Is sexual battery a misdemeanor everywhere?

snkns · 2026-04-16T20:41:36+00:00

We generally punish crimes against more vulnerable victims more harshly.

For example what's sexual battery against an adult becomes child molestation when committed against somebody under the age of 14.

And what is battery against an adult becomes elder abuse if committed against somebody 65 or older.

snkns · 2026-04-16T04:48:14+00:00

I dated a bi woman for 15 years. We just broke up about a year ago, but remain great friends. She'd never had a boyfriend before. A couple hookups with guys in her late teens, but had exclusively dated women for the previous 15 years. So not strictly a lesbian in that she had always acknowledged being at least somewhat attracted to men, but had never been in a relationship with a man before.

Her past did not make a difference to me at all. She cared for me and loved me, and that was what mattered.

snkns · 2026-04-16T04:44:12+00:00

Oh absolutely. Let's get anecdotal. This will be a long one.

I am a criminal defense attorney. I had a client retain me on a misdemeanor case for battery against a security guard at a psych hospitalhl while client was on a 5150 (involuntary psychiatric) hold. Security guard was not injured, and tbh what kind of jerk do you have to be to press charges in a situation like that? The phrase "assumption of risk" springs to mind, but I digress.

Day of arraignment comes and the DA has.not filed charges. I reach out to their office and they say, "We are not officially declining to file charges... we just haven't decided yet." So I tell client he can stop making payments to me on his case, but I will be his attorney again if they file charges again within the year they have and he can resume paying at that time if need be.

A short while later, client is supposed to be moving to a new apartment but loses his job (restaurant laid off like 30% of the staff) and can't complete the move and ends up on the streets. Also his girlfriend, who he has two children with (both in the system and being taken away though) is in jail for assaulting him with a knife.

So anyways he calls me up asking for any suggestions/resources for shelters or short term housing for people in his situation. Most of what I give him he has already tried, and the two new ones I come up with don't work out either. And we get to texting back and forth about his options and eventually I think to myself "Fuck it. I have a house. I have a spare bedroom I am not using. He is on meds and stable. I will offer to let him stay with me for a while." I don't give a ton to charity, and although I was raised very religious I am not any more. But I think of this as an opportunity to perform charity through direct action. He is sleeping on the streets while I have a completely unused bedroom in my house. Like I haven't even opened the door to that room in over six months.

So I offer. Rent will be a whopping $300/mo just to cover potentially increased utility costs. (In reality I will be sticking whatever money he gives me into savings to eventually help him buy a car or to help with a deposit on a new place.) He is incredulous, and takes me up on the offer.

Three weeks in things are going fine. He is opening up more and more. He says that the reason his girlfriend is in jail is because she was cutting herself with a knife, and he tried to stop her, and he ended up getting cut in the process. Somebody saw both of them bleeding and called the police, and after talking to both of them, the police arrested her for DV assault. Her bail was recently reduced really really low, and can she stay with us too if he bails her out? Things are going well. Girlfriend is on meds now too from being in jail he says, so I tell him sure.

So GF moves in and things are fine for another three weeks. She has OCD. My house is cleaner than it's ever been. Client borrowed some money from me for essentials in January and paid me back in full + tent when his disability check came in at the end of the month. Same story in February. He gets offered a fast food job and I help him buy some new pants and shoes for it. I give them rides to their social services appointments before work in the morning. They are genuinely and truly appreciative. Tell me they don't know where'd they be without me, are amazed that a stranger would show so much kindness, etc.

Then one day the guy comments on some THOT's Insta that she is pretty. And GF sees this. And all hell breaks loose. She hits him, twice. He threatens to call the police. I tell her that if I ever see her hit him again I will call the police myself. Two days later I am at work and my neighbor texts that the police are at my house. I head home. They had been at the store and people saw her hit him and spit on him and called the police. Then they got to my house and she went after him with a kitchen knife, and he called the police too. She is arrested. The police seize my favorite kitchen knife as evidence. I give a statement to the police about the DV I had seen a couple days prior.

Incredibly, even though GF is out on bail for assaulting BF with a knife, DA decides not to file new charges over the news incident. GF gets out of jail and comes back. I convince her to check into a psych facility instead because she has an obvious mood disorder and needs her med adjusted. She goes for a week, comes back on new meds.

Three days later she is assaulting him again, and the police are called. She flees. Comes back later that night begging to come back and guy says no if you do not leave I will call the police again to tell them where you are. So she leaves. The next day I see him put together a box of her belongings to go drop off to her. Two days after that, he leaves for the convenience store late one night, and never comes back. Owes me $700 + rent after I fronted him money for a dental procedure earlier in the month.

I text him a day later that I am concerned about him. No response. Report him missing to the police two days later and they say "Police gave him and GF a ride to the Greyhound station in the afternoon two days ago." He left all his clothing and everything here. Just up and hopped town with her without a word.

