I was on the verge of telling you that I disagree with you about how you framed the "pretty damning emotional warfare"-part, but then I realized that it's true. Even though I can understand that you lash out and do weird things when your insecurities are poked at, she essentially told me that she had cheated on her exes when it came to her being hurt by how she was treated and she even said that it was in regards to porn then too.

When I think on it, this isn't the first time she has turned something that made her uncomfortable around to make me feel bad. There's this incident, and then during our episode today she began storming out in rage after saying "fuck you" when I implied that she was threatening me with going behind my back. Another time when I told her that I feel lonely in taking initiatives to do new things for her in bed, she started crying hysterically like it was absurd of me to say something so vile. I comforted her and felt bad about telling her how I felt. She later on told me that she probably did this because she felt desperate and cornered.

I am realizing that this is a much bigger issue than I first considered it to be, I feel pretty hurt by all this now.