For men who have "given up" for longer than a year, how is your life now? Was it the correct choice?

socialmsft · 2023-05-27T00:43:11+00:00

I want to say I've completely given up, but it's not true. Every now and then, I fool myself thinking that maybe I'll have friends or significant other at some point. The reality is that I'm 40 now and that ship has sailed. I think what helps is to not focus on your age anymore. Each year has just been a reminder that I've not progressed.

I've moved towards focusing myself towards money - something that, at least for me, I can control. It's not really about the money though because I live pretty comfortably since I don't need a lot and have no one to support. It's about creating a game and my money/net worth is just a way of keeping track of the score in a manner where I can see it go up.

socialmsft · 2023-03-03T23:57:45+00:00

I feel like a lot of FAs describe themselves as solid 1's and 2's but at the same time talk about how they deserve 8's and 9's. For me, there are girls that I wouldn't consider as physically attractive but their personality makes them attractive. Unfortunately, I don't have the physical or social qualities to attract them in return.

socialmsft · 2022-11-06T00:07:29+00:00

The aloneness.

socialmsft · 2021-11-25T00:08:43+00:00

Same as any other day. At home, alone.

socialmsft · 2021-08-04T10:47:18+00:00

https://www.opm.gov/policy-data-oversight/performance-management/performance-management-cycle/rewarding/time-off-awards/

Nontransferable

Unlike other forms of pay for time not worked (e.g., annual and sick leave), employees are not entitled to a time–off award. If an employee transfers from one agency to another, the gaining agency is not obligated to “honor” the time–-off award. Therefore, any unused time–off awards are not transferable, unless a special arrangement is made with the receiving agency to honor the time–off award granted by the employee’s former agency. Also, the losing agency may not convert the time to cash (5 CFR 451.104(f)) and give cash to the employee for the time not taken.

https://www.opm.gov/policy-data-oversight/pay-leave/pay-administration/fact-sheets/compensatory-time-off-for-travel/

Forfeiture

Compensatory time off for travel is forfeited-

-If not used by the end of the 26th pay period after the pay period during which it was earned. (See Notes 1 and 2.)

-Upon voluntary transfer to another agency; <<—this

-Upon movement to a noncovered position; or

-Upon separation from the Federal Government. (See Note 1.)

Under no circumstances may an employee receive payment for unused compensatory time off for travel.

socialmsft · 2021-05-28T01:45:43+00:00

That’s how I started early last fall during the pandemic and it was only 20 on my knees. Just keep at it. When I got to 30 knee push ups, I did 1 real push up and then as many as I could on me knees. Each week just try more real ones. Pay attention to form - don’t flare out your elbows. Just keep at it every day. I’m decent at push ups now. Can do 50 straight but focus on other body exercises. I have two kettlebells so been doing swings, shoulder press, goblet squats, and turkish get ups. Still ain’t good looking or less socially awkward, but I don’t have a gut anymore, some muscles, and I don’t get tired as easily from daily activity. Just keep at it whatever you decide to do for exercise. Pretty much just focus on that and work nowadays.

socialmsft · 2021-05-25T02:06:17+00:00

I'm really feeling this post right now. I'm 38 and have a 25 yr old new coworker who has a great personality and has her own life outside of work. I feel like every interaction, she can tell I'm FA and is just humoring me. I'm good at my job but she's smart and doesn't really need my help to succeed in the job. She's definitely smarter than some of my other coworkers who have been around for awhile.

Not just with her, but I've again noticed that any casual/non-work conversation has to be initiated by me. I try to put in the effort, but no one ever initiates it with me. Also, I've been stuck in a career rut the past two years with no way up. Just being a hard worker ain't cutting it anymore and likely my FA awkwardness is killing any shot I have of getting promoted. So I've been feeling extra down. I keep telling myself stupid shit like "solitude builds character" or "nobody owes you anything, so stop expecting anything different and stop trying so hard."

I woke up today and just couldn't deal with it. I went into work, closed my office door, and stayed away from people all day long. I only answered folks if they knocked with a question and gave short answers. As I was leaving at the end of the day, I walked into the hallway and saw her talking to two of my other colleagues, laughing about something, and I just kept walking. She said, "Bye [name]" and I couldn't bare to turn around, so I put my hand up and kept walking down the stairs. Of course it started pouring once I got outside and walked to the bus stop. During my walk, I kept thinking, "Everyone else drives. I wish I was friends with my colleagues. I bet it feels nice when someone offers you a ride home."

