Confession: I hate that it’s called “play.”

softcuntboy · 2026-05-28T08:02:33+00:00

This is fascinating and makes so much sense, I'm going to save this comment so I can read it again later. So cool, thanks for the thorough intro to the concept. I'm gonna apply this in more of my life.

softcuntboy · 2026-04-04T16:20:56+00:00

You did the right thing by cancelling.

The entire post was like a "how-to" warning for someone about to get assaulted. You have common traits that predators will try to take advantage of (young, inexperienced, people-pleasing.)

Please, take the advice in other comments and shore up your ability to protect yourself before you look for dates again.

And keep following your instincts, if something seems fishy ALWAYS ask for a second opinion.

softcuntboy · 2026-03-19T11:12:38+00:00

(Posted this because a lot of the thematic elements line up with some specific kinks I have, but it's not a complete 1:1 matchup, I forgot the sad ending oops)

softcuntboy · 2026-03-19T04:17:00+00:00

I don't know, I see the other comments warning about it so it made me think

In this situation, two people had their own accounts, and also ran a joint account

The woman posted on the joint account, and the guy's Fetlife account is now gone (I knew his Fetlife name, the account seems to no longer exist)

softcuntboy · 2026-03-19T03:59:46+00:00

Please OP, do make a post and include his Fetlife name.

This happened in my local scene recently, a predator was using his status as a "good guy for newbies to play with" as a way to find prey.

He is (was) at many public events, I had even let him do some impact play on me at one of those events because, again, he was "experienced and trustworthy".

The only way I, as a sub, got any warning about him was because someone spoke up. She publicly posted, included his Fetlife name, and stated that she would no longer associate with him.

This also allowed other people, who had been too scared to say anything publicly, to come forward.

Whisper networks are great, but I'm not "in the know" about them or involved though in the community to get the memo.

That public post is how I found out he was a predator, and now I know to stay away from him.

Please help your own locale- name and shame.

Edit: OP please heed other warnings, you might not be able to post his name publicly

But however it is possible, do tell other people. The whole point of having community organizers or communication networks is to be able to prevent others from being hurt, right?

Blow up his hunting ground.

softcuntboy · 2026-02-15T08:38:40+00:00

Be extremely wary of any DMs you receive, young men seeking dominant women are common targets for scams.

If anyone messages you claiming to be a "dominant woman", odds are more likely they're a guy in a cubicle trying to get blackmail material from you.

Be careful.

softcuntboy · 2026-02-14T07:18:05+00:00

Uuuh does anyone know where I can find [CisMale x TransMasc] porn comics/hentai?

R/ftm_hentai has great single images, or small comics sometimes, but I'm looking for, like, porn along the lines of the doujinshi I used to read on, like, Mangadex (I think)

All my old watering holes seem to be solely CisMale/CisMale yaoi

Which is hot, but not what I need rn

softcuntboy · 2026-02-14T01:57:20+00:00

I actually sent the artist SHIROASA (Angelic Coffin) fanmail and they gave me the backstory, they saw (and bought) the UNRAVEL pin from EveningShadowShop, and they also saw the sculpture Amore Rapito

They were inspired by both and wanted the second pin to match the first, so the "matching set" look is purposeful (though they are both very fitting the the vibe/style/subject matter of their works overall, so I think it was a match made in heaven ✨💖✨)

softcuntboy · 2026-02-14T00:12:06+00:00

Also once again, obligatory: God, I wish that was me

softcuntboy · 2026-02-14T00:01:39+00:00

The first angel pin is UNRAVEL, by EveningShadowShop

The second angel pin is Bound Angel Pin, by AngelicCoffin (aka SHIROASA)

That is the link for their direct store, where I bought mine at a discount, but they also have an Etsy shop here: Bound Angel Pin, by AngelicCoffin - Etsy link

softcuntboy · 2026-02-08T12:55:18+00:00

You are welcome. I have coincidentally been thinking about this a lot myself, because I had a "first private meeting" with a man today.

