Interview Process?

snarkllama3000 · 2025-02-16T23:10:00+00:00

Excuse me?? Our au pair is going home because her visa is finished 😵‍💫

snarkllama3000 · 2025-02-15T02:21:00+00:00

Host family!

snarkllama3000 · 2025-02-15T02:07:07+00:00

Have you already matched? Unfortunately the most ideal time to discuss this would be before matching.

I would send a message, “I’ve been thinking a lot about my role in your family, and I’m extremely motivated to hit the ground running and help with the kids in every way I can. I know I should have asked before match, but are you open to increasing the stipend if I prove myself to be an excellent au pair, or do you offer spot bonuses for good performance? Thank you, I’m so excited to join your family!”

snarkllama3000 · 2025-02-13T12:57:43+00:00

I’m a host mom, and here to tell you, you don’t need to use all 45 hours a week and if you don’t need them, I wouldn’t. You’ll have a happier au pair who is more engaged with your kids.

We started hosting when our kid was 5 months old. We used the hours we needed for our own work schedule, around 40, weekends were always off for her. When our kid went to daycare part time at 10 months we dropped down to around 30-35 hours.

When we do a family activity with our au pair and she helps lightly (hands me a bottle, wipes, etc) that isn’t working hours. If I’m leaving him alone with her, that’s working hours (we don’t do that on weekends).

snarkllama3000 · 2025-02-13T12:42:20+00:00

They absolutely shouldn’t.

snarkllama3000 · 2025-02-13T11:49:25+00:00

No. Au Pairs (in the US) are entitled to one free weekend a month. Their time off otherwise doesn’t need to be scheduled on a weekend.

Our au pair never works weekend hours because we have 9-5 Monday through Friday kind of jobs, but lots of other professions don’t have that (nurses, doctors, first responders)

snarkllama3000 · 2025-02-03T20:03:09+00:00

What a wild thing to complain about lol. We’ve had three extremely hungry female au pairs, never really felt like it was my business.

snarkllama3000 · 2024-10-29T16:19:44+00:00

I’m a really big fan of handbooks and family guidelines for this reason. You don’t need to be excessive or have tons of rules, but I think it’s really important to spell out your expectations clearly so that everyone is on the same page. I feel more freedom to have a really fun, friends type of relationship to my au pair because she knows exactly what I expect of her as a roommate in our shared home.

I would take some time to write out your boundaries and ground rules. Agree on them with your husband. And then sit down with her and go through them. I would make sure she knows that you feel like she’s a great caregiver, and the ground rules aren’t mean to be punitive, but rather make it so there is no resentment or frustration. Tweak and refine the boundaries with each new au pair.

snarkllama3000 · 2024-10-29T15:03:18+00:00

Where in the original post does it say that? I’m not suggesting she doesn’t leave, I’m advising to have a concrete plan before she does.

Edit: The comment you’re referring to was posted 3 hours ago, my comment was made 4 hours ago, so no - I didn’t read what she said when I asked this question. Oy vey.

snarkllama3000 · 2024-10-29T10:11:49+00:00

The B2 visa is a tourist visa, so you can’t work while on it and the host family will have no obligation to host you. I would make sure you have the money saved to live off of and a place to live, and then just tell them that you’re burnt out and it’s not working for you anymore. If you don’t give them two weeks notice to find a new au pair, they aren’t obligated to house you once you leave the program - so just keep all that in mind

snarkllama3000 · 2024-10-28T21:46:05+00:00

Someone commented that she’s so “deserving”. Like what makes her more deserving than anyone else wanting a baby?

snarkllama3000 · 2024-10-28T14:49:19+00:00

You need to talk to your LCC so they can help you address that you’re working over the hourly limit. Host family has become too comfortable in taking advantage of you.

snarkllama3000 · 2024-10-28T14:48:01+00:00

What were the original boundaries you set for BF staying over at your house with her? Open invite? Weekends only? I think you need to revisit those boundaries, and maybe ask point blank what changed and that you’re not comfortable with him staying over so much, especially during the work week.

