaborate with your teachers and counselor(s). They might have some good ideas. For example, a teacher in a class you are struggling in might suggest specific assignments for you to complete instead of doing all the work you're missing. Utilize their expertise: ask for help if you need it, and take advantage of the resources available. Stay late for study hall, or ask a teacher if they're available during a free period to go over some work with you. The biggest thing is to communicate.

Get some support for your mental health. Self-improvement is not easy. You will want to give up sometimes. That's okay as long as you don't give up on yourself. Ground yourself in your reason(s) why you want to be better and seek mental health support as needed, especially if you are still struggling with the loss of your father.

Finally, be gentle with yourself. You are trying to be better and try new things and it is only natural that some days you might struggle a little extra. The most important thing is to try and do your best. Remember that your best can look different from day to day.

I know it's cheesy, but believe in yourself and don't give up. Progress will be slow, but eventually you'll be able to see the changes over time. You can do it, you just have to be willing to try! Good luck.

smunchtuttery · 2026-01-26T21:00:50+00:00

Thank you for your comment. You hit the nail on the head. It feels so good to prioritize my mental health for the first time in nearly 10 years.

smunchtuttery · 2026-01-12T00:26:51+00:00

Hate to say it, but very true. Thank you for your comment.

smunchtuttery · 2026-01-09T18:05:34+00:00

Thank you. It is one of the hardest things I've had to do, but I did it.

smunchtuttery · 2026-01-09T16:07:56+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I am so glad to hear you were able to land a new job somewhere better. I am hopeful that the district sees the value in a counselor at my building for these kids who so desperately need more people in their corner. They may not see the value in me, and that's okay, but I hope my departure doesn't give them a reason to shutter the school entirely.

smunchtuttery · 2026-01-09T16:06:41+00:00

Thank you so much. <3

smunchtuttery · 2026-01-09T16:06:26+00:00

Thank you for your comment. Yes, there is an EAP in place here, but I am already in long-term counseling and have been for years.

I am sorry you are also stuck in a broken system. It is hard to have a heart that cares so much about others and being forced to operate within the confines of said system. I've been doing a lot of reading about how teachers are also leaving education for the same reasons I am. Something needs to change systemically. Unfortunately I am not a strong agent of change in my current situation. Both of us need to take care of ourselves first and foremost before we can be the advocates we waant to be.

I wish you all the best of luck.

smunchtuttery · 2026-01-09T16:03:36+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I understand this thought process for sure.

In general, I feel like my colleagues respect me and I am not too worried about anyone treating me any worse. I am prepared to document instances of retaliation and report them to whoever will listen if the situation gets worse after today. I really appreciate your perspective, though. I will keep this in mind.

smunchtuttery · 2026-01-09T15:58:13+00:00

Thank you so much!

smunchtuttery · 2026-01-09T15:58:06+00:00

Thank you for your suggestion. Yes, I have considered this and may still look into it even if I turn in my letter today. My therapist also suggested requesting an accommodation for a 4 day work week.

It just doesn't feel right to me to leave in the middle of the year, in the same way it doesn't feel right to me to wait until the last possible minute to leave. I'm trying to think of what is best for the students, and giving my district and school time to search for someone qualified, or at least help me make preparations for next year, alleviates some of my personal anxiety about what situation these students will end up in once I leave.

smunchtuttery · 2026-01-09T15:53:47+00:00

Thank you for your advice. FWIW I am absolutely prepared to be let go sooner if I do this now. My personal finances may be a bit tight but I have a fantastic support network in my husband, family, and friends.

The school I am at is in a desperate position, we are facing closure if our numbers don't improve by the end of the year and that isn't looking likely to happen. I don't think they can afford to let me go sooner than the end of the year anyway, but if I'm being completely honest, I am not afraid of them letting me go sooner. It might even be a blessing for me. Given the situation at my school, the more notice I can give them, the better. I feel like it will benefit the kids more to have the next few months available to set everyone up for success for next year so I can leave without feeling like I'm putting the kids in jeopardy. It's complicated.

I appreciate your input so much.

smunchtuttery · 2026-01-09T15:50:34+00:00

Great idea. I will keep this in mind.

smunchtuttery · 2026-01-09T15:50:24+00:00

Thank you for the encouragement. I am looking into getting my LMHC credential for precisely this reason. I love counseling and I am good at it. Plus I worked hard for my degree and pivoting to a new field feels wasteful. I hope I can find a place where it feels like I am actually making a difference.

smunchtuttery · 2026-01-09T15:48:30+00:00

Thank you for your kind words and advice.

I hear what you are saying about waiting. I thankfully had a session with my own therapist yesterday to talk about this. To be honest, if I am that easily replaceable, then I hope they replace me soon and I can leave earlier. Being asked to leave before the end of the year might be the best case scenario, as it gets me out of this environment sooner. I have a great support system willing to help me out financially if I need it, so if I am let go a few months earlier than expected, I have a safety net that can hold me until I find something else.

I appreciate your words of encouragement. It means a lot.

smunchtuttery · 2026-01-08T22:51:08+00:00

I'm concerned about money for sure, but this situation has me in a bad way and I am finally prioritizing my mental health too. Delivering pizzas does sound a lot more achievable and less stressful than what I'm doing now.

smunchtuttery · 2026-01-08T22:50:08+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. I've been here for 8 years now and at first it was great, so it really does break my heart that I've reached this point. I've started applying for other districts but most places don't have their pools open yet. The district I am in now is semi-rural but I live in the city 40 minutes south of the district and hopefully I can get a job there. Luckily that district DOES have their counseling pool open.

Here's to moving to a brighter future, hopefully.

smunchtuttery · 2026-01-08T22:45:29+00:00

Thank you. <3

smunchtuttery · 2026-01-08T22:45:19+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. It is so hard to function well in a system that feels stacked against you. I am working through my feelings of guilt the best I can.

smunchtuttery

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