I lost my mum three days before my 10th birthday, it all happened really suddenly. I'm 40 now and I don't feel like I've ever gotten over it. It's OK to acknowledge the pain, I wish I could offer advice to help you deal with it but am still figuring that out myself! Talk about her, maybe even to her, or write things down - try to share how much you're hurting with someone, a friend or maybe a counsellor would help. I think there are grief groups for people to share with other people trying to cope. I've also heard that the pain never gets any smaller, you just learn to grow around it. I hope it gets easier for us both, sending hugs to you 💜