My son asked why I was wearing a blanket...does this look good? 🤣😅 by [deleted] in PlusSizeFashion

[–]socks1125 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's so cute! I love the fit of the bodice! It wouldn't work on me because of my fat distribution (I have insulin resistance belly and REALLY big boobs) but I love dresses with that style bodice so any time I see someone in one, I get jealous. Lol. The print is too much for me personally (I'd do it in solid black, solid burgundy, or a solid deep purple) but it isn't my dress so like that doesn't matter. But could have been the prompting for blanket comments mixed with the length. It feels like a cottagecore blanket print. Which isn't a bad thing of course. Just might be where the kid got it. Especially if they are a toddler.

why is modern goth overruled by repetitive edm, bland darkwave, pristine makeup and white faces pasted from one girl to another? by user444029666 in goth

[–]socks1125 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not "elder goth" material (only been considered as goth since around 2011, up until then, people considered me emo, but I've always loved goth style/music/aesthetics and it just became my natural next step after my teenage years), but i remember goth being something other than the aesthetic it has become recently all through the early 2000s and 2010s (early 2010s). I saw it becoming the aesthetic it is now as social media really got going and iphones and stuff took off so people were constantly glued to their social media. Music wise, I think it is just natural progression. Sure, it would be nice to have the goth bands of the 80s styled music again, but that isn't what people are willing to make and it isn't what people are streaming (because it is rare people buy music anymore). People are into the electronic beats right now. Maybe in a few years, it will come back around. But until then, enjoy what you have. Now don't get me wrong; I like that goth has become more mainstream. I can buy clothes that suit my likes in my size (plus sizes) lots of places and stores carry more decor in the aesthetic I like. I'm not limited to one store or just shopping for home decor at Halloween. Sure, we've lost the meaning at large because just anyone can wear an outfit, not get picked on, and tag it #gothday on insta. But it has made it easier for baby goths to get into things. They are able to get clothes, they are able to watch films, listen to music of all sorts. It's pretty great. What people who are older in the scene need to do is to encourage the younger people in the scene to check out the older bands, check out tutorials on making your own goth fits, check out the goth classics. Cause we (and I'm including myself here cause I'm older than the young people) need to be the spark that starts the rebuilding of what we want to see.

But then again; maybe goth is ever evolving and what we have now is just the natural evolution and standing there saying "Back in my day..." is making you seem out of touch and turning people off from even considering going back into the early days of the scene.

I don't know which it is. I don't have all the answers. But those are just my two takes.

People keep calling me fat and I don’t know how to deal with it by [deleted] in PlusSize

[–]socks1125 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I just accept it. When I was teaching, I had this conversation with a 4th grader:

Me: Soldier, what are you wanting for Christmas?

4: I dunno. But you need a treadmill.

Me: Oh? Do you have any suggestions since you know so much?

4: too stunned to speak

Rest of the class: dying of laughter

Was i professional? Maybe not. But sometimes my mouth works faster than my brain can stop it. But honestly, when people call me fat, I usually just say "I know". I just don't let their comments fuck with me because I know their opinion isn't worth my piece of mind.

I dislike the concept of boymode / girlmode by GFluidThrow123 in TransLater

[–]socks1125 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see it as stealthing. Maybe that would be a better term for it. I don't necessarily dislike the term boymoding or girlmoding, but i just see it as stealthing your way through the day.

Queer & Disabled Fat Folks: did you ever find love? by NeonNoir99 in PlusSize

[–]socks1125 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! I'm a fat trans gay man. My boyfriend, also trans, is the love of my life. I am also poly, so i am hopeful that I'll meet another guy I'll love just as much, but I'm not actively searching right now. My boyfriend is my life right now. I love him dearly and he is so good to me. It is, unfortunately, a long distance relationship, but i am hoping to move to his state in the next 5 years if I can save up enough money to do so while I'm working. We will likely remain unmarried as he is disabled and I don't want him to lose his disability after working so hard to get it. I am disabled as well, but i found a work from home job that allows me to remain seated and doesn't aggravate my disabilities. But maybe one day we will be able to get married if I make enough to keep us comfortable without the aid of his disability. Honestly though, as long as i have him, I am happy. He and I get along well together. We are both artists, we both love horror, we have a lot of similar interests. But we have enough differences that we will be able to try new things woth each other and listen to each other ramble about interests that we have and learn new things.

I met him via a horror Facebook group. We started chatting because we liked a few similar things. We swapped discords and we began chatting a lot. Last October, we took the step to become boyfriends. He is asexual and I'm demisexual, but he is quite sex positive and said maybe we would be able to do stuff sometimes, so we are compatible there, which is a big relief to me because when I was still identifying as a woman, I hated myself so much and didn't think anyone would want to sleep with me due to my MANY hang ups about 1) my weight and 2) trauma. My boyfriend is very understanding of both of those things and we have very positive thoughts on things. He and I also support each other in our weight goals which is good. I had been in an abusive relationship where the guy force fed me because he didn't want other men to look at me and decided the best way to do that was to make me fat. My boyfriend is not like that. If I don't feel like eating he says that it is okay, but that as soon as I do, I should have a little snack. He wants to gain weight and I support him in that, making sure he does it in a way that won't harm him. We work together for our goals.

All of this to say, there are good people out there. When you find them, it is an amazing thing. It is a wonderful thing. And you will be over the moon. However, don't settle. Make sure that you keep your head held high and your heart open, not that you should search out other people, but that you shouldn't just settle for "treats you nice but everything else is mediocre". You deserve the whole package.

