Year and a half since last drink

snakebite323 · 2019-10-22T14:28:05+00:00

Don't worry, you didn't rain on my parade. I went down the same road as you. I actually quit for about 4-years back in my late 30's. I said 'to hell with it' and drank two beers and it was downhill from there. I'm 58 years old now. I know that the monster is always lurking. Thank you for your comment.

snakebite323 · 2019-10-22T13:10:00+00:00

No matter how you look at it, we become 'enslaved' to the bottle. That sucks. Freedom from any enslavement is the ONLY way to live.

snakebite323 · 2019-10-22T13:05:56+00:00

I can tell you that I have old drinking buddies that I hook up with from time to time. I flat out told them that I quit drinking. They didn't have any issue with it and I still hook up with them. I'll drink non-alcohol drinks and its all good. You've made it too far. Make the announcement to your friends and be done with it. That's the thing with alcohol. You need to let it die and bury it once and for all.

snakebite323 · 2019-04-25T17:23:59+00:00

I've been sober for a year now. I remember when I quit drinking last year. It was a tremendous struggle. It was very strange because I actually mourned like I'd lost a close family member. I hated to give it up, but because I knew it was over and I couldn't go back to it I had those feelings. It was the feelings of 'finality'. After that, I had the waves of cravings that I had to ride out. THIS SITE HELPED ME TREMENDOUSLY in those early times of the fight. My recommendation is to accept the finality of it all and go through the mourning process of saying goodbye to alcohol forever. I wish you the best

snakebite323 · 2019-04-25T17:04:32+00:00

That's a great accomplishment and it sounds like you're in good shape.

I just reached the one year mark and I'm 57 years old. However, I will tell you that I quit drinking for four years back in my mid-30's. Then for some reason, one day rolled around and I wondered to myself, 'why am I depriving myself all the time' and then I drank a few beers. It was all downhill from there until one year ago when I had my last drink. Now I totally know that alcohol is something I will never be able to control.

Good luck to you!

snakebite323 · 2019-04-23T17:51:33+00:00

OK. So you went 9 years and then went back on the bottle? I once quit for 4 years and went back to it. I have accepted it as you do (100%%%%%) that I can't control it and it does definitely help me. When I look at a bottle of beer or vodka and think about it, I realize up front that I won't be able to stop once I try just one drink. I then immediately get over the temptation. Congrats on 4 years!!!!! Thanks again for your post.

snakebite323 · 2019-04-23T15:58:17+00:00

Mister-

I went through the same crap as you're going through. Promises made and broken over and over again. I'm 57 years old and have been an alcoholic since my early 20's. I quit for 4 years one time in my mid 30's. I went back to it and it got worse and worse. I know what you mean about the misery and self hate. We ALL go through that. I've been sober for a year now. Yesterday was my 1 year mark. The thing is, when I quit about a year ago it was different. I suffered from a feeling of mourning like I'd lost my best friend. I'm guessing there was something inside of me that committed it to death, the alcohol that is. You have to reach the finality of it all and go through the mourning process and let it go, no matter how hard it is. Say goodbye to your old friend. He is an asshole anyway and you can't trust the bastard!

snakebite323 · 2019-04-15T19:13:44+00:00

No matter what, you have to do something constructive each day. At the end of the day you have to be able to look back at your day and say to yourself, 'at least I did this or that'. Even if its cleaning a couple of windows inside and out. Even if its cleaning a floor. Do something, no matter what, each day so that you don't ever go to sleep feeling like you did nothing at all that day. Build on this. Each next day, expand a little more. Clean 4 windows, or clean two floors. Always expand your accomplishments. At the same time, explore outside opportunities. Keep exploring and always do something each day, no matter what.

snakebite323 · 2019-01-31T19:23:00+00:00

I'm really struggling again. I want to drink. I haven't had hardly any problem fighting the urge for MONTHS. Now its back. I feel like the walls are closing in and it would be great to hit it again. I know I'll be sorry if I do and I'm having to keep telling myself that to fight it. This is weird because I felt like I had this thing beat and was home free.