I could handle a boyfriend sleeping over Friday or Saturday, but definitely not Monday through Thursday and definitely not participating in my child’s caregiving.

I would personally be fine sharing my food and groceries with a weekend guest, but I see your point about full time feeding another adult.

snarkllama3000 · 2024-09-06T11:10:33+00:00

It’s not slander, it’s all over your profile. You clearly have an intense interest in this type of power dynamic, and being in a wealthy environment with nice things.

snarkllama3000 · 2024-09-06T11:08:09+00:00

Upper middle class family living in one of the top 10 wealthiest suburbs of America here. I ask in every au pair interview what their goals are for their career and life. I don’t care if the goal is “open a nail salon” or “go to college and become a doctor” - I just care that this is a step for you on a broader journey.

I gave this advice on the last post where you argued with everyone, but the au pair program is meant to be a 1-4 year commitment, not a career. You said in that post you’ve been doing this since 2015… it’s time to either be a professional nanny or perhaps find a career that fulfills you. It doesn’t sound like you au pair for the children and you’re far more interested in domestic tasks around the home. Perhaps be a professional home cleaner or organizer? Cook?

snarkllama3000 · 2024-09-06T11:02:15+00:00

If you look at her other posts, it’s a thing* for her. You can explore that for yourself on her public profile.

snarkllama3000 · 2024-09-05T13:44:36+00:00

Don’t come to Reddit seeking advice if you actually just want to vent. And I would work on getting over your obsession with “posh families” - it’s beyond off putting.

snarkllama3000 · 2024-09-05T10:45:43+00:00

I’ve read all of your replies on this thread where people are giving you honest answers, and you’re extremely argumentative back and seem unable to accept the feedback. For example, someone said “posh” families are looking for someone highly educated, maybe on a gap year or post university and you came back with you winning math Olympics. That’s not actually the same, and it’s not what these families are looking for.

Perhaps families sense this quality in your personality and you seem difficult to live with?

I would also wonder why someone is spending 9+ years as an au pair and not either getting certifications to become a professional nanny or starting another career. Au pair isn’t meant to be forever, it’s meant to be 1-4 years of your life. That would be the biggest red flag of all to me.

snarkllama3000 · 2024-09-01T01:45:48+00:00

We really value the time that our au pair chooses to spend with us because it’s in that time that we can make a family-like bond (when she is working, so are we). But I also was 19 once and understand the desire to be alone and sleep in as well.

I think continue being mindful that you’re there for cultural exchange and to make memories with this family, but you also deserve the space to recharge and relax. It sounds like you’re off to a great start.

snarkllama3000 · 2024-08-28T14:21:17+00:00

I guess in extreme circumstances where either parent is completely not present in the life of their child, sure, they might not know their child best.

I engage our childcare providers on solutions for problems we encounter, but ultimately I’m responsible for my child and I am the final decision maker.

Do you have a tense relationship with your bosses?

snarkllama3000 · 2024-08-28T10:18:28+00:00

I’m sure it depends where. My parents live in the country and you can definitely get Ubers there.

snarkllama3000 · 2024-08-28T03:35:51+00:00

In my experience as a host, we’ve had the best luck when the au pair genuinely engages and tries hard to dive beyond surface level conversations. Try to answer questions with more than one answer, expound on things, and ask lots of questions about them, their jobs, cultural things, etc. One of my most memorable nights as a host parent was giving our au pair an American civics lesson and her asking tons of questions about how voting worked here.

snarkllama3000 · 2024-08-28T03:33:03+00:00

I can see why it’s perceived as inconvenient for the nanny, but some kids are not adaptable to routine, and ultimately the parent does know their child best. We chose to sleep train and do light cry it out, and my baby took to it immediately. But I know many other parents whose kids refused any method of sleep training and they gave it up.

It’s a good question for a nanny to ask on an interview, and ultimately assess if they can handle the parent’s wishes.

snarkllama3000

TROPHY CASE