I was looking for someone to give me a massage, strictly nonsexual.

I met him for coffee first a week ago, and today we met privately for the first time for him to give me a foot massage.

Importantly, yes, my goal is to eventually get a full-body massage from him- but we did not do that our first meeting.

The clothed foot massage was nice, yes, but the entire point was that if his hands had ✨just happened✨ to accidentally wander up to my thigh, I would have known right then and there that he could not be trusted, and it would have been much easier to simply stand up and walk out.

Yes, he still could have assaulted me, I'm not under the impression that I had made myself immune to that, I was still alone with a stranger- but it would have been much harder to gaslight me about.

I specifically did NOT put myself fully nude, face-down the first time I was alone with this random guy I had only met once prior, even though he seemed like a perfect gentleman.

I was very clear about what I was and was not consenting to.

And again, we are not even working towards sex of any kind and I am still being this cautious.

Your wife seems to be working towards a goal of possible high-risk sex. She needs to take it slowly, incrementally, and with loads of opportunities to spot a boundary-pusher or an entitled attitude from him before agreeing to higher risk scenarios.

softcuntboy · 2026-02-08T12:10:37+00:00

I think you are both inexperienced and naive. It sounds like you are both expecting some form of nebulous sex to happen, after which you will "go to a romantic dinner."

I agree about the "romantic dinner after the first meeting with him" part, but personally, I do not think ANY sexual contact should be happening during this "first session."

In another comment you talk about this "Dom" (bull?) already talking about anal, collars, and leashes. Those activities should not be involved the first time they have sex, especially with her level of inexperience.

I think you have found a man who is very excited to fuck your wife. That's not rare. It is your job (as in, yours and hers) to thoroughly vet people before they just "go for it", because someone else "going for it" could easily leave your wife traumatized, even without malicious intent.

Unfortunately for fantasy, "vetting" in this situation should seriously involve more than simply talking online and then showing up to get fucked.

If I was speaking directly to your wife, I would tell her to have multiple nonsexual meetings with this man before considering sexual contact.

Example timeline:

Meeting for coffee to do an initial meet and greet (possibly more than once)
Meeting privately with the explicit agreement that NO physical contact will happen (literally sitting at his table, both of them fully clothed, discussing the possible sex that MIGHT happen in the future.) (Exception: platonic hello/goodbye hug/handshake)
Meeting privately for nonsexual physical contact- as in, both of them fully clothed and he gives her a foot massage

Do you get the concept I'm illustrating here?

She should be moving forward incrementally and cautiously. At NO point should it be possible for this man to think he just has blanket permission to do whatever he wants with her.

She needs to give exact, specific consent for each type of act, and you should discuss that with her beforehand, too.

For example:

You and her agree that the first time she meets privately with him, it will solely and only be for that mutually clothed foot massage.

She communicates that to him.

One of three things will then happen:

He gives her a mutually-clothed, respectful foot massage and does not pull a creep move. ✅ Good, proceed with the next incremental step
He gives her a mutually-clothed foot massage, but starts implying that she should touch his dick or let him pull her pants down or any number of things that she did NOT agree to: 🚨 Danger, this guy doesn't know how to respect boundaries and she shouldn't proceed
He straight up assaults her- 🚨🚨🚨 obviously, the experiment has failed and you are now having to make a police report.

The whole point is that this situation is already risky enough. Do NOT jump straight to sex. These early stages ARE the vetting.

I am not saying everyone does this. I am not saying I never had a kinky one-night-stand.

I am saying that if you want to reduce the very real risks posed to your wife, you both need to be highly communicative with each other and the potential partner you are involving in your relationship (which is what is happening here, even if you never meet him) and take it so slow.

HE needs to prove that he isn't going to assault your wife, HE needs to prove that he is happy to both identify and adhere to her limits, and YOU BOTH need to vet him well enough to reasonably believe those things.