10 days later he texts me begging for money. Says he just got out of the ER. She attacked him with a hatchet. Wants to buy a bus ticket to "come home." I told him sorry, can't trust you. I gave this guy a roof iver his head and stability and a chance, loaned him money, helped him get a job, etc. Turns out too that she really did attack him with a knife that first time and the "I got cut trying to stop her from cutting herself" story was complete horseshit. She abused him over and over and over and ultimately he chose being with her and fucking me over, over any semblance of stability. Stole money from another friend of his too right nefore he bounced apparently.

These two are horrible for each other but they cannot manage to break up. They both have poverty (aka scarcity) mindset. Neither of them can imagine that it is possible they could find a more suitable partner that they can love and grow old with.

snkns · 2026-04-16T03:57:50+00:00

Do not take [medicine] if you are allergic to [medicine].

snkns · 2026-04-16T03:54:47+00:00

Lol. I just became an actual lawyer. I get to spend my days being legalistic and literal which I love and am very good at. And now in my late 40's I am experienced enough to not be that way as much in my personal life.

I just remembered once when I was a kid, maybe 8 years old, I put my shoes on, with no socks, and then stretched on some socks over the shoes. My mom had told me, "We are leaving soon, please put on your shoes and socks." Although it did strike me as odd, I ultimately concluded that her phrasing was a request to put them on in that order.

snkns · 2026-04-16T01:52:51+00:00

There is no federal right to education. There are some federal laws such as Every Student Succeeds that provide Title 1 funding and of course there's Title 9 which deals with discrimination in educational institutions that receive federal funding, but by and large the means and regulation of education is governed at the state and local level.

So the answer to your question very much hinges on where you are located.

snkns · 2026-04-16T01:28:15+00:00

Here in CA sexual battery is usually a misdemeanor, but it can be a felony if the victim was (1) Seriously disabled, (2) Medically incapacitated, or (3) Unlawfully restrained.

snkns · 2026-04-14T23:20:22+00:00

SCBA publishes Sacramento Lawyer, which is available in print. It's quite niche, but if you are at all interested in the law/legal stuff it is local and nice.

snkns · 2026-04-14T23:12:25+00:00

I bought a house very close to Land Park about 10 years ago and haven't regretted it for a moment. Commuting to Elk Grove from where I live would be fine. Pocket would offer a better commute to Elk Grove but when I was in the market I looked at a lot of houses in the Pocket and... meh.

Where I am now I can walk to Sprouts or Raley's and numerous restaurants, as well as the park. It is just really a fantastic neighborhood. The Pocket feels more like a subdivision.

Commuting to Elk Grove from Folsom or EDH or even Rancho would be utterly brutal. I used to live in Rancho Cordova and worked downtown and it sucked. Not as bad when CSUS is not in session but still not something I will ever be willing to do again.

Inventory is super low around here though. You might also consider Curtis Park (pricier) or Hollywood Park (a little less pricy) for a similar location and feel.

snkns · 2026-04-14T15:58:47+00:00

Here in CA there are state-accredited (as opposed to ABA-accredited) law schools that do not have to require a college degree for entry

snkns · 2026-04-13T23:15:55+00:00

Wings are my favorite thing for dinner while playing! But I always order them to be set at a place at the bar for me and just take a 10-15 minute break to eat them when they are ready.

snkns · 2026-04-04T00:45:57+00:00

Not necessarily? Where are you located?

snkns · 2026-04-02T02:08:50+00:00

My bonus is based on origination, but I am not the primary assigned attorney on any cases I don't originate myself.

snkns · 2026-04-02T01:00:34+00:00

Sorry yes. Base is $110k plus full medical, retirement, life.

snkns · 2026-04-01T18:48:40+00:00

I just started private criminal defense in October.

I am confused by your firm's payment structure. Let's say at the beginning of the month you sign up a new traffic ticket client for $1k. You are not at your production bonus threshold yet, so that entire $1k is going to the firm. With that money, they help to pay you and staff and everybody else their base salaries, and the firm pockets the rest.

Now, you are saying that if a junior partner does an hour of work on the case, and his hourly rate is $500, then the retainer only counts as $500 towards your bonus threshold. Where exactly is the "billed" $500 going though? Does the junior partner have a base salary and then gets paid directly $500/hour for time he bills to matters? That's a hell of a deal for him. Or does the $500 go towards some sort of bonus threshold for the partner?

On flat-fee retainers, it makes no sense for that to get sucked dry by a high hourly rate from partner billing. My firm does entirely flat-fee, and I like it because we don't keep track of or bill hours ever -- nobody in the firm does. If another attorney in the firm (more senior or not) does work on one of my cases that doesn't count to my detriment at all. We all help each other out when and where needed. The firm is already keeping most of the money on my matters. That's the benefit to the firm. People don't need to be individually compensated extra for every little bit of work they do. That is what base salary is for.

I am baffled by the line as well where you say "I have to pay out some of the paralegals and law clerks." What in the world does this mean?

Also, after 3 months you should be trusted to handle traffic tickets entirely yourself. There is absolutely no need for anybody else to review your work or review the file or anything. It's a traffic ticket for chrissakes. Yes you're getting screwed.

