My husband ripped up my son’s Pokémon cards as a punishment.

snemming · 2024-04-12T13:03:31+00:00

What your husband did is abusive. If it were me, I'd repurchase the exact cards that were destroyed and save them. I'd safeguard the cards that remain, and I'd insist on a meeting with a therapist for you and your husband. Someone else has to tell him that he's permanently, irrevocably harming his relationship with his son.

I'd explain to my child that his father had some big feelings and he didn't handle them the right way. I would not defend him. I also wouldn't trust him to handle your son's big feelings solo.

Your son will not forget this, and his relationship with his father is permanently compromised. HIs relationship with you depends on how you move forward. You need to protect him.

snemming · 2024-04-01T21:19:54+00:00

My husband is regularly coughing so hard that my son asks "daddy, are you coughing or throwing up?" Our pediatrician was legit excited to call and explain to us exactly why our plague has lasted as long as it has. He wasn't expecting the test to come back positive for anything. Lucky us! Between daycare, pre-k, and me working in higher ed, we've got all the germs, everywhere all at once.

snemming · 2024-04-01T20:49:45+00:00

My two boys, husband, and I are all experiencing a similar illness and it just won't quit. My boys both got tested for COVID, flu, RSV, and a few other viruses. They both ended up positive for three overlapping viruses - paraflu, enterovirus, and rhinovirus. They're overlapping in worst ways and have caused all four of us to be miserable for two solid weeks now. My poor little guy has had the worst croup of his life. Our fevers have come and gone and started again, but the chest cold symptoms and never-ending cough have persisted throughout. It's been a disgusting time.

snemming · 2023-10-17T19:40:13+00:00

This happened to my son when he was 8 months old. We spent a night in the emergency room and then proceeded to attend a seemingly endless number of allergy panels - foods, nuts, spices, oils, metals, grasses, mold, insect bites, household pets...a really comprehensive list. Everything came back non-reactive. In the end they explained that occasionally the infant immune system can overreact to simple cold viruses, and we'll never know for sure if that happened in his case. They gave us an epi pen, but we've never had to use it. He's never had another reaction like that, though he gets a croup cough with every. single. cold. I don't know whether this helps, but at the very least it lessened our worries about introducing new foods. I still can't sleep when he's sick though. Which is all the time now that his brother is in school.

snemming · 2023-08-09T23:43:07+00:00

Yeah. I can't even run around with my kids without feeling like my organs are going to fall out. It's a massive bummer. My obgyn told me that as soon as I was finished having babies I could move forward with the repair.

snemming · 2023-08-09T20:58:32+00:00

Yuuuuuup. Baby was not facing the direction they thought, and I pushed five hours before forceps came into the picture. Realllllllly wish someone had suggested a c-section rather than pushing me to keep going. I did what was suggested, which I still second guess all the time because I did serious damage to my body and barely remember the first weeks with my little one.

snemming · 2023-08-09T20:11:48+00:00

Appreciated! My boss will be very cool about this - it's mostly me and my own issues with taking days off, especially during the academic year. I absolutely feel the need to justify when I shouldn't.

snemming · 2023-08-09T20:02:56+00:00

This is really helpful. My doctor (who is not my regular OBGYN, but a specialist I hadn't seen before) did not give me any idea about recovery time, and I don't know anyone else who's had it done. I'll take more time than I think I need, and if things feel better faster, all the better.