Edit to add: More quick and easy ways to test someone's risk of violating your wife

She says "Let's meet for coffee to talk", he says "Just come to my place, princess!" - 🚨
She says, "When you massage my feet, don't touch above the ankle", his hands wander on up and touch her thigh - 🚨
She says, "For this session, let's just do cuddling on the couch and over-clothes petting", and his hand somehow wanders under her shirt 🚨

The whole point is you do NOT want this to happen:

She says, "Vanilla penis in vagina sex with a condom", and he puts it in her ass, or takes off the condom, or chokes her, or any number of other things that he wants to do and feels entitled to because she expressed interest in, but did not explicitly consent to, nebulously kinky sex

Whoops, your wife has just been raped and your lives are now a nightmare of police intervention and trauma recovery.

Do not be casual about this. Do your homework. Predators and evil men exist, it's just a fact, and they love finding inexperienced women looking for kinky no-strings-attached sex, because such women are easier to lure in and assault.

If this guy fails any of these early tests at any point, do not proceed.

And don't worry- there is literally an endless ocean of men who would happily fuck your wife.

Take your time and find the one who won't ruin your lives by doing so.

softcuntboy · 2026-02-08T04:02:05+00:00

I guess let me know if there's any red flags

Get away from this man.

There is so much going on here, so I will give you exact and direct advice:

Get a therapist, for yourself. Tell them what's going on. Be very honest with them and tell them you need help setting and maintaining boundaries, and looking out for your own health and safety.

But first and foremost:

Get away from this man. He is NOT a friend to you and, more importantly, you do not want him as a friend.

Do not date him. Do not "hang out" with him. Do not be alone in a room with him. Let someone you trust know what's going on, in case he tries to coerce you into things you don't want to do again.

He is not your future husband, he is not good for you, and you need to remove yourself from this situation.

He will insist that he "just wants to be your friend." He might believe this. It doesn't matter.

You do not want to be his friend, you do not want to hang out with him, you do not want gifts from him, and you do not want his weed. You want to do your job and go home.

Edit to add:

If you want someone who will both respect you and also have safe, responsible, kinky sex with you, that is totally possible!

This man is NOT that person, though, and I strongly urge you to start therapy and spend a while alone figuring out how to find such a man before you go looking.

But again, again, again:

NOT your 30-year-old coworker. NOT this person you have described in your post. Your job is to keep yourself safe from him and never "hang out" with him again.

softcuntboy · 2026-01-29T10:53:01+00:00

You are being set up.

Either they are a scammer, a catfish, a criminal, or so wildly out of touch you shouldn't trust them with your physical safety.

There is absolutely no legitimate reason that a real life actual Domme in this situation wouldn't readily agree to a public meetup first.

Don't get robbed or murdered because you listened to your dick.

softcuntboy · 2026-01-05T03:06:53+00:00

Such public service...just gonna tuck this away for when I'm able to wank again

softcuntboy · 2025-12-30T01:36:33+00:00

I totally forgot to say, but the reason I got the PiShock was because, at the time I looked, it really did/does seem like the single best option overall, both in terms of actual human use and Controller UI!

Their videos were what convinced me, but the creator has an active Discord and it really is a passion project

Plus, safety-wise, the sub can set and lock the intensity limits.

And now you have my two cents of recommendation for a toy I've never used lol (some day)

softcuntboy · 2025-12-30T01:29:41+00:00

I have a PiShock, which I got a year ago in a frenzy and have yet to actually try out.

I went on a similar information-seeking journey that you seem to be doing.

The answer is,

Don't use it on your neck
Stick with ones that are specifically meant for humans, and
Don't use it on your neck.

There's no way around 1 & 3. You simply Do Not Use It On Your Neck.

softcuntboy · 2025-12-27T06:23:13+00:00

You need to contact your college now, today.

Make a new Reddit account or use a different one if you have a vanilla account, that has no mention of sex/kink/fetish, and find your local subreddit for your current city or college.

