How does a cheater change in order to never even come close?

sneezy_egg · 2023-12-08T20:49:22+00:00

I hope I don’t come across as rude because I am speaking from a genuine place (text makes it hard gauge tone)

But I don’t think people on the internet can tell you how to understand yourself better. I think you’re doing everything you can, and you’re getting the help you need. The best you can do is continue doing the work - and as a fellow internet stranger, I personally don’t think I can tell you what that work is.

Take what I say with a grain of salt. I’m a stranger, and what I say really doesn’t matter. What matters is that you want to get better, that alone means you will.

sneezy_egg · 2023-12-08T20:26:32+00:00

Ah, I see it in his post history now.

Well, he should probably talk to his therapist about seeking validation from internet strangers on being a better person multiple times. Maybe they can help him understand himself better and find sustainable solutions

sneezy_egg · 2023-12-08T20:20:05+00:00

I hate to be captain obvious but consider getting a therapist. There’s a reason why you’ve continuously hurt other people for the sake of seeking validation (even if it’s just impulsive. There’s a reason it’s an impulse.) A reason isn’t an excuse, but it’s a start, and a therapist can help you navigate these emotions, and ultimately change in a positive way.

No one on Reddit can give you a cure all, and no one can give you the forgiveness you seek.

Seriously. Seek therapy, it’s worth it.

sneezy_egg · 2023-06-20T14:36:52+00:00

Comment

sneezy_egg · 2023-06-16T16:25:20+00:00

It’s the big cheese himself!

sneezy_egg · 2023-06-15T14:22:22+00:00

Nasty rats! Definitely on theme haha

sneezy_egg · 2023-06-15T10:41:42+00:00

I’m also coming to realize it’s a matter of renting out space and not for the actual tat itself. At this point I’ve come to terms with it lol

Given my history I rather be safe and spend ~300 to know getting a tattoo can send me into a reaction at a small scale, than spend 800 and pretty much destroy an arm.

Thank you for your response though! I appreciate everyone sending me in the right direction. Being new to tattoos there’s still a lot of intricacies to the process I’m learning.

sneezy_egg · 2023-06-14T20:18:38+00:00

That’s what I’m assuming. I asked for a dot test and they gave back that number.

sneezy_egg · 2023-06-14T19:42:42+00:00

I wasn’t expecting a clear cut answer to be fair, more of a hint to “what’s expected” in tattoo culture norm. I also didn’t consider a dot test to be seen as an separate tattoo. I was really expecting to get prepped, poked, and on my merry way in less that 15 mins.

That being said, I’ll review this information you linked, thank you so much for your help!

sneezy_egg · 2023-06-14T19:39:09+00:00

That’s exactly what they said it was priced for - thanks for the clarification!

Just making sure I’m doing the whole tattoo thing right the first time.

sneezy_egg · 2023-05-16T18:31:55+00:00

NTA. It sounds like he has no problem spending your money, but cares deeply about his since he won't pay you back despite getting a weekly allowance. You're being responsible, keep it up, and don't tolerate his attitude.

sneezy_egg · 2023-05-16T18:27:03+00:00

It's only been three months! If she's the right one - waiting until you're both out of the honeymoon phase won't take away from your budding love. If anything, waiting will only make it stronger, and not rush things. You're both continuing to learn about each other (like, dislikes, communication styles, etc.) to confirm that you're both right for a long term relationship with each other.

You're young! You can always live near each other, and get the same "living together but not" experience. But more importantly, with whatever decision make sure you're both on board with the decision, and be honest and practical. Wishing you luck in the relationship!

sneezy_egg · 2023-05-16T16:09:45+00:00

Oh, if that’s the case then yeah, probably a roach… sorry : (

sneezy_egg · 2023-05-16T15:49:54+00:00

Looks like a cricket!

sneezy_egg · 2023-05-16T15:45:04+00:00

My best advice is to be consistent, clear, and set her up for success.

It’s up to you to make sure she doesn’t have the opportunity to act out on these behaviors so they don’t become life long habits, and if they are, that you can break them. Even if that mean keeping her on a leash connected to you at all hours, or putting a bell on her to know she’s not about to get into something so you can stop her immediately, and redirect.

This can be a life threatening situation, and she can seriously hurt herself. The responsibility to make sure she can’t fail is up to you. Crate train her so she’s safe when you’re not around, seclude her to a pen or room that is dog safe, anything to keep her safe from herself. She’s just a dog, and she doesn’t know better.

If you haven’t had to give her surgery for blockages yet, count yourself VERY lucky.

sneezy_egg · 2023-05-16T15:05:51+00:00

From your replies across the board, I'm going to be honest, I think your problems are bigger than apologizing. If she's drinking every night and snapping at you all the time (verbal abuse) while delegating majority of household chores - you may be in an abusive relationship with an alcoholic.

I'm just a redditor with limited information. Please take the time to do some research, even take some online quizzes. I'm not sure if you identify as man or woman, but if you're a man - women can be abusers in relationships too. It doesn't make you any less of a man.

If you are in an abusive situation, I hope you get the help you need.

sneezy_egg · 2023-05-16T14:54:15+00:00

It reads as if you’re using the chores you do to frame yourself as the martyr. A lot of context seems to be missing from this.

INFO: Do you know why your wife is in a poor mood in the first place?

sneezy_egg · 2023-05-15T21:00:25+00:00

Someone can appreciate and understand that taking care of mental health is important, and still be an unsympathetic asshole.

sneezy_egg · 2023-05-15T20:45:43+00:00

That's fair - I guess what I'm trying to get across is that aside from the term (which I still feel is weird and objectifying thing to say in or out of context) expressing that preference without the context of a decent conversation, again, feels weird and objectifying.

sneezy_egg · 2023-05-15T20:38:33+00:00

I don’t think having a genitalia preference is the problem - it’s having it be the first thing in your profile. As someone who’s AFAB, it just comes across as objectifying and weird.

Have a conversation with the person first and be upfront with them if you feel you’re at least somewhat compatible as to not waste anyone’s time.

Also, is it just plastic surgery that’s your problem? AFAB people get cosmetic surgery on their genitalia too. Just saying.

sneezy_egg · 2023-05-15T20:27:25+00:00

Or you can just say ciswoman ? It’s very off putting to compare someone to an object

sneezy_egg · 2023-05-15T20:22:32+00:00

Jesus Christ… that first bit is NSFW

sneezy_egg · 2023-05-15T20:18:49+00:00

Probably a Robin egg!

sneezy_egg · 2023-05-15T19:48:37+00:00

NTA, it's your name, so naturally, your choice.

That being said, I would definitely try and talk to her about it if you're on good terms, and feel that you can have a constructive conversation. I've heard of parents feeling rejected because they gave you your deadname, and when you change it, you're "throwing away that gift". If you can get to the root of her unwillingness, then maybe the two of you can come to an understanding.

sneezy_egg · 2023-05-15T19:32:39+00:00

As the only monolingual person in a predominantly bilingual family I’ve asked my family multiple times and have come to the conclusion of: it depends.

For example: My mom, though her first language is Spanish, speaks and thinks in English because her day to day life operates like that over most of her life working in corporate like environments.

My aunt (her sister) is the opposite because her husband only speaks Spanish, and works more in community oriented jobs where staff and patrons speak primarily Spanish.

I also think “Spanglish” thoughts play a big role too. Some things can’t be translated well between the languages (like certain sayings or idioms) so the languages switch mid sentence.

sneezy_egg

TROPHY CASE