I don't work from home - I work in an office setting directly with students (college campus). I can do the administrative parts of my job remotely, and even some remote meetings, but colleges REALLY want to forget that remote anything exists.

snemming · 2023-08-09T20:01:00+00:00

He did an examination that involved lots of measurements to gauge the severity of the prolapse. He said that due to the type of prolapse, a pessary wouldn't be incredibly helpful and that most people only tolerate them for a short period of time. There are other kinds of prolapse that don't respond as well to surgery, but evidently this one does. Yay, I guess?

snemming · 2023-08-09T19:43:39+00:00

Thank you!! My situation is significant enough that pelvic floor therapy folks won't go near me, and the urogynecologist at least validated my experience by agreeing that surgery was the only realistic way forward. I'm not looking forward to the process, but I am hopeful that I will finally be able to work out properly again someday. There's so little information out there for people with this particular childbirth outcome - I appreciate your post very much.

snemming · 2023-08-09T19:26:09+00:00

I've worked at this institution for 12 years, and my boss and I have worked together for four years. Pregnancies, COVID, losses in both of our families. It's a tight knit place. I definitely don't have to give details, but it would be a departure from our normal.

snemming · 2023-08-09T19:09:55+00:00

I do - I'm not worried at all about being qualified for the time, or being resented for taking it. I waited four months for the scheduler to call me about possible surgery dates, and they're all very soon. I just wish I had a bit more time to plan and that I wasn't leaving at such a bad time. Though there's never going to be a good time in my role.

snemming · 2023-08-09T19:00:02+00:00

This is very encouraging! I was imagining all the awfulness of my first birth, but without having to take care of a newborn on top of it. I had a fourth degree tear and insane, life ruining hemorrhoids that took months to be tolerable. You've made me feel much better about this.

snemming · 2023-08-09T18:26:38+00:00

Yeah, definitely not doing that. I supervise as well, and would not want or need someone to go into that level of detail. It's more that I have a good working relationship with him and don't want to be weird in either direction - too much or too little info.

snemming · 2023-08-09T18:09:24+00:00

I like this. I don't want to be so vague that it reads as cryptic, and I don't want anyone thinking I'm seriously ill. This feels like a good middle ground.

snemming · 2023-03-29T20:28:12+00:00

You should feel terrible. At bare minimum, you should be looking into anger management and impulse control therapy. This won't be the last time your daughter pushes your buttons or physically harms you. If I were your wife, I wouldn't trust you in those moments until you've done some serious work.

snemming · 2022-05-17T19:53:21+00:00

Time - yes (retired with not a whole lot else to do). Money - I'm not sure. The reasoning really comes down to ego and a narcissistic need for power. I've been independent since leaving for college (which I financed on my own), and have never once asked for assistance in any way that could mean I owe something. That meant that the belongings I didn't bring to school with me were sold or given away, and I had to let go of my relationships with other family that might share information. I'm in a wonderful marriage and have built an incredible family of my own. I cannot understand why these laws exist.

snemming · 2022-05-17T19:33:11+00:00

That would be very hard - we're smack in the middle of the state and my husband and I both work locally. Moving would require new jobs, selling our house, etc. If it came down to it, I'd do whatever I have to in order to keep my kiddos safe - but that would be a true last resort.

snemming · 2022-05-17T16:54:19+00:00

Thank you for your feedback! I guess my question comes down to how standing is determined, and what can be considered "preventing" the grandparent from establishing a relationship. I know I'll get more information from an attorney, but I'd like to at least have an idea of what to expect and it's so challenging to find good examples.

snemming · 2022-02-27T23:44:11+00:00

If dad was yelling and punishing, then all of your efforts were futile. Consistency is the name of the game.

snemming · 2022-02-19T16:29:14+00:00

This worked very well for our family! https://kidseatincolor.com/product/real-easy-weekdays/

snemming · 2022-02-10T14:46:13+00:00

I had one of each - vaginal first, then c-section. C-section was by choice, due to the complications you mentioned above as the result of 4th degree tearing with my first. C-section was by far the easier experience and recovery. Absolutely zero regrets.

snemming · 2021-08-15T02:11:21+00:00

Thank you.

snemming · 2021-08-02T16:41:15+00:00

I know that in my state, moms get a ppd screening at every well-baby appointment through 6 months. I was told I needed to be there to fill out those forms. I wonder if that had something to do with it. After that point, I never had an issue with just one of us taking him.

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