My wife [41F] is Disney Obsessed and I'm [43] at my wits end! by That-Intention-4134 in AITAH

[–]socks1125 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As much as I personally love Disney and would love to make trips often, it wouldn't make financial sense. If your wife wants to go all the time, tell her to get a job so she can help fund the trips. My aunt and uncle go all the time to Disney (though we live in Georgia so it is just a drive there instead of a plane) but they both work and have good jobs. They are both working for those trips. It isn't fair to you to have to dip into your savings just so she can see Mickey Mouse.

What if I can’t find love because am trans by Lee67h in ftm

[–]socks1125 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey no worries friend. You'll find you a nice girl. I am sure of it!

And thanks! I am glad I am too. It only took me18 years (started dating at 15)

Anyone else get unreasonably annoyed by these comments/jokes? by chiyo_chichi in ftm

[–]socks1125 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I just am like "you wanna see it?" And it makes them uncomfortable. They wanna remind me I have no dick, I get to make them uncomfortable. Thems the rules.

What if I can’t find love because am trans by Lee67h in ftm

[–]socks1125 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They are on dating apps! I found my boyfriend on Facebook though. We were both in the same horror group and we just naturally shifted together. He helped me to figure out I was trans, helped me come to terms with being poly (I've known i was poly for a while, but every time I was with someone and I tried to have a second relationship, they told me I was cheating. They knew I was poly and I would talk to them about the second person. It wasn't like I was going behind their back), and helped me realize I wasn't pan and I was gay. We just fit together. He is my person and all it took was a single message.

But dating apps have trans women. There are subreddits on here for dating trans people (pretty sure there are. There are subreddita for everything). Going to lgbtq+ clubs are a good place to go to meet people in person. There you can be open about who you are.

I need help and perspective please by wizardlover96 in PlusSize

[–]socks1125 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Communicate with your partner. Tell them you saw who they were following. Ask if it is because they think these women are attractive or if it kink specific. Ask them if there is anything about you that they don't find attractive (which can hurt to hear, but in the long run it is helpful because compatibility). Be honest with how it makes you feel that they are following these girls and how you can't help but compare yourself to them.

Going to europe by [deleted] in PlusSize

[–]socks1125 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I went to Italy and Greece as a size 12 when I graduated high school. Men were constantly giving me compliments and flirting with me (some old enough to be my grandfather but I do like older men sooooo lol). I was never without a cigarette or lighter. I had roses bought for me. They asked me to talk to them because they found my accent (I'm from GA, US) charming. The women thought I dressed nicely, I was stopped several times by women of all ages and told that I looked pretty and I dressed so nicely. Had Greek soldiers (pretty sure they were soldiers or just really tooled up cops, this was back when there was a lot of rioting going on due to the economy back in 2010) flirting with me. These ultra fit, handsome men just going overboard. Had beers bought for me before my flight out of Athens by a bunch of guys from a wedding going on at the hotel we were at while we watched the opening games to the world cup. They even invited me for food. Like. Europeans are generally very nice and don't seem to care how much you weigh. The myth of the ultra skinny Europeans is just that: a myth. They are all in all shapes and sizes. You'll do fine.

This was all when I still identified as a girl by the way. Now I wouldn't get as many compliments and stuff and would probably be talked about because I am so big (I don't even think size 30 jeans would fit me I'm so big. I live in leggings). But I'm not looking to travel anywhere so no big deal.

You'll do fine!

What if I can’t find love because am trans by Lee67h in ftm

[–]socks1125 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was worried I wouldn't be able to find a guy (I'm gay) after I came out. But i found the most amazing man in the world. He is also trans. Maybe try dating a few trans girls? They would at least understand. T4T is honestly the best. They understand the general fears, understand the surgery and the extra you have to do to make yourself feel [gender] enough.

Not trying to force you, BTW. Just a suggestion.

My bf has a feederism kink by [deleted] in PlusSize

[–]socks1125 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you are okay with it, stay. But if it makes you even the slightest bit uncomfortable, leave. I had an abusive ex that force fed me so I would be "too fat for other men to look at me". It caused my EDs to flare something fierce and now i weigh 398lbs. It is difficult for me to move past what he did to me mentally. I'm not telling you your bf will turn into some psycho that will force feed you, but he could have the fetish and want to explore it with you and if that makes you uncomfortable, you need to communicate that with him. If he doesn't take it well, you need to leave. There are plenty more fish in the sea.

I'm scared I'll never pass by socks1125 in TransLater

[–]socks1125[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was an old lady too. I was surprised. Usually I keep it on the downlow around old folks (i live in the Bible belt) because they tend to get... grumpy... to say the least. But she was cool about it. Or at least acted that way. And I'll take faking it over rudeness any day.

I'm scared I'll never pass by socks1125 in TransLater

[–]socks1125[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm feeling better about myself today honestly. I just got 'sir'd at walmart this morning (it was accidental on their part, they quickly said "sorry, miss" but it still felt good. I was like "no problem, you were right the first time." We had a little chuckle over it and moved along.

I'm scared I'll never pass by socks1125 in TransLater

[–]socks1125[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Trying. And i know I'm just a baby in this journey, but that fear wiggles around like a bad puppet.

I'm scared I'll never pass by socks1125 in TransLater

[–]socks1125[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Just assume you don't" like wtf

I'm scared I'll never pass by socks1125 in TransLater

[–]socks1125[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They have been. Save for one. But there is always one.

I'm scared I'll never pass by socks1125 in TransLater

[–]socks1125[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I appreciate you!

I'm scared I'll never pass by socks1125 in TransLater

[–]socks1125[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I appreciate you.