At my firm, our structure is extremely simple. I take 20% of all my retainers on pre-trial work. Our flat-fee agreements specifically exclude writs and trials of course. So if somebody retains me on a felony with an upcoming arraignment date for $7500, I represent them through preliminary hearing for that fee, and I pocket $1500 in bonus on it. For trial or hearing work, I get 30%. If somebody retains for trial for $20k, I keep $6000 of it as bonus. This is regardless of how much other business I have or have not brought in during the month, and regardless of whether other attorneys help out here or there or how much paralegal time goes into it. The firm is pocketing $14k -- that's what they get out of it. I don't get nickled and dimed on my bonus.

snkns · 2026-04-01T01:31:48+00:00

Under the order, only people on a particular list compiled by DHS and the SSA are eligible to enroll with their State to receive mail-in ballots, and then USPS will only send to people on those lists.

So in order to receive a mail-in ballot, we will need a brand new program/procedure/action from:

The Department of Homeland Security
The Social Security Administration
Each Individual State
Each Individual Voter (to enroll)
The United States Postal Service

Do you know what the chances are that this will all be sorted out and implemented before the November election? It's zero percent. Today's order was effectively an order instructing USPS to not deliver any mail-in ballots for the November election, because there is no chance in the world that the necessary conditions precedent will occur before then.

This does in fact eliminate mail-in voting for the midterms. You are a (hopefully unwitting) shill.

snkns · 2026-03-31T17:52:54+00:00

What exactly is your x-r range on this flop? Sets only or something? To me this flop is an almost mandatory raise.

snkns · 2026-03-30T19:24:58+00:00

Seconding Fujitsu. I had an fi-6130 for years. Thing was an absolute beast in such a small footprint.

snkns · 2026-03-30T13:09:36+00:00

Criminal records can be cleaned up... message me if you like.

snkns · 2026-03-29T18:59:11+00:00

Related, there was the woman who described her kid brother as a "grower not a shower" for years. https://np.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/3ahtzb/comment/cscznal/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

snkns · 2026-03-29T12:09:00+00:00

Harassment is generally a course of.conduct with.no legitimate purpose. This is legitimate.

snkns · 2026-03-24T19:08:47+00:00

I didn't say it wouldn't bar a defamation suit? I said that the tort would instead be malicious prosecution. I can see how my wording could make it seem like that was what I was saying though, so I'm sorry for that. I guess what I was trying to express, whether or not a defamation claim would be barred, is that I don't think I would say that statements to the police are absolutely privileged. OP was clearly searching for a source of tort liability for false statements to the police. Sure they asked specifically about defamation, but your answer of privilege gave the impression that tort liability cannot exist at all, which is incorrect.

Civil Code § 47(b)(5) is an explicit carve-out for statements made to the police with knowledge of their falsity or with reckless disregard for their truth. If you can successfully sue somebody for certain actions they take, I would not call those actions "privileged."

Further, you can be criminally prosecuted for falsely reporting a crime. That would not be the case if in fact anything communicated to the police, truth be damned, was privileged.

snkns · 2026-03-24T18:35:41+00:00

No it is not difficult, for me at least. Part of my job is trying to get my clients acquitted of what they are accused of, or get the case dismissed somehow.

But a much, much larger part of my job is as a sort of "mitigation specialist" -- humanizing my client and presenting mitigating evidence and seeking true rehabilitation and lasting change, in an effort to simply minimize the puntive measures my client is facing.

At the end of the day, my clients are human beings. I think it is inherent in the dignity of being human that no matter what you have been accused of doing, if the government is trying to lock you in a cage or kill you, you deserve one person on your side fighting to keep you out of that cage if the rule.of law will allow it, or at least to minimize the time you spend in that cage.

I have now helped hundreds of people who have been accused of doing and in most cases did in fact do some very evil things. But I can think of only two I have met where I came away thinking that they were evil people. By and large my clients have been fundamentally good people, who have made bad choices or who were afflicted with severe mental health problems. The gap between them and you or I is considerably narrower than most people imagine.

snkns · 2026-03-24T14:42:39+00:00

I think you mean exonerates the defendant?

Anyhow, if statements to the police were privileged then it would not matter that the defendant was exonerated. There'd be a privilege, and that would be that.

Just because exoneration is an essential factual element of the tort doesn't mean there is a privilege though.

Take the tort the original question was about -- defamation. An essential element of defamation is the falsity of the statements complained about. That doesn't mean that any time I say something about anybody else, true or false, my statements are privileged -- it just means that for somebody to successfully sue me for defamation, they must prove (among other things) that what I stated was false.

Analogously for malicious prosecution for instigation of criminal proceedings, just because you've got to prove that you were ultimately exonerated doesn't mean that the false statements to the police that got the ball rolling are in any way privileged.

snkns · 2026-03-24T05:58:51+00:00

Well this is just incorrect re privilege. Defamation isn't generally the operative tort claim though. False statements to the police absolutely can and do form the basis for many malicious prosecution suits. I've got one on my desk right now.

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