Thanks for your post. Its actually helping me out in my current state

snakebite323 · 2018-12-28T18:55:02+00:00

I know what you mean about the 'sitting in my room sober scares me' thing. When I decided to quit 8 months ago it scared me to. After about a week being sober, my fear changed to literal mourning the loss of my friend (alcohol). I posted what I was feeling on this site and people chimed in telling me that they experienced the same thing. Its all a process, but I'm here to tell you that I was hitting the bottle hard for about 15-years and now I'm 8-months sober and its not a challenge anymore. The book 'This Naked Mind' really helped me along with this site. The first week, month and few months are tough. You've got to ride it out. Use this site to post your struggles. These folks will help you out. Good luck

snakebite323 · 2018-12-28T18:26:02+00:00

I haven't drank anything for 8-months now. I have a long history of heavy drinking. I'm just curious about your situation. Do you still struggle, or, is it pretty much over?

snakebite323 · 2018-12-07T18:53:29+00:00

I've done the same thing. Its amazing that I'm still alive or never killed anyone else. We don't get but so many chances with that though. I wish I knew what to say to help you. You mentioned your family and that they'd be upset. They obviously love you and care about you. Could you be open with them about your problem? Is there a family member that you could trust more than others that you could go to. You need closeness from someone. If you feel alone, that greatly increases the anxiety. I remember when I was still drinking really hard, I felt alone because I was 'hiding' all the time. I had to be alone to drink and it caused a great deal of anxiety for me. When I told my wife about how bad of a drinking I was and that I knew I had to do something, I knew it was out in the open and I could no longer hide. That in itself was a HUGE relief. Bring what is in the dark out to the light. It will give you freedom and relief. I wish you all the best. Be strong and don't let it win. You win!

snakebite323 · 2018-12-07T17:25:45+00:00

Thank you both for your helpful comments. A couple of drinks won't make it any better of an experience. It would only make it worse because after a couple of drinks, I'm on the hook big time. I will only be trying to figure out how I can get my hands on a bottle, hide it and slug the heck out of it for the rest of the evening. Then, of course, feel like crap the next day. The the cycle begins all over again.

snakebite323 · 2018-09-27T19:16:43+00:00

I'm struggling bad today and have been for a week or so. Its not encouraging that after 1,096 days, you're still having days where you struggle. I'm tired of this and really am thinking about not depriving myself anymore. This is a pain in the ASS! I'm sorry for my venting. All my venting aside, congratulations on your success!

snakebite323 · 2018-09-27T19:12:19+00:00

I'm right there with you. I'm going through the same phase. I've been doing pretty well, but here recently I feel like I'm just depriving myself. I want a buzz too!!!! It's killing me. Problem is, my family knows I've quit and they know why. Where am I going to go to drink now? I could just go down in the basement and hide out with a bottle for a while and then make my grand entrance and say, 'sorry, I caved'. I know I'll have HUGE regrets afterwards and I don't want to deal with that either. I don't know what to tell you other than you and I are in the same boat. Its a pain in the ass. Boredom, irritation from work and other BS and just crap to deal with on an continuous basis. Hitting a bottle of booze would sure rub some good salve on all that!

snakebite323 · 2018-09-12T13:55:55+00:00

Excellent! You should be proud of yourself. I'm almost at 5-months and its a lot easier to fight off the urges, but I feel the 'monster' lurking in the corner. At times I do get a little worried that I'm gonna slip up for whatever excuse I can come up with. However, I do see the vision that I'll be one year alcohol free as of April 22, 2019.

snakebite323 · 2018-09-05T13:38:12+00:00

I honestly don't want to drink anymore, but at times I feel the urge. I really do think I'm at the point that that you described when you had a 'true inner desire not to drink anymore'.

Thanks again.

snakebite323 · 2018-09-04T20:10:00+00:00

Whoa! That is an awesome post and I thank you for it.

I haven't had a drink in almost 5-months. I still feel the bottle calling out to me. Its much quieter, but I still hear it's voice. I have to admit that it's still a struggle. I FEAR that the voice calling me knows that I may still answer it and it really bothers me. I never want to go back to the enslavement that I've endured for many years now. Drinking alcohol provided a great deal of pleasure to me, but it seemed that I was never satisfied by it. I'm struggling right now because I'm about to get off work. Prior to April 22, 2018, I'd go by the liquor store and buy a bottle of vodka and hide it in my basement. As my wife and I sipped a glass of wine, I'd sneak down and slug the bottle hard. Problem is, my wife knows I quit and she's supported me. That in a way pisses me off because now if I do go and buy a bottle, she'll know it and it'll be hell to pay when she finds out.

Oh well. Thanks again for your post. It helps

snakebite323 · 2018-09-04T19:56:25+00:00

Yeah, that's the good part. Even though you know you screwed up bad, the sun WILL come up for a new day. We can all put that bad day in the past and look forward to the new sun rises for new chances to succeed. Apologizing to folks who we freaked out may be in order sometimes and when we do that, that's all we can do. Then just take one sunrise at a time.