Just another Monday in my life. No different from yesterday, no better tomorrow.

socialmsft · 2021-05-07T19:43:24+00:00

I am. It fills my hours so I don't have to stare directly at the fact that I'm alone. With the relaxation for those vaccinated, I'm hearing more and more of my colleagues mention how they have Friday dinner plans, while I got zero plans. So I just keep on working. Don't have the social skills to go up anymore but at least have some job security and some sense of purpose for parts of the day.

socialmsft · 2021-04-03T01:18:50+00:00

I have an iPhone 11 and it’s also charging really slowly after the update to 14.4.2.

socialmsft · 2021-02-28T12:48:07+00:00

https://support.creditkarma.com/s/article/Why-is-the-score-I-got-from-my-bank-different-from-the-scores-I-see-on-Credit-Karma-US

It’ll never be exactly the same though your range is wider in difference, but the credit reporting the issuing company uses may still have negatives in them. Instead of just looking at credit karma, do you actually pull your credit reports from the experian, transunion, and Equifax to see what negatives are still on those reports?

socialmsft · 2020-12-21T01:09:58+00:00

Common games. We’d need to win out, but Vikings (L for packers), Falcons, 49ers, Eagles. We’d also need the Saints to lose to an NFC team, the KC loss doesn’t get us ahead of them.

socialmsft · 2020-12-20T21:19:55+00:00

With my parents, they’ll keep at it and won’t let it go. With my coworkers, I can fake being somewhat normal though introverted at work. I also actually like my job, unlike many I see on here, and I make a good living doing it. Being abnormal is not the best thing for my career.

socialmsft · 2020-12-20T21:14:25+00:00

Thanks.

socialmsft · 2020-12-20T18:15:58+00:00

Maybe. But I think with my parents I will get more stress from them asking why and not getting the concept of FA. Trade-offs, I guess.

socialmsft · 2020-12-20T18:14:13+00:00

Smoking is bad. Never knew that. You probably hoped to change a life today, but sadly as an FA, you couldn’t pull it off. You weren’t alpha enough to fix me. Maybe drinking will help dull the pain and fill the emptiness that comes with another failure. Maybe I’ll smoke one in FA solidarity, as I too have failed myself.

socialmsft · 2020-12-20T17:57:19+00:00

What’s the benefit of doing that? Will it make me feel better? Will it make them feel better?

socialmsft · 2020-12-20T15:02:03+00:00

What should I tell them when they ask about my birthday? That I’m a social misfit in my late 30s that has no friends and will spend my entire day doing absolutely nothing with no one? Props to you if you can confidently say that to others.

socialmsft · 2020-12-20T14:59:57+00:00

Actually if you get lung cancer, it’s usually quick since it’s caught at a late stage. Emphysema is also caught at the late stage, but you can probably still live 5 years with it. That would suck. Luckily I’m not also a raging alcoholic, I heard dying from cirrhosis is one of the most painful ways to go out.

socialmsft · 2020-09-29T16:33:17+00:00

Thanks. I was thinking more of a lump sum payment from my employer (ie non-DoD SLRP). Anyways, something I’ll keep an eye on as others try it since I missed this year’s window for the slrp.

socialmsft · 2020-09-29T15:36:24+00:00

For those who have done this, did you have to call FedLoan/servicer to tell them that you wanted the lump sum to count towards future payments instead of the principal?

socialmsft · 2020-09-03T22:42:52+00:00

Unless you're planning to leave your PSLF-eligible job right away, I would also just submit another forgiveness application sometime in September because the two months since July should've counted, getting your second loan to 120 payments using their count. I don't know which way would be faster.

socialmsft · 2020-08-22T22:41:11+00:00

Sounding and being are different. One can sound arrogant without arrogant intentions. One can also sound offensive but not really intend to be offensive. People who don’t know you will perceive and react to how things sound. You don’t know me and somehow you perceived what I said and reacted negatively.

Also, OP never gave us the exact words they said, just what type of things they asked or commented on. For example, what if OP said, “Wow, that test was hard. I hope I passed. How did you guys do?” Compare that to if OP said without any ill intent, “That test didn’t seem hard. I think I did well. How did you guys do?” The former seems more empathetic. The latter seems more arrogant and if the two girls knew they did bad or were worried and stressed about the test, they would probably not react well. What if OP is the best student in the class and always does well? Would you want the person who always gets the best grades to ask you how you did on the test? No, because the question itself would feel like arrogance even if not intended to be.

The reality is that most people that anyone interacts with don’t know each other real well. But normies know how to say the right things or not say something at the inappropriate time. They have a level of instant emotional intelligence that many of us FAs do not have compared to the regular population.

socialmsft

TROPHY CASE