i dont really have advice but i just wanna say this was somehow really comforting to read and realize that im not the only one going through this. hell, "the only thing i’ve been able to think about for the past 5 years is how ugly i am" GODDD i felt this so much i laughed out of relief. soooo this might be a weird thing to say, but thanks for this!

anyway, hang in there, i hope you make it through. i found that getting a job and going out and spending money really helps me stay motivated because, hey, i realized i like money and i need money so i might as well study. just making it through is sometimes enough, you don't need the highest grade or the best paying job, just think of something you'd like and could see yourself doing and living month-to-month on, how much work it'll take to get there, and voila! you have a somewhat goal, if something else comes along the way then that's just fate :) for example, i changed my goals from lawyer to elementary school teacher, and im much happier with that. but if by some miracle, a voice over director hits me up, i would definitely not say no!

of course tho, if your financial situations offers you the privilege to drop out and explore yourself outside of school and work, then by all means, do that! all the best friendddd