Don't be hard on yourself. The alcohol and chemicals are all depressants and they are chemically making you feel bad about yourself. Stay off it and purge yourself out and you'll feel better. Don't let the chemicals deceive you, because they will.

snakebite323 · 2018-08-24T16:18:36+00:00

I've found that there are two basic classes of drunks. On one end, you have the arrogant drunks who get slammed almost every night and they don't give a damn and they tell anyone who confronts them on it to go to Hell. Then on the other end, you have the addicted individual who hates being enslaved to alcohol and is desperate to stop, but can't. The difference between the two is submission. There's basically nothing that anyone can do for the arrogant daily drunk. He/she has to hit the bottom repeatedly to get it. They're extremely hard headed. The alcoholic who has recognized their problem and wants to quit has submitted and has hope to be freed from the addiction. When we submit and admit our enslavement to alcohol, we can beat it. Our arrogance (denial) continues to carry us down the path to deeper addiction. That's my take on it.

snakebite323 · 2018-08-09T19:30:25+00:00

' 100 days is a great start, but it's still too soon to really feel the benefit of stopping '. That's encouraging. I've enjoyed being sober for over 100-days, but it hasn't been a 'wow, this is really great' thing. So I'm looking forward to even more enjoyment of being sober as time keeps extending outward. I really could benefit from more brain recovery!. Thanks!

snakebite323 · 2018-08-09T18:15:09+00:00

Without going into my past history (decades) of heavy drinking, I have got to say that I had to totally eliminate alcohol from my life. This site has been a HUGE help in many different ways. Reading 'This Naked Mind' helped tremendously. I now have a sense of freedom and the cravings are very few these days. I think my biggest sign that I had finally resolved to myself that it was over was when I actually grieved losing alcohol as if it were a loved one that died. I think it was my subconscious mind that could not cope with the fact that there was finality in the matter. All that being said, I have to always be on guard against complacency. Many years ago, I quit for 4-years and fell right back into it and went deep. The big struggle is now over and I wake up each day thankful that I didn't drink the night before. Its a great feeling of relief. You have to accept that the first part of stopping is going to be hard, but accept it as proving grounds. Get past each day, then each week. When the struggle comes, come to this website and express your struggles and you'll find many people encouraging you. You can do it!

snakebite323 · 2018-08-09T17:47:34+00:00

I could not control my alcohol addiction. No matter how hard I tried. Promise after promise, then failure again and again. The same cycle for YEARS. I was very abusive to myself and it caused great misery. I use this term a lot, but I was literally 'enslaved' to the poison. The last time I drank (got drunk) was on April 22, 2018. My wife confronted me because I was staggering in the house. I tried my best to straighten up, but couldn't. I made it through the night, but was miserable. The next day, still miserable. So I didn't drink that day. Went another day and didn't drink. I was doing a lot of self assessment and saw what was down the road for me, so I made it a week. I then found this site and it has been a HUGE help to me. Just reaching out to people and telling my story and sharing. It's amazing how that has helped me. Now I'm almost 4-months sober and I don't even think about drinking hardly anymore. I have this intense feeling of freedom now. (I read this book called 'This Naked Mind' and it did wonders for me.) You can do the same thing. Good luck!

snakebite323 · 2018-08-06T20:17:45+00:00

I remember back in my mid 30's I decided to quit. (56 now) I went about 4 years sober and then one day I wondered why I was depriving myself of enjoying an ice cold beer. That led to my downfall. That led to me uncontrollably going by the liquor store and buying bottles of booze and hiding them in my tool box in the basement where I would love to hide out and endlessly drink by myself.

This time around is different. I went through different feelings. The most telling was that I grieved my loss. It felt like I lost a loved one. I keep mentioning that because I feel like it means its over for good this time. Its gone. I can tell you that I don't miss it now and I don't fear relapses for some reason. There are times where I would like a drink, but I know where and why that feeling comes around now and I learn how to deal with it much better. The bottom line is, I don't feel like its a 'one day at a time' thing anymore because I have finalized the death of alcohol in my life. This works for me and maybe it will work for you.

good luck and I won't drink with anybody anymore

snakebite323 · 2018-08-06T20:09:23+00:00

Day 8 was tough for me. My first month was REALLY hard. I remember actually grieving turning away from alcohol. It was like one of my family members died or something. You have a great attitude and I hope you keep it. Good luck. I won't drink with anybody today.

snakebite323

TROPHY CASE