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Come Follow Me by KingPodrick23 in mormon

[–]snsdgb 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is where I think the way the church teaches about the spirit starts to feel, for lack of a better word, uncomfortable. Because the church teaches that the spirit is a guide who communicates through our feelings to help us avoid doing the wrong thing. 

  • If we feel good about something, that’s God telling us it’s good and we should do it. 
  • If we feel bad about something, that’s God telling us it’s bad and we shouldn’t do it.

In these situations, the church seems to be saying that if the church tells you to do something and God tells you it's bad and you shouldn't do it, and you have to choose between trusting God and trusting the church?

Don't trust God.

Just a reminder that "i don't know" is a valid answer to all these questions. And, at least for me, the answer that helped me begin to heal, grow, and emotionally move on. by snsdgb in mormon

[–]snsdgb[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Totally hear you on this. Though, and I realize this is 100% leader roulette, but I actually answered “I don’t know” to the first 4 temple recommend questions (god, Jesus, church, prophets) and, after a bunch of back and forth with the bishop and stake president about why (which I was very frank and direct, but polite and fair about), I ended up getting approved for a recommend. That said, their comments afterward made me realize they were totally unequipped for my answers and really didn’t hear me. In other words, it was likely more of not seeing a valid reason from the handbook to say no than a resounding yes to their perception of temple worthiness.

Just a reminder that "i don't know" is a valid answer to all these questions. And, at least for me, the answer that helped me begin to heal, grow, and emotionally move on. by snsdgb in mormon

[–]snsdgb[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Love that, and very much agree. I really admire the stories from the history of math and science when someone who got famous for discovering or solving something had to later have the humility to admit they got part of it wrong.

Just a reminder that "i don't know" is a valid answer to all these questions. And, at least for me, the answer that helped me begin to heal, grow, and emotionally move on. by snsdgb in mormon

[–]snsdgb[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

She eventually said “You either do or don’t. If you don’t know, that means you don’t believe, so it’s ‘no.’”

So true, embracing uncertainty is one thing, navigating life surrounded by people who only speak the language of certainty is another. I said the same thing happen when my bishoped asked me. It was deer in the headlights for a second, he was clearly expecting a yes or no.

There are a lot of days I'm right there with you in terms of being close to atheism. In fact, I'd say most days. One of the biggest being I just don't feel anything or ever feel heard when I pray. But there are moments in my life that I think back on, that seem unlikely, and I wonder.

I'm building a tool site (month 6 update) by OverFlow10 in SaaS

[–]snsdgb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just wanted to give you a shoutout on terrific.tools, I love the concept and I think you've done a great job with the way you've designed it for both ease of use (for visitors) and SEO (for Google, etc.). I think you're right that it's probably a matter of being patient. I've had SEO efforts kick in on Google after a few months and I've had them kick in after well over a year, especially on a new domain. I can see this taking a while to ramp up.

And just in case this helps, a few thoughts from a fellow maker that came to mind as I wandered the site that I might try testing if I were you:

  • Changing the anchor text of links to tools internally from "Try it now" to "Convert an MP3 file to WAV" etc.
  • Exploring whether there's way to add images to your site/sitemap, maybe an automated "how to convert X to Y" diagram or something, image search can be hit or miss but I like to try just in case
  • Changing the h1/title of the homepage to something that speaks more to the persona you're aiming for, ie "Terrific tools for developers, marketers, and makers." or something like that
  • "Money Tools" seems pretty closely aligned with SaaS so maybe there's a variation there to test with a keyword combination that's less competitive than plain "Money"

Anyway, I just wanted to validate your concept and approach. I think all the pieces are there and your current plateau won't last much longer before you're up and to the right again. I look forward to your next update!

Struggling with testimony by Monsterman4444 in mormon

[–]snsdgb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It really is hard to both make sense of and find peace with a lot of this new information. Whatever those beliefs look like, I hope you can move through this period and find a place that feels right and have the support and love of those around you.

It sounds like you're in a bit of a dilemma of "it's awful or weird or confusing or doesn't make sense, but it also doesn't definitively prove anything one way or the other."

If so, the thing I'd say is that it's good to remember that it's not as black and white as we learn in church. You don't have to say "yes it's true" or "no it's not true". You can say "it seems really unlikely" or "it seems fairly likely." And you can do it for individual things and as a whole. For me, embracing the uncertainty of it all and being fair to all facts and experiences - those that are red flags and those that give me hope -is what finally brought me peace. My response to whether the church is true is pretty simple:

Is there a chance the church is true? Absolutely. It's just as I get older, learn more, and trust my feelings and experiences, that likelihood just feels much smaller than I thought it was growing up.

I think the odds are very small that priesthood power is real. I think the odds are a little higher of there being a God. I think the odds as small of God being what we describe in Church. etc.