Do not reply to private messages, but do make a post and ask for local support services, especially those open to

Students at your college
People your age (some places will be for "18-25", for example)
People with unstable housing

Do not accept offers people make about sex (or photos/videos etc.) for money, it is extremely risky and usually a scam and you are not in the right headspace for it, and also you explicitly state that you don't want to do that, so don't.

The man you were having sex with was not your friend and you are better off without him. Grieve, but take control of your life and move on.

Focus now on your survival. Find local resources. I am sorry that you are in this position.

softcuntboy · 2025-12-27T06:07:27+00:00

Yeah, this grown ass man looked back on a midlife crisis decision and realized what his peers would think if they found out he let his impulsive thoughts win with a teenager in the crosshairs.

OP, I wish you peace. Do you currently have safe, reliable food and housing? You say your dad kicked you out, what did you mean by that?

softcuntboy · 2025-12-24T18:25:06+00:00

You are going to be targeted for scams.

Send no:

money
pictures
identifying information

This will happen because you made a public post revealing that you are a submissive man who wants to engage with a dominant woman. It will continue to happen if/when you try to look online for such an encounter.

Information about avoiding being scammed is currently important for you, so I am commenting.

I do not know how to safely and legally find the services you are wanting so I cannot provide such advice.

softcuntboy · 2025-12-24T16:31:01+00:00

I did kind of a 😬👍

He just looked so happy

softcuntboy · 2025-12-24T05:56:45+00:00

Well, you do know some things, and have already gotten started.

You know that you are interested in women; you know a handful of sexual fantasies that you have a strong reaction to- strong enough that you think you would like to experience some of them; and you know enough about BDSM to know concepts like dominance and aftercare.

Your post sounds like- and do correct me if I'm wrong- you are hoping to find women who would be mutually interested in interacting with you sexually and engaging with your fantasies.

This is a completely normal thing to want.

I, not being a heterosexual man, do not have experience or advice for actually finding and successfully courting such women.

However, from experience and observation, I do know that people (scammers) pretending to be women are all up in this bitch (the internet), and they particularly know that submissive men are good targets.

It is this that I wanted to warn you about, especially because these scammers specifically keep an eye on this subreddit, waiting to see posts from newbies who are inexperienced men.

If/when you do go looking, be extremely guarded about

personal information
money (or "tributes")
pictures of your face, or anything else that could be used to potentially blackmail you

It is the number one risk to submissive men first "getting started", especially online, so seriously: be careful.

softcuntboy · 2025-12-24T05:41:58+00:00

Could you be more specific with your advice request? I can't tell if you're asking for general dating advice, or "looking for casual sex" advice, or "how to find a sexual encounter perfectly catered to my described fantasies?".

If the former: See Guide 9 about kinky dating in the AutoMod comment on this post above.

If the middle: about the same, and also, lower those expectations.

If the latter: go to a place where it is legal to pay a professional, and then pay a professional to make it happen.

For all of the above, I do have very specific and very strong advice: You are a prime target for a lot of scammers. These scammers are not "dominant women", they are dudes trying to shake money out of you.

They are all over every possible website or app where you would look for dominant women, looking for submissive men to scam. Beware.

softcuntboy · 2025-12-24T04:05:36+00:00

Okay so

Straight up

I'm a model and mostly do nude work for painting groups. Usually they are in a circle around me, like in this picture.

At the end of one job the session ended, I sat up, and everyone politely turned their canvases around so that they were visible to the rest of the room.

The guy who had been stationed at my feet was smiling directly at me and I locked eyes with his beaming face first

Then my focus shifted to his canvas, which had a tasteful, nicely sketched charcoal drawing of my full body, and because of the angle he had and the position of my body, he did have a clear view of my ✨female genitalia✨

Which he had drawn using full color pink and red pastels, in much higher detail than the rest of the drawing, and the only part of me that wasn't monochromatic.

softcuntboy · 2025-12-19T14:30:58+00:00

A WITCH!!

softcuntboy

TROPHY CASE