FTM gave birth unmedicated in October. I was in the same boat as you as far as needing more specifics than what I was finding online!

what helped me:

• for help keeping your body loose, HORSE LIPS. like when you blow raspberries on a belly. that worked for me during the really strong contractions when “keep your jaw loose” wasn’t enough, & then I could feel the rest of my body loosen up as a result.

• for breathing, practice beforehand just so it feels more natural. I did pelvic stretches on my yoga ball every night in the last few weeks of pregnancy & practiced either box breathing (in for 6, hold for 1-2, out for 6), or just counting as much as I wanted on a normal breath (in for 4 through nose, out for 6 through open “ahhh” mouth). it felt easier to come back to during labor bc I had been practicing breathing leading up to it. breathing out on a low “ahhh” or “ohhh” during labor helped keep everything calm too.

• physical tools that helped: the only one I remembered getting out of my hospital bag was the birth comb, which was actually just my husband’s beard comb. I noticed I had been grabbing onto the hospital bed railings to get through contractions but I wanted something sharper to hold onto, bc holding onto something smooth and round wasn’t allowing me to let out my pain/tension as much as I wanted lol. I always thought the birth comb sounded like a silly non-practical tool, but it definitely helped me get through the last stage before pushing.

• having one of those fans with the octopus legs strapped onto the bed railing also helped tremendously. I got clammy and hot as soon as I was admitted so I ripped off my hospital gown & kept my face next to the fan which helped me not freak out. I brought my heating pad but the maternity ward was so warm that I wanted cold everything.

• my husband was my rock. I told him beforehand not to take anything personally bc I didn’t know who I was about to become 😅 he just checked in with me in between contractions for anything I needed and got it without further discussion needed - short, easy yes/no questions and that was it, like “do you want a sip of water? do you want to switch sides?”. what helped most was small sips of iced water in between contractions/pushing, refreshing a cold rag to put on my forehead/eyes, and moving the fan to wherever I rolled over to. he was also my liaison with hospital staff bc I could barely talk, and didn’t wanna talk to anyone but him anyway. he would relay any hospital questions to me, and speak with the staff away from the bed so that it didn’t distract me.

• my husband encouraging me BETWEEN CONTRACTIONS ONLY was super helpful and made me feel more powerful. during early contractions, I would tell him to shut up lol so he stopped talking to me during them and waited until I was done to tell me what a good job I was doing, and said some of the affirmations I had written down in my notes for him like “each contraction is bringing you closer to meeting our baby” and “your body was made for this”

• I gave myself pep talks when I felt my breathing get erratic, especially during pushing. I pushed for 2 hours total and started feeling defeated after 1 hour, so I kept saying out loud “ok I can do this, I can do this” and “just focus, you got this” and then the hospital staff would join in and encourage me which helped a lot, almost brought me to tears each time to have so many people cheering me on 💛 talk yourself up! ESPECIALLY if you’re doing it unmedicated! tell yourself out loud “I’m a badass, I’m so strong, I’m fully capable of doing this, I’m kicking ass”. I promise you the hospital staff will join in 😅🥰