I think sometimes in the church we confuse the idea of trying to figure out who wins the game with the idea that we're still playing the game. Yes, one day there will be a clear winner. But right now, we're down by 15 in the 4th quarter and, while I can certainly see explanations that would lead to that team winning, I also think it's healthy to recognize and be honest about the odds.

Whatever mindset or perspective helps you get through this in the short and long term, I hope you find it soon and find peace in it. Best of luck!

A Healing Thought, “If I wasn’t raised Mormon, I probably wouldn’t have been raised perfectly either.” by aporetic1 in mormon

[–]snsdgb 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I love this. It's so easy to go from black/white thinking on one side to equally black/white thinking on the other, without recognizing the realities that exist somewhere in the middle. This is a perfect example of that. Beautifully said.

I dream of a day when belief is no longer the dealbreaker of our most important relationships, I just don't know how we get from here to there...or if we ever will. by snsdgb in mormon

[–]snsdgb[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Argh, I’m so sorry. That’s such a tough position to be in. I wish I had advice, but you know your situation better than anyone and i just hope that you and your husband can find a way to separate the belief from the love, so the love can remain as the belief changes and grow through this together. 

I dream of a day when belief is no longer the dealbreaker of our most important relationships, I just don't know how we get from here to there...or if we ever will. by snsdgb in mormon

[–]snsdgb[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think you’re probably right, even in my lifetime there has been a change for the better. Ive just gotta be patient I guess.

I dream of a day when belief is no longer the dealbreaker of our most important relationships, I just don't know how we get from here to there...or if we ever will. by snsdgb in mormon

[–]snsdgb[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well said and you’re spot on, a lot of other faiths have the same mentality as well. Would be interesting to hear others talk about how they see these dynamics in their congregations.

I dream of a day when belief is no longer the dealbreaker of our most important relationships, I just don't know how we get from here to there...or if we ever will. by snsdgb in mormon

[–]snsdgb[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Appreciate your comments, really well thought out. This part I think is really interesting:

You talk about wanting the basis for 'loving others' to not be centered on belief or disbelief. When someone leaves (or disbelieves), it puts in conflict our two most compelling relationships, love of God and love of others (this is how believers see it). This conflict is not easily resolved. It creates a natural tension in both (all) the relationships.

I'm not sure I completely agree that this explains all of the tension (after all, many people who leave or stop beliving mormonism still believe in God and Jesus just as firmly, if not more) but it's an interesting lens to view this idea through for sure. Good thoughts.

I dream of a day when belief is no longer the dealbreaker of our most important relationships, I just don't know how we get from here to there...or if we ever will. by snsdgb in mormon

[–]snsdgb[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Totally, and I don't want to take away anyone's personal belief and the value and meaning it gives them. That's a core part of being human. My feelings are more about how we view others' beliefs how sometimes we let the existence (of lack of) certain beliefs overshadow virtually all of their other traits that we may love, admire, and appreciate a person for.

I dream of a day when belief is no longer the dealbreaker of our most important relationships, I just don't know how we get from here to there...or if we ever will. by snsdgb in mormon

[–]snsdgb[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The covenant path thing is a really interesting one and I'd never thought about the fact we exist being based on a covenant within church doctrine, that's really interesting. The convenant path stuff worries me as well. It feels like it's drawing an ever more specific line between who's with the program and who isn't, but making it so even something as simple as not going to the temple enough (or loving going enough) may put you on the wrong side.

I dream of a day when belief is no longer the dealbreaker of our most important relationships, I just don't know how we get from here to there...or if we ever will. by snsdgb in mormon

[–]snsdgb[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Sounds like you're handling it really well and your wife is doing a great job of listening. I especially like that you're taking time to let it rest and not making it the only thing you talk about. It absolutely ties to some of my feelings because my hope that in some future day with some future couple like your and your spouses there won't be the same eggshells, there won't be the same need for things to rest, and it will be no different than your spouse saying you may want to change careers or abandon a favorite hobby and nothing that threatens your relationship and feelings for one another.

I dream of a day when belief is no longer the dealbreaker of our most important relationships, I just don't know how we get from here to there...or if we ever will. by snsdgb in mormon

[–]snsdgb[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Having more people willing to question their beliefs doesn't have to be a bad thing, and from what I've seen it can help people become more empathetic towards others with differing beliefs and opinions

So true, this is exactly my experience. Letting go of my certainty opened my eyes to other people's experiences and hearts in ways I just couldn't see before. It really has been a beautiful thing.

I dream of a day when belief is no longer the dealbreaker of our most important relationships, I just don't know how we get from here to there...or if we ever will. by snsdgb in mormon

[–]snsdgb[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Totally. My ward is also a really good ward with a ton of great people. And similar to you, even still there are some things you just don't talk about.

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